“No One Sees Me But The Silver Moon”

"No one sees me but the silver moon"

“No One Sees Me But The Silver Moon”

is an excellent explanation for today’s lack of human relationships of any kind.

While I drove my car today, I listened deeper to Enrique Iglesias’s “Tired of Being Sorry”‘s lyrics. Yesterday I was on a challenging client’s visitation and my car got stuck in the mud. I was afraid to move out of it and asked the client as a man to help me out. Later in the evening, I felt very tired of everything in my life recently. All the work in professional and personal life that goes unnoticed, the lack of human contacts, etc.

However, after a few lonely tears dropped down my tired face, I went to sleep.

Insomnia was always my life’s companion and that night was no exception. Looking at the moon and thinking about nobody sees me outside Luna, I decided to watch it a bit more.  Then I realized how “Tired Of Being Sorry” kept me going until now in my life.

Every time in business and other relationships I was the one to apologize and make amends. It’s good to do it once in a while, but every time to make some relationship to work is unhealthy and one-sided. It’s a fact that tango takes two.

When the rest of the world With whom I’ve crossed and I’ve quarreled” is a silent cry from a lonely heart to others, seeking a safe place in someone’s arms.

Unfortunately, that rarely happens nowadays, based on my experience. I envy in a good way to everyone who has shoulders to hug and hide from the daily harshness. In my case that is given only to my child. As for me, it seems I should embrace my loneliness fully.

The most mistakes I made in my past relationships were because I was utterly lonely, feeling insecure and unvalued. Most men I was involved with saw right through my eyes and ran away.  So, yes, my saying to them is like in that song: “Maybe you were right, but baby, I was lonely.”

Would I run away if I was in the same situation?

No, because I like to support and inspire my close-to-heart people, and never run away when times are challenging. That is proof of genuine care. But that is unappreciated because other things in men’s eyes seem more important—outlooks, obedience, and a feeling of peace when with someone despite everything.

My belief is men should care emotionally, sexually, and financially for their women. The same goes for females. Gentlemen should be loyal to the ladies they chose to be theirs. Together both partners can build something bigger than individual interests and satisfaction. I offered that to my past lovers and will do it with future ones, so I am tired of being sorry for the way I am. It’s better to stay single than go for less than what I give in terms of emotions, understanding, and sharing the burden and happiness with the one I will love someday. Of course, mutual feelings are a must.

In one relationship the partners should feel appreciated, respected, and genuinely loved through words and actions.

“For a thousand reasons that I know to share forever the unrest with all the demons I possess beneath the silver moon” sounds like a pure will for someone to be accepted with their dark sides. Not many people like others’ bad days but that’s the essence of a successful love story. Unfortunately, romances break down the moment when a dark side is shown.

For example, I wasn’t respected when in a bad mood. In these moments my sensitivity, sarcasm, and heart walls show up, seeming unbreakable but the truth is I hope my partner stays brave and keeps going with me.

Exactly then the thread between me and a lover was cut because he didn’t try to go through and see my true feelings. My thought is the darkest hours in someone’s life and having then someone by their side is the most sincere love confession. I have felt it only by the silver moon outside.

The men I have been with couldn’t go through my wall to not hurt themselves.

The worst was they didn’t want to understand my reasons or be compassionate with my pain. As for me,  I went to the darkest places in my men’s heads and wasn’t scared. It was the opposite. I felt proud they let me there but when they saw my blackness, males started to fear me.

My principle is in good or worse to choose always my man. But I was never chosen by them. Maybe they didn’t know how to react and didn’t even try to do it.

“Eighth and Ocean Drive With all the vampires and their brides We’re all bloodless and blind And longing for a life Beyond the silver moon” seems similar to another well-explained word for humans who make themselves asleep.

Truth under the silver moon is not pretty today.

People are like ghosts who dance alone behind closed doors to the outside world. They are living in the day their unfulfilling lives.

Yes, I know many human beings but they act like energy vampires who care only for themselves. It made me feel sorry for how mind-narrowed they are or guilty for something I did, being myself. No, I am not arrogant, but an open mind and a closed one make a big difference in energy levels and positivity.

Sooner or later, a positive attitude will attract the same. It’s how the Universe works.

