Or Not? – A Poem

Dedicated

To Transmigrators

Phoenix, they say, will rise.

Sometimes it happens. Or not?

I love using metaphor

To escape my emotion of broke

Because I feel lonely

And my heart’s empty

Looking for true love

That is indeed my only

Soul, and nothing above

I lost many friendships

Or should I say I was lost?

Within the life crossroads

Which may break me. Or not?

They only made me stronger

But the power is not hot,

Whenever everyone tells you

You’re powerful. Or not?

That brings me no delight.

In the end, I am alone in the fight

That brings me to ashes

Of never-ending dashes

Until I become acceleration,

And then – transmigration.

*****

It has been a transformative year for me, and my heart healing is not at its fullest. I was strong, rejected, and used as a woman by many males, but kept my cool. Some of these people wanted to be physical with me, others stole my energy to motivate themselves regarding their selfish interests. I do not hate anybody, but the damage I have is still present. Thanks to it, I am who I am today.

Objectively speaking, I am a great woman  – assertive, powerful, sexy, and goal-oriented. If there is a need to step back, I do it intelligently, standing on my two feet in everything. Arrogant or not, I back up my words with actions. My masculinity, honor, and dignity are more than that of most men.

Shame on me! I want to be a woman with feminine energy and never imagined how hard would be after so many years of living as a male in every relationship I had.

My well-known confession is that the life movement or cycle is never-ending – rise, soar, and burn down in ashes. Life periods never change, only reactions to the situation make a person who lives now and reflects the past.

The questions are: Are You a Phoenix, Transmigrator, or Fire Extinguisher? And at What price of survival? Or not?

Changes are inevitable and it doesn’t matter how far people run or hide. That is a good reminder to everyone who prefers living uncomfortably in depression, with empty feelings.  The void inside could not be filled with material possessions.

Whatever choice people make, they should remember the consequences define the future and the example they give to their children and everyone else.