Nothing To Say Anymore – Poem

The moment When People Part Ways Emotionally.

There was a time when my life was in your eyes

Now, these moments are like far memory that flies

I have lived long in my fantasy with you

Knowing that everything is my parallel truth

A wish that I hold dear and made me dying

Between the burden of the savior and lying

That everything is going to be alright

We will manage to hold each other tight

And now I know I am not in your world

As you are not in mine, it was like an ancient scroll

That cannot recreate as a whole

Because there is a missing ingredient

The love between us was solely my patent

And when a person is fighting alone

There is nothing else to be done

Then walking away with the crown

Of past feelings, long overdue gone

There is nothing to say anymore

I feel empty when I write to you, prone

To accept your mercy of a single word

I do not want to do this anymore

I am not miserable to be loved crow

By someone who is for me not here anymore

Putting a powerful line: “I am good on my own”

And you are, indeed, without a doubt

So now is the right time to let you go

It will hurt, but I should stay strong

I do not want to be invincible anymore

With all of this coldness and fear to love

Someone like me who opened my soul

Between your eyes, but I became a ghoul

Waiting for you to hold my hand when I fall

And when I reached out, I ended up alone

By polite words to make me feel cold

Pushed off by the stroll

Of my heart’s sanctuary

Everything happened punctually

There is nothing to say anymore

I accepted it because I do know

Speaking with me is your load.

*****

The poem says it clearly. Fairytales go wrong sometimes. Or should I say most of the time?

In my life, I had a few romances that ended badly. Most of them shattered me. I went broke inside and re-collected my heart pieces to create a crystal. My crystal is worth protecting and I became not as easy prey as before. That is my mantra recently. Crystals usually are alone and hard to find but it’s better to be that way than share mud with people who do not appreciate my presence in their lives. Arrogant or not, that’s my evolution after every breakup of a fairytale romance I started in my head with people who do not care for my personality.

The end is evident when there is nothing to say between two people or a lack of will for that. I have been there many times in every kind of relationship. Sorrow, pain, betrayal – every human met them. It hurts every time and takes many tears to recover but after the emotional rain is gone, things inside the soul are brighter.

Accepting the situations as they are is a must because only that way people grow in character. Today, I cut ties with those who go on my nerves, trying to prove they’re right to be fake. It’s a lonely fight for justice, but every second is worth it.

I may become a sinner or egoist, but it’s because life taught me that way. Being good is naive and inevitable for my character, but when fed up, I walk away in silence. Whoever understands or not, both ways are okay for me.

Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly

And It will Die

To be Reborn in Something More Beautiful Than Ever Before.

Today my mood is a weird combination of rage, fear of the unknown, un unappreciation of my efforts, and disappointment from a loved person. Not in a negative way through, it’s more like in shaking one for a better life.

When I feel like that, I listen to my favorite HIM song “Wings Of A Butterfly” which resonates well with my current feeling and it’s my writing motivation. Parts of its lyrics are the basis of my thinking confession today.

Many people live under the motto “Heaven ablaze in our eyes” and “We’re standing still in time“ in their emotional unavailability to commit. Past disappointments roar and chain the heart to move on. Reasons are various but more likely worse personal experience.

But, tell me, if that experience didn’t exist, would you be the person you are today, with the new wings of a butterfly?

Recently, I got pissed off with a male who treated me hot and cold. One time I was a friend, another- a lover. In the end that made me rip out the wings of my love’s butterfly soon enough after we started dating. I’m no one’s accessory or a trophy to be brought around, and I want to know where is my place in someone’s life.

Statements like “This Endless mercy line” known as “Situationship” and “We’re crawling side by side” – “Toxic Relationship” should not fit in people’s romantic lives. They’re not worth it and kill the personal and couple’s growth. Situationship and toxic relationships are often used as excuses. Many people, who do not want to fully commit and trust others look for a way to avoid responsibility. It’s one of the reasons many singles stay like that forever.

Romantic disappointments lead to philophobia or obsession with someone. Both scenarios bring no good. They make a lot of damage to couples or individuals. However, it’s something uncontrollable sometimes when the love is too strong.

Indifference between partners is the relationship assassin I find in the “With Hell Freezing over in our eyes” sentence.

People are different and they rarely accept others’ faults. A true bond is when someone knows the worst sides of a partner, friend, or team member, and still stays by his side. When they do not see the good sides and try to change the other’s worst sides which are the spice of the human character, there is no future in the relationship. Feelings freeze then, and people separate.

On the other hand, obsession with someone may lead to crimes. They may be from jealousy, envy, or not having enough time between lovers. Every minute and hour is a treasure for those who love each other. Waiting for a call or text message seems endless and creates false thoughts about the partner being uninterested or cheating. That is the basis for jealousy and obsession. If the individual doesn’t control it, the situation goes crazy, leading to unforgivable actions.

Love is like a butterfly, but if its wings start to rip, it’s better to rip them out.

Yes, that way, the feelings will die in pain, darkness, sorrow, and emptiness, but only that way metamorphose comes to the heart. The next butterfly transformation will be a better one.

Letting go of dead emotions without allowing them to transform the heart into steel is better than kissing adamant. I also experienced that in lovemaking with someone. It kills passion and creates a feeling of being a mistake in someone’s life. That taints the soul which is the only asset we have in our human lives.

In the end, the“Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul, my love” phrase is the best lesson people learn when they meet face-to-face with a painful love experience.