Do You Prefer Love Catalog?

Do You Prefer Love Catalog?

Do You Prefer Love Catalog?

Is It About The Dehumanizing Art Of Online Dating?

As per today’s confession, I will be a little peppery.  My love for physical closeness and emotional depth in a partnership is unquestionable, but I am also highly disappointed by online dating applications and social platforms.

Single people look for romance online or give up the search for a partner forever for many reasons. I am one of those who stopped looking for love, after using the Tinder dating application.

I wasted two hours of my life using that application before the live concerts I went to, starts. It’s expensive, with unreal expectations and fake pictures based on my experience.

Love Catalog

Everyone loves gifts or sales catalogs. Tinder and other similar applications are just like that. Giving money to choose from men’s pictures to chat without any serious idea where the chat will go is not attractive.

I started to wonder when people started using catalogs in a relationship’s partner’s search conquest. Fears of rejection, shyness, and lack of courage to make the first steps toward someone desirable are not just funny, but it’s a tragical-comical way to show insecurities.

Humans are not cataloged. However, if they accept themselves as ones, showing off on online dating websites, it’s not my problem. It only shows how the dehumanizing art of online dating takes a more powerful stand daily. That is pitiful and highly disrespectful toward a person.

Or maybe it’s easier to abandon a chatting partner who, by the way, is human than to have a clear idea of where the conversation should go and finish.

I chatted on Tinder with someone living in my neighborhood. It was written he is under 1 km distance and when inviting him to a coffee out, he disappeared. It was not even about a date to a fancy place but for a vending coffee machine outside to meet personally, which is the best communication approach. Running away solves the situation temporarily.

People look confident in words online and their wishes, but when it comes to breaking their comfort zone while going into live-action, everyone fades away somewhere unknown. I am fed up with doing the first steps toward a man, once again.

What will happen if someone gets rejected or fall in love with the wrong person?

It’s a painful experience to get rejected but it’s better to try than not to.  It’s better to experience feelings and have good memories than do nothing. Humans are not robots and they will never be. It doesn’t matter how far they run to excel, work productively and hard. Professional life limits the heart’s comfort, and that is good to remember because it’s not working in the long term. Accepting it or not, that is the inevitable truth. Until then, it’s good to think twice about love cataloged online.

The Dehumanizing Art Of Online Dating

While I swept through many male profiles on Tinder, the feeling of choosing an item didn’t fade away. I saw also over 99 males liked my profile. Then I felt like a slice of meat. The human is not only pictures and some last-second thought words. My life is seen as unconventional but I am proud because it’s mine. Many people see me as abnormal, distant, cold, independent, or psycho. I am all that, and they are right to judge me as they wish. The sure thing is my humanizing attitude in everything I do toward everyone I know one way or another in my life.

Online dating makes people fit into stereotypes, cutting their wings to improvement on their pace and claiming them as unfit in today’s dating reality.

Recently, I got angry at a Facebook post that men want comfortable women that will not create stress for them. The same goes for the female part. People are not sofas for others to rest.  If someone can’t express themselves freely with every side they have toward a partner, it’s just fake closeness and nothing else. These relationships are doomed from the start.

In the past, I always thought about what to say and how to act in the face of my past partners. That made me uncomfortable. The freedom to express me, bring trouble in finding someone to be with, but my mind peace got better.

True love is not easy and it’s acceptance of every weird side of the other person which makes them cute and real. Online dating can’t happen because of the forced and limited thinking of how to attract attention from the opposite sex.

Two Days Before Valentine’s Day

One of the falsest life events and looking for sex is international love day. If romance strengthens on a certain date, there is something amiss. Gifts and flowers on a specific date are a bit hypocritical. True romantic love should be celebrated daily between two partners who care for each other. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

 However, I was amazed by the deep affection an older couple showed me on my favorite Bulgarian rock group “No More Many More” last Friday night. As usual,  I made a reservation for two for an event. Ending up alone at a live concert never bothered me. I am used to that and feel no shame showing my emotions in public, not caring for social opinion. A couple joined me at the table. We introduced ourselves and I loved them both.

Even at the gold age, they danced and showed love toward each other like the first days of a young romance.

I asked them to take the picture I posted today. Right said, my envy couldn’t be hidden. They were sweet and in love, living for each other and traveling wherever their favorite group had concerts. I wonder how that is possible, but it is. When both people work for the relationship to not become a routine, things continuously are blossoming between both partners.

