Relationships

Women Deserved Red Lipstick

Putting A Smile Into Woman’s Eyes

 

I recently bought Vynil Red Lipstick, the color “Wicked.” Finally, I got the courage to put on Red Lipstick in my middle age.

 

My life has changed. After learning how to wear the Red dress, the time to learn to wear red lipstick was inevitable. Change is the painful road to personal growth and opening the closed mind’s eyes. One thing is undeniable – the change is always for good even people understand that later.

Since my newest lipstick is fabulous, I want to dig deep into Why the Red Lipstick is Freedom.

People live in challenging times, especially in dating and relationships. Everyone wants to be interesting and attract the attention of the other sex in one way or another. That is normal. But, there is a thin line between being eccentric just because and a lifestyle built with time, usually through sadness, and pain that tears the heart inside out, transforming the soul into pure love light.

Being eccentric just because is saving the day a few times, but in the long-term, it does not work out because the false image can not hide for too long.

On the other side, showing uniqueness daily, even fanatically unconventional, has its pros. Not many people go after the eccentric of someone that is so damn unconventional because it is intimidating.

Uniqueness requires sacrifices, and not many people want to walk alone in life’s ocean filled with jellyfishes that stick and burn together.

As every reader knows, I am a proud loner. Some call me cold, some arrogant, and I do not even care anymore because the best and the worst times of my life I met alone, so I know things or two about solitude.

But, let’s go back to the main question now. I became courageous after having many breakups in my personal life, and I failed 100 times in my professional path. Yes, these many times, I fell to win the Writing competitions I participated in. But now, I have material for a Poetry book.

So, I never left my dream to be a writer in the trashbin of daily routine and mundane problems with other personalities.

The red lipstick, for me, gives a newfangled meaning to life. Today, after too much work on my self-awareness, inside world, and outside appearance, I can use my mouth to tell and defend my truth.

In the past, I avoided conflicts and my needs. But, thanks to my newly found inner growth after the challenging life cycle last few years, I am free to go and speak my mind out without worrying about how my words will interpret.

If the people care about me, they will read between the lines. If not, they will stay shocked and feel insulted.

Putting a smile Into Women's eyes
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Now, what do women learn from wearing Vinyl Red and Wicked Lipstick?

That is my opinion regarding online dating, and I do not fear telling it straight to support many other single women like me to look pitiful and desperate in the eyes of the men who look only for fun, fraud, and reserve plans online.

Now, after being in many unhealthy relationships because I allowed it for various reasons – under society’s or loneliness’ pressures, I stand up and speak up my opinion. I do not want my daughter to live like a shadow in man’s or society’s opinions and pressures.

By the way, I do not hate men – I love them all. Lovemaking, flirting, and imagining how beautiful would be in reality in the numerous online romance are a tender way to daydream and spend time but does nothing else.

All the men I have been with and met daily are good, but I am not their woman, even if they were my men sometimes in life and in my mind. Maybe I will be someone’s woman in the future but not today. The thing about online dating men is they are in a relationship and often use online dating to have a reserve plan if something happens.

I want to support women in my position in the dating market and help them open their mouths for themselves.

What to know about online romance scammers that use dating apps?

There are two main types of romance scammers I have met until now.

The first one is the Flirty and passionate cryptocurrencies handsome guy with dogs.

These guys are mostly on Instagram, LinkedIn, or Writing platforms. It was funny when these men saw my Instagram with pictures of Dubai and started writing to me because maybe I looked rich. They say they are interested in the woman, and send flirty emojis.

From time to time share about the cryptocurrency market or ask straight to invest, and use their charm, backed up by dog owning to make the woman go crazy in love. They promise they will take financial care of her, teaching her to invest, but do not ask for pictures or personal details outside saving habits. If the woman is though, they disappear in up to 1 month saying there is a dead family person or the market crashed.

They are sweet, but these boys love their job too much and never keep their promises to online calls.

When it comes to real-life meetings, the women either should wait to be surprised or invited when things are under control from the man’s side.
Communication with cryptocurrencies guys is inspiring and creates the illusion the man is successful and will take care of his woman in every aspect. Sometimes they promise they arrange everything and send money to the woman to go to them in their country. Usually, these guys are from Europe in most cases in my communication, at least.

