I Had A Dream – Poem

is about beautiful dreams that give hope for a better new day

In my dream

I received a gift

An antique silver

Necklace from the man

Living next neighborhood

Who I met last year

At the end of June

When I danced at retro

Music I love

We went on a date

He held onto my hand

While saying “We’ll see us again,”

Which never happened

Since that day, I thought

He was my soulmate companion

But the reality checking

And many ignored calls

Showed me the meaning

Of meeting men at the bar

*****

The chemistry was boiling

We danced as we know

Each other from the century

Of “The temple of the king” vow

Which is my favorite

Song whenever I go

Away in the distance

From numerous loves

That made me an illusionist

Who plays her unique show

Without the complimentary crowd

To watch my authentic tricks

Like a neverending let go

Of Someone I treasured

While I am his scarecrow

******

In terms of my sarcastic

Self-laughing soul

I cried a deep river

Then went with the flow

I go back to dreaming

With the ability to grow

While I am dying

Digging in ashes

That miraculous rose me above

Like the Legendary Phoenix

Engraved on a silver coin

I recently, out of curiosity, bought

And it is a beauty

Like my vision while sleep

I had a dream

That gave me a hope

To keep moving

Because my heart will go on

Beyond new horizons

*****

Last night I had a beautiful dream. A man I used to date sent me a gift – silver jewelry and a handwritten letter. From a young age, I am hopeless romantic and preferred paper letters and hand-made gifts. They give me part of the emotions the maker had when creating them. Today I am the same but try to control that weak side of mine because people do not understand romance the same way as before. Retro courtship and dates are something that I long for today but I know it’s challenging to have them. Even so, my hope never goes away thanks to the beautiful dreams I have while sleeping.

Who knows? They may become a reality.

Or Not? – A Poem

Dedicated

To Transmigrators

Phoenix, they say, will rise.

Sometimes it happens. Or not?

I love using metaphor

To escape my emotion of broke

Because I feel lonely

And my heart’s empty

Looking for true love

That is indeed my only

Soul, and nothing above

I lost many friendships

Or should I say I was lost?

Within the life crossroads

Which may break me. Or not?

They only made me stronger

But the power is not hot,

Whenever everyone tells you

You’re powerful. Or not?

That brings me no delight.

In the end, I am alone in the fight

That brings me to ashes

Of never-ending dashes

Until I become acceleration,

And then – transmigration.

*****

It has been a transformative year for me, and my heart healing is not at its fullest. I was strong, rejected, and used as a woman by many males, but kept my cool. Some of these people wanted to be physical with me, others stole my energy to motivate themselves regarding their selfish interests. I do not hate anybody, but the damage I have is still present. Thanks to it, I am who I am today.

Objectively speaking, I am a great woman – assertive, powerful, sexy, and goal-oriented. If there is a need to step back, I do it intelligently, standing on my two feet in everything. Arrogant or not, I back up my words with actions. My masculinity, honor, and dignity are more than that of most men.

Shame on me! I want to be a woman with feminine energy and never imagined how hard would be after so many years of living as a male in every relationship I had.

My well-known confession is that the life movement or cycle is never-ending – rise, soar, and burn down in ashes. Life periods never change, only reactions to the situation make a person who lives now and reflects the past.

The questions are: Are You a Phoenix, Transmigrator, or Fire Extinguisher? And at What price of survival? Or not?

Changes are inevitable and it doesn’t matter how far people run or hide. That is a good reminder to everyone who prefers living uncomfortably in depression, with empty feelings. The void inside could not be filled with material possessions.