“I’m standing in the street Crying out for you”is the sentence I felt many years ago and just recently, stopped standing and shedding tears for the wrong men. I am unsure why my attraction was to unavailable people but my feelings now are clear, my heart healed and my mind in peace. That happened after two years of self-development and overthinking the situations until I accepted them as they are. Some things can’t be changed as one of my best friends said: “Only God knows what will happen because he wrote it already.”

“So far away – so outer space I’ve trashed myself – I’ve lost my way I’ve got to get to you got to get to you,” is about the limit people put on themselves when they create illusions in their minds for a relationship or another person’s image. That mindset makes humans forget they also have individual needs for attention and respect, which are mandatory in every life relationship. Becoming trash by self-choice is exactly like a mental illness treated by a psychiatrist. That can be avoided with proper sharing and objective thinking about the real situation of a romance, friendship, etc.

“No one sees me But the silver moon” still is a powerful theme for me because right said, I don’t like to be the center of attention and prefer staying in the dark shadows than in bright spotlights. I went through everything until now alone because my will to not look weak is powerful and also I take care of my chaotic emotions better when no one is around. It’s not about mistrust but more like a routine that maybe I should change.
One of my fears is to be seen as a weakling and only the silver moon keeps safe my secret.
And What About You?

Hollywood Hills Or The Great Ocean’s Waves?

Hollywood Hills or The Great Ocean's Waves?

Hollywood Hills Or The Great Ocean’s Waves?

is

About Life Choices.

Recently I listen to one of my favorite songs. It’s “Holywood Hills” by Sunrise Avenue. That song’s lyrics gave me a reason to think and create another confession.

Everybody knows about Hollywood Hills Dream. Not many people understand the price of staying there and that they’re somehow limited in their lives. I have never been a resident of a rich neighborhood and maybe will not be. But, after reading about many famous people, my idea about Hollywood’s life summarizes loneliness. Pure and unknown for ordinary people because in Holywood nobody stays with a person for himself.

The idea of the “Hollywood Hills” song is about choices.

To stay in the rich neighborhood under the radar of everyone and the lack of privacy, or live an ordinary life, doing what the heart desires?

Becoming a famous person has a price and it’s not for everyone. Surely, materialistic and consumer life in every area is interesting.

Will that be forever?

I am not sure about it. The reason for my love for “Holywood Hills” is that I have been on both sides of life – rich and poor.  While living in my hometown years ago, my family was wealthy. And still, it is, but I am not there.

When I moved to Burgas for love toward my ex-boyfriend and the sea fifteen years ago, my knowledge of poverty grew rapidly, looking at the great ocean’s waves of my new life.

It was not the pretty picture my mind painted. The daily fight with bills and life matters, in general, started immediately. I learned to organize better and to create a budget. Many things I didn’t even know while living under the gold parental wing showed up. Everything was unknown to me since I lived in a golden cage.

Listening to the “Hollywood Hills” song gives me chills. It shows the internal fight to continue living as there is no tomorrow with the dirtiness and limitations of a materialistic world or going free when no money is a motivator, but the internal fire to achieve goals.

Heart’s freedom is not an easy choice. Many sacrifices are required to follow a fast heartbeat but that state is the closest to happiness.

The great ocean’s waves are in the context of living alone.

Being alone means freedom to follow individual dreams without brainwashing models of life which can be easily found in places like Holywood Hills. To stay there someone should lose identity and follow the rules of popularity. They are harsh and isolating.

Living a rich life has two cons: falseness and loneliness. The pros are money and pleasure.

When people have enough material things, they start to feel suffocating and bored because they literally can buy everything, including “friends”. But, the companions stay by the person’s side until they are under the spotlight. When they got sick, they have caretakers because there are no close-to-heart people to care for them. They never feel sincere human contact for free.

On the other side, living a free life has sincerity from a small group of people has a positive side, but the negative is sometimes feeling shallow and trapped in the mundane. But that shall pass.

The true expression of feelings through the things people love to do can’t be experienced with no money in the world. It’s a fact wealth is important, but when there is freedom of living, that stays on life’s backseat.

My belief is people should live outside any limitations that society and money put on them forcefully and they choose it for free sometimes. That is why I love the “Holywood Hills” song so much.

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