Right said these guys are good ones with too much reality in their words. These boys are desperate for money in most cases, using lies that they are millionaires that drive expensive cars and own beautiful houses. I do not blame them since everyone wants to live a comfortable lifestyle.
The dogs here play a huge role because, in Psychology, men that love dogs are considered great husbands who truly love their wives and children.

 The second type of romance scammer is Family-oriented contractors with a kid that is in a boarding school.

These guys are everywhere on social media. They want the Gmail or Hangouts ID, start to ask personal questions, and use the mother love and compassion of women for their families. They are usually from the USA or Asian countries. These men say they are on working contracts between one and three years. If the woman wants to meet them in reality, usually they have no place to meet her outside the office apartment.

These men usually speak about their late wives and how they are separated from their children because they have a contract in the Oil or Real Estate industry. They use fake pictures of houses, older men, and children between 6 and 17 years.
They bring up a sad story of family loss. Usually, the woman they speak to reminds them of the late wife, or it is the first to communicate openly with after the death of the loved one.

When on Instagram, these guys follow at least 3000 other women.

On the Writing platforms, they do not have a single published post or reading list. That type of guy uses pictures of older, well-kept males. That way, they create the illusion of high activity in every field.

These men use romantic words, flower pictures, and clips to make the woman fall for them. They also insist she sends them her photos and if she has a child – her child too. On the second day of communication, they say they love the woman, and on the third, they want to marry her. These men start speaking about the woman’s child like it is their own.

They show deep care about the daily routine of the woman they flirt with and insist she speak to them daily. When these scammers think they have the woman’s trust, they want Amazon Gift Certificate or Money for something else.

The contractors use flirty, clingy, obsessive, controlling behavior because many women indeed like that still. Those men never call the woman because they have either poor connection or if they make a video call is blurry, or mouth movement is not matching. They rarely disappear on their own because they’re persistent, and when exposed, the men play like they are the hurt ones, making the women feel guilty. Then they start anew.

So, both types of men are into the women for their money, or sometimes they want to create an illusion that they have a relationship. It is sad because everyone deserves to feel loved, but today’s dating market is not nurturing sincere relationships.
In most cases, men and women online go only for the flirt, free online pictures, and masturbation, if not for the fraud.

What mean wearing the Red Lipstick again?

Speak the truth before it’s too late without going into useless communication that hurts at the end of it. Women are more emotional and prone to create imaginary love. They should be careful how they communicate and follow their logic in the talk with men. There should be no fear in stating the facts, needs, and values.

Men, on the other side, are more logical and using-oriented because they love to be physical without much effort, but that will lead to happiness in the short term. At a certain age, that will not be enough anymore. One of my old flames told me: “Men are animals when it comes to sex.” Maybe they do not choose when they want it. I am not sure.

But, you know what?

Everyone wants to be physical with a person that fits in more than one chemistry level.

The red lipstick is not a scandal or a sign of the femme fatale. Women dare to speak their minds as it is without worrying about their potential man’s opinion or society’s norms. That is the key for a woman to look sexy in men’s eyes. Her head is in the right place, not somewhere else, if you know what I mean.

Boldness in actions from men is always a good idea. But, women should give accurate signs of interest and read between the silent lines of men’s eyes.

In the end, who doesn’t love red lipstick’s traces on the body and clothes? 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Not Me?

Why Not Me?

That question always made me wonder. It is of great significance for men and women. Relationships between people are complicated.
When we speak about love relationships, especially unrequited, feelings the situation becomes more complex.


“Why not me?” is always the first question when we see we fall for someone who is cold and distant toward us or gives mixed signals.


Since I have rich experience in overthinking the “Why not me?” question because my unrequited loves are a crowd, I will try to answer it sincerely. It may help all who take the time to read what I have written, and they can find themselves in my words.
The bright side of one-sided love is that every time a person gets rejected, that becomes expected, and it doesn’t hurt too much.
 

Sometimes it is funny how people that reject you try to play innocent.