My dream has always been to have a love like that of those two people. That’s the reason I do not look for short-term fun like most people. A relationship should build from the scratch until the end of the physical life’s circle. I prefer to stay single until I found what I look for than to lie to myself about something I do not have or be love cataloged.

It may take many years to find it, but I will not stop. My old-school morals and principles never lied to me.

However, love has different shapes and one of them is my admiration for the No More Many More group. They have a civil position which they defend fiercely with their music. The band’s name is obvious. They’re emotional and not like the usual rock or boy groups. The artists gave their everything to the concert and weren’t arrogant. They were equal to the public. And that made them more popular. 

I do not have much power yet but I want to promote their music through my blog and poetry. These artists deserve much better than what they have now. For those interested, their next concert will be in London on 16.06.2023 at “100 Club” – rock and roll.

Another form of love is meeting new people and sharing interests. I met two new friends at the live concert, so I feel never alone at the events, wherever visit alone or not. Company at face-to-face meetings is far better than online chatting with someone unsure of what he wants.

Whatever is done, personal contact always is the communication winner if people dare to do the first steps. Do You Dare? Or Do You Prefer Love Catalog?



So That Is – Short Story

So That Is - Short Story

So That Is – Short Story


Dedicated to Virtual Breakups.

“So, that is what the breakup looks like” – Valery said sadly to herself.

“Yes, my dear friend. It always hurt before the new roads,” said Vivian, hanging up the phone – I come to you tonight.

It had been a long way to come to this story’s end.

Some people like Valery have not experienced a breakup for the single reason that they always were rejected.

The memories of his last words before the parting of their ways still echoed in her head.

Six months earlier.

“Hey, pretty, hello, do you want to be my game partner?” – a message popped up

“Well,” -Valery was hit in the head by a surprise – “It would be good.”

“If you do not want it, no problem for me,” smiled the boy on the screen.

“I do, but why?” she was surprised.

“How come why? Because you look pretty in this game!”, the flirt continued.

“You’re bold. I like you!” told the girl to the unknown boy

“Well, it seems you do not want, to see you!” the game character moved away.

“It is not like that, but we have no points for this yet.” Valery tried to explain.

“Are you sure?” a grinning emoji showed up.

At the same time, a message popped up. An anonymous player sent you romance arrows. The points between those two grew up fast.

“Wow, you are amazing!”- said surprised Valery- “But may I know your name?”

“It’s Blue. I want it that way. Everything between us will stay here, in-game,” told the player.

“But then why?” the girl did not know what to say.

“We will talk later, beautiful I need to go now!”, the mysterious person went offline.

That was the beginning of many weird happenings between Valery and Blue.

Starting the day was good, and both gamers played some time together. It was great until she met another player and got attached to him.

 Slowly, Valery forgot Blue.  Their relationship stopped going forward. The boy wasn’t online often and between different periods.

Four months ago.

Both players went on separate game roads. Sometimes they talked about different things. Valery bought up most of the topics. They were connected to her.

Blue always stood calm by her game character. He listened to her without understanding much. The man tried to make Valery smile and succeeded.

Valery fell for him, but she was loyal to her current game partner.

Three months ago.

Time went by. Blue and Valery talked rarely.

One night, he was drunk. Blue joined in the game and they talked together while watching the beautiful graphics.

Slowly, they began to write naughty things that led them to deeper sexual and virtual connections. The tension between them could hardly be explained in words. They couldn’t resist each other.

 After that night, everything changed. Blue ignored Valery.

The girl wondered if she looked like an easy woman or if he was feeling weird and ashamed.

The truth stays uncovered yet.

After some more time, Valery left the game. She felt lonely and her friends did not play anymore.

Blue still did not say a word about what happened between them. She thought he took her for fun. That hurt her, like many other events.

The current and unclear situation made her quit fast at the place where she felt pain.

Two months ago.

After a long break, Valery decided to join the game again.

“New places and meetings,” she thought. The girl was happily playing, with a different player name, when she saw a beautiful male character.

“Hello, do you want us to play together? ” asked the boy.

“Yes, why not? Let’s go!” said happily the girl.

Both players were happy.

One day they joyfully chatted when both players found they knew themselves from the last game they were in.

“Oh, my god! Is that you, Blue?”

The happy coincidence made both game personalities smile.

“Yes, we are good old friends, Valery.” said indifferently Blue.

This time they began a new like a game couple. It was a happy meeting, but Valery began to want more of that relationship.

