Soulmate’s Crossroad Ends In Life Road’s Padlock

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Explaining The Soulmates Delusional Love and Life Lessons With Self-Sarcasm

For today’s confession, my reminder is that using self-sarcasm has always been one of my favorite ways to keep moving on. Some time ago, a man I loved told me wooing doesn’t happen with sarcastic humor. But Soulmate’s Crossroad ends in Life Road’s padlock.

It doesn’t matter anymore because I became blunt, and intolerable to accusations of any kind. My patience of waiting for someone to come by my side faded away and ended its course for that lifetime.

Right said I have no will for men to understand me anymore. The fact I am a difficult woman, and nobody can handle me. At least I do not know such a person yet, which is my current reality. Accepting it is my gift to keep living the best way I can. It’s uncertain how many years more I will be alive.

Soulmate’s Crossroads Ends

I like the idea of soulmates. It’s romantic and it’s true because I felt it that way with few people in my life. They are not there the same way as before, but they exist and are remembered in my heart. My gratitude toward them is neverending. Those men, I got romantically involved with, taught me I am better off alone.

Things I learned were that my romantic actions pattern was the same as my last serious relationships for the last twenty years. I made the bold first steps toward the men, and the relationships started online. In the end, I was like a lone runner in life’s stadium that finished second as one of my exes told me.

Why Second? Because there was no one by my side except myself, or so I felt alone in  every one of my “relationships.”

When people are not ready for a relationship or go in it with the wrong person, as I was for those five males, things go out of control. I taught those men a lot, and so did they.

Today, these people tell me they are ready for a relationship, but never found a woman like me, for good or bad. They say now they understand me, but I am like the runner who nobody wants to run with.

On the other hand, my patience, feelings, and waiting for these males to stay by me on my life path, are long gone.

Metaphorically speaking, my love situation today is like a bridge, decorated with padlocks. They are covered with names of people who I loved deeply, giving them everything. Unfortunately, they did not feel the same way toward me until we were together.

The curious thing is my few admirers, or at least those I know, are intimidated by me. No one makes a step toward me, and I continue the marathon by myself. It’s like a habit to me.

However, I go back to the topic of the soulmate’s delusional love. It’s a fact these people connect on a deep level with each other. The soulmates’ bond is like a magnetic attraction.

But by reading horoscopes and astrology articles, people got blinded they found their person. That is untrue and creates delusions because the expectation of someone to be with another person is pretty high when there is zodiac compatibility.

Soulmate’s delusional love is projecting qualities people want to have in their partner on someone, who has no idea what it’s all that about. Usually, he wants no commitment. In that case, one party burns and the other stays shocked, not knowing what happened. After some time, the burned person moves on, but the shocked one finds out he missed a partner who was right for him. That is proved by my experience when I abandoned the people who didn’t want to run by my side.

I have no time to wait for someone to decide if he wants to be with me or not. When there is an expectation and wondering, it’s better to pack my bags and go on a solo trip.

In Life’s Road Padlock

Yesterday I was on a trip with my parents and child. There was a place, called the “Bridge of Lovers”. There were many padlocks with the names of partners because it’s a symbol of commitment. I looked at them, not understanding what is the carving point. Remembering how my bonds fell apart and my heart became cold as ice toward a man, I wondered why people should lie to each other, creating the padlock.

Sure, that is because my experience is like that. But, driving back to my current town, I understood the point of all that falseness.

People are insecure about their lovers and do whatever it takes to create a stability delusion by decorating padlocks when they should work together to achieve more.

That is where I lack in my “relationships” – the work together part.

The reasons are many: my temperament, intensity, and going too fast, but the other party should at least try to cope with me. It takes two to tango but many times the two do not want to dance and there is only one hopper.

However, a padlock is life’s greatest decoration when there is nothing else to hold onto but I don’t understand the empty ornaments. They are the same as the blank people. Emptiness goes deep when there is uncertainty in personal relationships and how the actions will be seen.

After I met five male soulmates who never loved me for who I am, I can say that their existence for me became a decorative padlock with each name written. It stays on my life’s bridge to remind me where have I been and how deep went into love emptiness. My romantic imagination works still, but now I know I am free to go after the treatment I received and gave reciprocally.

Unfortunately, I am at a no-return point to believe in love, so I have no choice but to start working more. 

Continuing to believe in romance makes no sense to me anymore, but I still keep doing it until I decide to start with a one-night stand, maybe. At least, that proposal is direct and honest, without empty promises or expectations for someone to accept me as I am.