 
They show they are worried, but indeed they are not. Of all rejecting lines, the most popular is “I see you as a friend” or “I do not love you as more than a friend”.
 
Both sentences are hypocritical because why do people flirt with just a friend?
 
They should say they do not like you, hurt others hard, and make them move on with their dignity and honor. People need to walk away gracefully from those who cause them pain. The friendship story’s crap people tell because of politeness.
But that politeness will not save a person’s heart from breaking. There is a big difference between friendship and love, in my opinion. Friends can become lovers, but lovers back to friends rarely.
In the case of rejection of a friend in the first stages of falling in love, it is possible to become a strong friendship after some time apart, when the rejected person heals.


The pain of rejection is intoxicating and a wake-up call.

 
There is a pearl of old wisdom “What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger” – and it is just like that. As soon as people walk away from the unrequited love, they become persons with a stronger mentality. I know it is hard to let go of someone who liked or loved deeply, but the ties with the one-sided love should cut at least for a while until the mind and heart calm down.
After all, at the end of life, people have only themselves. Throughout the life journey, the persons should be the best version of themselves toward other humans and living beings. Giving as much kindness as people should not be for the price of self-sacrifice. After all, self-worth attracts love and understanding.

Now, let’s see the “Why not me?” question’s reasons:

Not ready for a relationship;

Not over the ex-lover or loving someone else;

Lack of will to deal with another’s personal feelings;

Not being ready for a relationship;

In today’s life, that situation is the most common reason to not step into a relationship. Many people are obsessed with their work and problems with their parents or siblings. Or they do not want to have a relationship at the current moment in their lives. That is perfectly fine because when people have no peace of mind or clear vision of what they want, a relationship may make them more uncertain. A forced relationship just because to be in a relationship is a bad idea.

Currently, I do not need a relationship too. Many people should first collect themselves from the past wounds and build their new hearts home because the purity of heart is all we have. 

For the heart to be pure, people need to build walls first for a while to understand better what they want from themselves, their lives, and their eventual partner.

When people are not ready to jump into a relationship, they should control their lust for doing the jump because if they don’t, their hearts will be more broken than before. I say it from experience.

Last year, I went straight away from one relationship to another, and I ended up so broken on a deep level that I hardly can heal, but time takes care of me. I wish no one my experience, so I gladly share my piece of wisdom. When people are not ready to give something valuable in their eventual relationship, they should stay single until their heads clear up.

A relationship is giving, and inspiring the partner, not whining, and blaming the universe. My case now is similar because I finally found my “Why not me?” question’s answer. I can’t give any man that flirts or speaks with me what he deserves for a love relationship. 

The reason is that I have more serious work to make myself a whole than to project my disappointment and drama on other people.

I keep myself emotionally unavailable until the time I find myself. That is why I block almost all communication with potential baes in the beginning. I am not proud of this, but it is the best solution for participants in the flirt game because if things go deep, I can’t jump into a serious relationship now, after so many breakups. I do not want to give empty promises or unrealistic hopes.

Another example I can give of not being ready for a relationship is from one of my male friends. He is quite ambitious about his work, and he sees the eventual relationship as a distraction in his work field. That is the reason why he looks only for physical contact with women, but after some adventures, he said to me he doesn’t want to make women pregnant and stays solo until he is ready to commit.

Many people are like me, and him at the moment. In that situation, my opinion is it’s better to not talk about any prospect of a love relationship, and not even think about it if people are not ready to open themselves to others.

When a person is not ready for a relationship in his heart and mind, it’s a high possibility of heartbreak.

Of course, if someone is too brave and patient to break the heart’s walls, meeting the worst behind them, the love magic can happen. But that is almost an unrealistic tale.

Self Thinking

Many people do not go into a relationship because they are not over their ex-partner or love someone else.

They may even not know it or want to accept it. The facts are most relationships fell apart because one of the partners in the new relationship is not over the ex-partner. Or even both partners did not let go of the former lover. They compare the new partner with the old one and can’t accept the personality traits they meet in the current crush.

 Some people love routines, and they change them hardly. That doesn’t work in any relationship because people are different and unique. Adaption and acceptance is the main point in the relations. It happens that some humans use others to forget their ex-lovers. That happened to me too, and it is painful.

