Desert’s Wanderers Into Oases

Life’s Sands Leads To Unknown places

It has been a while since I thought about the messages I received by reading “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho and “Love” by Elif Shafak.

Right said, I used to believe I didn’t have much time to read books on paper until I started to travel again to places I had never been before, or I have been, but with a different mindset. Turkey and Dubai are places like that. Every time they are new for me to meet.

The recent course of my life after Finding the mind’s peace proved that living is like wandering in the desert – going to new oases that are already occupied and meeting many snakes, scorpions, or whatever beings people think. Some of them are real, and some are like mirages fading away.

Let’s look at the mirages and realities that have been seen differently by people’s eyes.

The Journey between two people starts unexpectedly because when there are too many expectations, research, analysis, and defending mechanisms, nothing can start.

So, I started my journey with an illusionary person. Both of us laughed, shared, and believed we are on the same road, fighting the bad in the desert to find the oasis.

But is the fight with the worse things real or not?

In my opinion, there is a challenge that I should overcome. Every time I fall, I stand up and move on through the pain, sadness, shattered heart, etc.

On the other side, my illusionary person likes to stay in a worse situation that may be real or not. It is the place he wants to be without a fight. His eyes do not see more than an oasis to rest forever.

But that oasis is so crowded that there is not much place left for more people.

Here comes “The Alchemist” idea for the so-called personal legend. In the book, there is a saying that when people want something too much, the Universe helps them. I am unsure if to agree with that. Because when I wanted something or someone so much, the universe took it away from me.

Or maybe it was not meant to be?

My illusionary person -he doesn’t want someone or something, many things seem different. He did not chase the mirage of what it could be, but he did not know what his legend was also. That person decided to stay comfortable in the first crowded oasis in the desert.

Many people make the comfortable choice for ages. After all, comfort is the easiest way to hell, based on an illusionary paradise for a happy life. I do not blame them. They have their heads on their shoulders to believe, learn or stay in whatever or wherever they feel no resistance and urge to do anything.


But what would be if the mirage is real?

With tears in my eyes and a suffocating feeling, I drank the water of leaving and moved forward.

Before I left the first oasis, another illusionary person joined me because he was betrayed by a close to his heart significant being in the crowded oasis.

Finding a new travel mate was exciting at first. Spending time together was good. I shared my mirages and got attached. I thought it was mutual because the other person talked about his visions too.

Together, with the second illusionary person, we went through two oases. They were crowded and unfriendly.

At the next oasis was a lot of curiosity among the locals because when foreign people come into the picture, the things in the known daily routines become irritating. There is an undeniable truth that states: “Some people’s demons are irritated by others’ success.” It makes the founders of a concrete oasis disrupted.

Changes of any kind create panic reactions in a well-kept pack. Living comfortably and feeding others’ greed has its advantages and disadvantages. People feel like they are kings and queens, forgetting where they started on their journey and how it finished. And when someone new shows up, the balance is lost because there is a thin voice in the head whispering.

“What if they find the mirage I once was looking for?

On the numerous oasis, I went with the illusionary person, saw some mirages fade away, and stepped over the realities misinterpreted. The reasons for misinterpretation were the learned attitudes: “Trust no one” and “Everyone is the same.” Being betrayed, my travel mate understood as much as he knew and decided that is his place to stay until the end of time.

In that place, I learned what unrequited love is. Giving everything to someone, who doesn’t know how to give, and doesn’t want to risk trusting another human. Also, he doesn’t want even to give a chance for the possible affair.

Is that smart, or is it cowardly?

Here, I remembered the situation of Elif Shafak’s “Love” when Shams said that by going to Rumi’s place, he might lose his head. That is the essence of true love that I longed for, seeming unapproachable. Today, it looks the same old and worn way.

In the “Love” book, I loved the interactions between Shams and Rumi. Indeed, The actual love story between nowadays unsure and fearful people was uninteresting.

But how many people can believe by risking their trust and building psychological foundations?

Only a few. Mistrust leads to forced betrayals, and that is a fact that can be proved by many broken relationships when one person has no faith in the other.

My second illusionary person decided to stay in the third oasis because he did not want to be hurt by fully trusting someone else.

With stakes in my heart, I held tighter to my mirage and went after it. At that time nobody joined my journey.

The desert became friendlier to me. That sent me back to “The Alchemist” part when the main character met many betrayals in terms of money, and comfortable proposals, but he moved on to his dream. Meanwhile, the poor and free shepherd learned many things.

Do you know there is a melody from my favorite cellist Hauser that is called “The lonely shepherd“?  