In her head, many questions appeared, but she did not ask them. Valery did not want to lose Blue again. She started to misunderstand virtual reality and real life because of her pain inside. It was good to live in a game where there are no challenges and broken hearts.

Blue always said that she was a good friend of his. The girl never asked what the night they had before meant to him. She feared losing him forever.

One month ago.

As time went by, Valery wanted more from Blue. She became obsessive and in a stalker-like state. The girl knew that was not good, but her emotion of miss and uncertainty made her look like a crazy woman.

On top of that, Valery became also dramatic.

Blue never said anything other than he understands not well English and started to ignore her. They did not play together anymore.

The girl’s patience went blank. Her emotions toward him suffocated her. The ignorance and coldness she felt from him made her act vile and ignorant.

He did that on purpose to not break her heart and to open her eyes to the truth. Blue never loved Valery and never saw her as anything more than a game buddy.

She did not want to see the truth, but her instincts told her it was like this.

Valery became pathetic and stood in silence by his side.

One week ago.

“Hey, I am leaving the game,” told Blue.

“What? Why?” asked Valery.

“I am bored with this game, but I do not have a problem with you,” said calmly Blue.

“But what about us?” asked the girl.

“You are a good friend, and this is not Goodbye,” answered maturely the man.

 “Well, but you plan to leave?” the question was one-sided.

“Yes, for sure.” the serious tone was detected.

“I want to share something with you since you are leaving.” the courage took place in Valery’s words.

“Okay, you always can tell me,” Blue listened, as always.

“Well, it is that I have had romantic feelings for you for a long time.” told the girl.

“But this is just a game,” Blue maybe grinned.

“I know, and I did not finish with the talk,” insisted Valery.

Inconvenient smiling emoji went into the conversation.

After the prolonged monologue, the girl did, Blue sent a short text that he has no problem with her and everything is in her mind.

“You’re a good friend of mine,” – the boy said carefully – “We weren’t lovers before.”

“Okay then, I understand everything,” – Valery was very aggrieved – “I free you from me. See you!”

“Why?” – zoned out Blue when a message for a break of their in-game marriage popped out.

“To free you from me,” said Valery, sad and uncertain.

“Oh My God!” the boy was pissed off.

“See you!” continued the angry girl.

Logging off. That was the worst thing a girl could do. It was dramatic, unmatured, and pitiful.

It was too late to undo it.

One day ago.

Logging in with a burden in her heart, Valery wanted to apologize to Blue at least. He was online, and their in-game bond – was broken by him.

” Why?” zoned out Valery.

“Take care,” answered Blue

“Why did you do this?” the girl almost cried.

“I am leaving here. No need to say more,” a cold and indifferent answer by him.

“I am happy I met you,” continued Valery.

“No one can make you happy,” a sarcastic smile emoji.

“But I acted awful toward you, I am sorry,” Valery tried to excuse herself.

“I do not want to talk anymore,” – stopped her words Blue -“I thank you for everything.”

“I respect your decision and you too.” said the girl.

Silence. It was clear that a clean breakup happened.

“I always will remember you,” finished Valery.

Logging off.

Since then, she never saw him again.

Valery knew she was at fault for this story’s ending.

If she didn’t have expectations, things would never turn out this way.

Feelings put in something that people can’t see or touch, always fade away between the misunderstandings and the non-acquaintance with other’s people language and lifestyles.

The story could be different if she had her emotions under control and did not miss the part when nothing in a virtual world was real.

Blue did the best he could to make the girl not feel pitiful, and he acted like a man who cared about others’ personal feelings maturely.

He may be loved her in his way. But when there are no expressions of someone’s feelings, things go down.

After all, the truth never will be found out.

Blue probably cared for Valery as a friend. Or maybe he loved her but did not have the guts to move toward her, knowing they both will not work out as a couple for various reasons.

“So that is how the breakup looks.” – thought the girl – “I have never been on the side that people broke up with. I did that first. It was a good and painful lesson that I remember always.”

Vivian came running, ringing the bell.

“Come in,” said the girl with tears – “I’ll tell you a story.”

“Okay,” answered the guest – “I bring wine and handkerchiefs.”



In conclusion: Nothing virtual is real. It’s an escape – from friendship to romance. Nobody wants to become seriously committed. That is my reason for not joining online dating sites. People flirt, speak sexually, and ghost others. Even if someone is outstanding, they can not be recognized. The virtual world is like a never-ending ocean filled with more frogs than fish.

However, it’s the future of the dead human hearts. But, until I am alive my try will be to bring back humanity.

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