Competing with the ex-date is impossible because the current partner and his ex have a long relationship story. The new page of every love it’s written only if both parties want to write it. If only one partner wants to put any effort into the new relationship, it is a matter of time before its end.

When a partner is still in love with another person, nothing can change because feelings are not something that moves from place A to place B, and the heart is also not a thing that can order what and when to do something.

The mind’s logic doesn’t always win when there is a battle between it and the heart.

It is a big mistake when a person still loves somebody else to join a relationship with an innocent human who only wants to be loved and give all the love to the partner. Both sides suffer because the one partner always dreams and imagines things he does with the current partner to have done with the other person he loves.

The worst-case scenario is that the current partner knows the truth and stays in the wrecked relationship because of love. It is ruining. What I mean is when a person makes love with their current partner to see the face of the person they love.

Devastating, yes?

I wish not that feeling even the enemies I have in my life. It is like going to hell and back, losing all dignity, honor, and pride. No one deserves to feel or look pitiful. With one of my ex-partners, I felt that way exactly. Many other people I know have been through a situation like that. It is emotionally and physically burning on a stake.

I have a good friend who said to me that he prefers to be a playboy who looks only for sex because he lacks the will to deal with another person’s feelings. 

At first, I was shocked, but now I understand his point of view better. Many people feel lonely with themselves. They are obsessed with having a relationship with anyone. That makes them anxious and not good in their minds.

I have been in that situation before because the loneliness sometimes is overwhelming.

The forced dealing with other people’s feelings is also destructive for the individual and his life. When in a relationship with someone with unsolved problems, a person can play the role of mother or sister, but not a partner and lover.

After all, everyone has his parents and siblings, and they do not need to replace him with another person.

A serious relationship is when both partners are equal and work for the bond to grow up and become stronger. That is the main point of the family between two people.

However, many people like my friend do not want to play the role of savior, mother, brother, or cousin. That is the right way of thinking.

When someone plays a parent in a relationship for a long time, they lose themselves.

The purpose of a relationship is for two authentic persons to make a wholly happy and strong couple. Otherwise is not needed even to try to make a relationship works. That is what I think.

To have a fulfilling relationship, the partners should work a lot on themselves to make things right. They should go on that adventure with all they have. Dealing with another person’s feelings is not healthy and is not needed because it can become slavery, bringing no positivity to the life of the partners.

In conclusion, the “Why not me?” question has many answers based on people’s experiences, state of mind, or the needs of the body and heart.

Facts about that question give a lot of pain, but also self-awareness. In the unrequited love situation, it is better to look after the real reasons behind the rejection. That knowledge helps not make the same mistakes after the heart heals from the one-sided love.

The truth I can say for sure about my unrequited loves is that they were real for me, and I gave all to the persons I tried to be within a relationship.

After every rejection, I learned more about myself and what I want from a relationship. Of course, I felt broken many times, but I find peace in writing my feelings down on Wattpad because living in neverending love drama sure is not my thing.

Thanks to my one-sided love crowd, I am the strong woman I am today. I do not suggest having too much experience in unrequited love.

Nevertheless, I highly recommend everyone to do a lot of thinking carefully after every breakup or rejection to make sure what made things go wrong. If the reasons are in the person and they projected their uncertainty to another person, it is not good. If the reasons are in another part of the relationship, then the other participants in the dating have a problem with high expectations. High or perfect expectations lead to huge disappointments and a walk away from the potential relationship.

Unrequited love sometimes happens because people do not listen to their inner voices but to others. It doesn’t matter if the others are family, friends, or elders. The pain of one-sided love makes people grow up and upgrade their emotional intelligence level.

Only when they are emotionally stable, comprehensible in their heads, and accept their intuition, does a relationship blossom. Even so, fear of the “Why not me?” question is normal these days, and it is a must for a person to mature.


There is a saying that a broken heart gives the best life lessons.

That is the truth because, without these life lessons, people stay like babies that do not know how to take steps, and always will need someone to guide them. For the perfect relationship, a person should be imperfect but whole.

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