 That shows how is the life of people who pursue their dreams.


Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

 

Wandering into the desert, I saw many lonely hearts. They did not take a step toward me, lost in their thoughts, turning their eyes away from mine.

I know an interesting quote: “Between two people are exactly ten steps. If you do your five and meet no one, go back.” That is the truth in today’s interpersonal relationships.

At first, I was sad about it. Then I started to get friendly with the sand and its creatures. I learned to feel the wind and hear the raindrops, which are rare in the desert.

Raindrops are also the feelings people hide and deny. But that doesn’t change them or root them out.

In every desert storm, I survived with the knowledge I learned from the little creatures that whispered to me.

The solitude makes people more sensitive and opens their hearts toward the small things they didn’t even care to pay attention to.

I continued to look at my mirage that sometimes faded to reappear again. Like the main character in “The alchemist” book, I kept going to the next numerous oasis. The deeper into the desert I went, the oases were not so crowded but still unfriendly.

One day, a desert storm found me somewhere in the unknown, and I got no shelter. Using my imagination and creativity, I built one. It became my safe harbor, but I missed the water. No one was there to bring it, and neither was an oasis close by. Since I was thirsty, I dug a deep hole to collect the water when the rain came. I knew a day or two after the desert storm, rain follows.

From that day, I started to create my oasis with what I had, following my mirage also but always coming back to my home. Because when people have clear goals, they follow them and need a place to recharge.

My favorite scene in “The Alchemist” is when the man meets his true love. The words between them were not many. She said she would be with him in the wind, and storm and would wait for the desert to bring him back to her. I was unsure what does that mean before, but now I know.

Some lovers that are kept within the heart, choose to stay in their oases. Life’s desert never brings them back, or they become wanderers like me in another part of the wilderness

Many travelers in the desert do not stop and stay wanderers until they die or give up.

But people need their oasis, do they not?

Desert wanderers started with a mirage. On their trip, they either lose or find themselves. There is no turning back when something has started. It is a delusion when someone says they can’t go on. There are always at least two choices in a challenging situation.

Why did they start the trip then?

When people choose to stop, they give up or change their mindset h under others’ legends. They become unrecognizable to themselves. They lost their mirage’s traces looking for the oasis’s comfort. It twisted their minds.

The wanderers become an obedient bundle for someone who lost themselves in the mirage they seek and forget its genuine purpose. They might die too from the solitude and never-ending wander into the unknown without settling for a while.

Wanderer’s trip finishes with the oasis they choose. It may be theirs, authorities, or lovers. They may decide to go into the crowded and relaxing place or make their way by traces somewhere else.

Whatever the choice, life’s sand can change and make the desert more colorful, or not.

In the end, the desert is big, and every person’s legend is a treasure that should bring a higher purpose or at least a new experience for the perfect desert world.
So, for today, let’s drink a cup of coffee, tea, or wine while thinking about life and plan the next steps in the wandering journey that should lead somewhere unknown.

 

 

Heart’s memories

Calm sadness to overcome it

July came and with it the second half of the year. I achieved many things, but not even one of these I wanted to make happen this year.

Time is ticking away, and better days will come to me. People start to dig into their situation when the first six months pass.

Summer is the time to love and meet new people, or that is what people say. For me, Summer is equilibrium.

First days of July, I cut ties with four men in my life. For a long time, I stood in negative feelings spirals, and finally, I got the courage to break them free. There is sadness and calmness in my heart and memories that warm my heart when I feel cold.

When people want something new, they should burn the old bridges. Right?

The person’s heart needs to remember only the good because when the negative emotions are bottled inside, that is not the key to moving forward.

But what about the negativity?

It stops people from living. I cleared my emotional luggage with the four men I held on to dear for a long time.

After releasing them in my heart and mind after rational conversations with them, I feel free, and my heart is lighter. I remember only the warmth they all gave me when we were together for years platonically, physically, and daily.

It was not easy for me to let them go, but I stood up on my two feet and decided it was time because my time was flying to stay where I was unwanted.

These men I can connect to my love life periods – spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

The spring.

He was the greatest physical spark I had. We started to write letters on paper when we were teenagers. When we met, it was an enormous attraction we both did not understand and made go further. I suppose he was my soulmate, but we parted ways. It was a romantic breeze that I did not accept, and he did not start anything. Over the years, we met a few times – same spark every time, only different ages.

Last night, we had a two-hour phone call and made clear we will not try to be together ever again. He said we’re too different in our living styles, and there is no point in trying. Maybe we missed our time. Love is abstract when it comes to year gap meetings. I felt calm, sad, and warm. I had the chance to have something like that in my life. It is a good memory I treasure.

The Summer.

I met him this year. We were together online for two months. I ended up because he is not at his age to commit or accept someone else in his life. His work is his lover. That is why everything between us was hot until the end. Love affirmations, deep talks, and feelings, but from the beginning, I knew we will not last long. He is too ambitious and forgets what having a partner outside the business is.

As a successful and hard-working man, he will always choose his job. Something I maybe can’t relate to. He even wanted me to become his business student to teach me how to invest. I did not want to learn investing at the moment, and I stated my opinion that turned him off.
And with his sexy outlook, many beautiful women will be around him since he falls in love fast.

So, I tried last two weeks to contact him to find out he ghosted me. He is with the next girl. I cut off with a painful chest this summertime romance, but I have warm feelings for the connection we built. He is an incredible example of a man that started from zero and became successful in his work. It was a good experience for me to be around that type of guy to understand better how his mind works.

Photo by ANTONI SHKRABA production on Pexels.com

The Autumn.

I am sad for that boy because he was sincere but younger by many years than me – in his springtime. I was a believer before the age in love feelings do not matter, but I am not sure about that anymore.

We started to speak one month ago. It was funny, flirty, and innocent. I enjoyed conversations with him as I would enjoy speaking with a younger brother. Almost every day, he looked for me to talk to. He was bored at first, then interested and hinted he wanted something more of our texting. His youthful way of courting gave me a lot of joy, but I kept my ground as a mature woman. I do not want to ruin his life. Since I saw him as a sibling, I gave my full support and shared my thoughts. We were similar and with the same philosophies for life at some points. But, when he started to speak about the eventual future together in another country, I told him no.

As a single mom, I need to organize many things before going somewhere and starting anew. I should manage time, activities, work, school, and grocery shopping. For that, I need a stable partner that manages his life, not a son I teach how to handle different and complicated situations in complex living circumstances. I may be am not right, but my feelings said no. He was heartbroken after I rejected him.

But, it was for his better life – he will find a great girl and have a family.

Everyone deserves true love and admiration in a heartfelt way.

The Winter.

That one was my summer lover once – a younger person, perfect companion, and higher understanding. He is the example of the man all women want – a caring, hard-working, family-oriented, lovemaking partner that helps with home chores. He prefers to stay single and use the women for his fun, though, waiting for “The Perfect One”. It may happen, or it may not in his lifetime. But he has every right and ability to live that way because he always will be desired by many women.

Last year, we were together for four months, and I couldn’t forget him eight months after our breakup. Everything back then was deep, stable, sensual, and almost perfect, except he did not know how to love another person. He became my feelings for winter because, after him, I turned to IceCube in my heart which is closed now. With him, my emotional winter came until I cut ties with him. Maybe my iced bottled heart will melt.

He and I met online, and we were lonely. That made us closer and living in the delusion we have feelings toward each other. Indeed, I had them, and he only looked for fun. The amusing thing was I knew it all along. Even so, I used to believe that love conquers everything. Now I know it is not like that, and I am self-aware. We talked daily for hours and built a strong, unbreakable bond I always wanted to have. And I still do, but my heart is currently closed, and no hero will come and open it because I am in a different age of romance.

I tried to keep the connection one-sided for a very long time, and the reply I got from the winter guy was “he is busy” flirting with the next woman. He used me for my pictures and maybe used them for free porn or something. Men like him usually look for free sex online. I finally found the courage in July to cut him off. My heart is not painful anymore. I am grateful I had the opportunity to feel love like that. It proved I am right to think true love is usually unrequited.

I am not sure why younger men are attracted to me. Maybe it is my energy or because I care for my outlook. It doesn’t matter anymore because I keep taking care of my appearance. Women are beautiful at all ages. They should care for themselves because no one else will.

After summarizing in my head my negative spirals, I can appoint the pros and cons of cutting ties for the best heart’s memories.

PROS: Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem, Self-Growth, Personal Development, Maturity, Self-Love, Knowing People Better, Understanding What The Heart Wants, Feeling Enlightened, Calmness, Moving On, Gratefulness, Good Memories, and Living at Fullest.

CONS: Pain, Sadness, Closed Heart, Broken In Pieces, Loneliness, Trust Issues, Fear of Rejection, Indecision, Running Away From Living, Digging Into The Routine, and Betrayal.

These feelings make human life whole and worth living in terms of rebuilding and becoming a better version of oneself. Whatever happens, people should keep going because life is the only one to waste time in negativity.

 

 

 

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