The Vibrator Of Inhuman Treatment

Inhuman Treatment

The Vibrator Of Inhuman Treatment


Hidden in informal stalking.

Today I am in a bad mood. Since there is no one around physically to listen to me, I will write it down. Usually, people are busy when I need them, and for those, who are not, my preference is to spare their minds peace.

I have always dreamed of someone to read between my silence and harsh words. But, at the same time, I keep them away because of my habit to go through everything alone. It’s a challenge for me to learn how to receive support.

Until today, I haven’t met the hero who breaks my silence walls, so I play my writing superhuman. And I will not beg for attention.

Tonight while I drink my whiskey, thinking about two topics of my recent and disappointing experience: The Vibrator before Lover and The Inhuman Treatment At The Office. To read, or not is up to the readers. I am fed up with fulfilling others’ expectations of me in writing, life, etc., and my current blogger’s reputation is foggy, and it has been a long road.

The Vibrator Before Lover

It’s been a while since I have written about why women deserved red lipstick. My surprise was to find out my post was loved by the male auditory, and the women didn’t understand what I wrote.

I have many male friends because they do not see me as anything more than a buddy. That has been my life’s trend for fifteen years and is the norm for me. A friend of mine told me when I had my breakup last year, he hopes that I was feeling good with a one-night stand or however I satisfy my physical needs. His exact words were: The original is better than the vibrator,” but for a year I haven’t found an original.

I am not good with one-night stands because for someone to go inside my body, he should captivate my brain.

I am uncertain what is wrong with males today, but those I met last year, were boys, who run away from responsibility. The cult Supernatural Rowena’s quote: “Hello Boys!” fits perfectly for my romantic experience recently.

The other group of males I met, was masculine and flirty, living on their own for so long that they forgot how to courtship women.

Or should I say a woman like me?

Sometimes I feel like cursed because it’s an unwritten rule that intelligent women are not loved by men. On the other side,  the beautiful and stupid girls are followed non-stop.

Even if I sound discouraged, and probably males will think I miss the sexual experience, I dare to say men have no taste in female lovers nowadays.

They “have no time,” look for “someone younger and beautiful,” or “have no will to care for other’s drama, including their woman.” The men’s standards are high, but the return receipt is not seen in its true colors.

Or maybe I am wrong? I hope so.

The men long for a real woman – feminine, smart, well-groomed, caring, emotional, etc., but when they meet one, they run away from rejection fear, or because she is older, and has a child. It seems I am not their woman, so my wish to these males is to find the right one for them.

 I accepted my reality as a single mom, doing my best for me and my daughter to live better.

The thoughts above are my reasons why I will choose my vibrator until a man dares to flirt with me, accepting me as I am with my child. There is no hope, for now, to meet someone boldly doing that, but it’s not the most important thing in my small world.

People say: “No risk, no Gain,” and maybe they’re right. That is in every life field, including relationships.

The Inhuman Treatment in Office.

I am unsure how is in other countries, but in mine, the employees hired by the government should be people-pleasers and liars who backstab their colleagues in the name of money. They succeed and earn big for that, giving the inhuman treatment in the office, and a new vanity upgrade.

The treatment is usually gossiping or saying things everyone wants to hear. People who are not a part of the crowd are uncomfortable and treated badly.

However, I want to share my experience with that.

Last week, my child was sick and got better on the third day of homestay.  I posted on Facebook a picture of us without a purpose for anything. Coming back to work on Monday, I have been blamed for my homestay being illegal. I was said that people from higher places will come to check my list for missing work.

Officially, I have documents to prove my stay at home. My boss told me I need to write an apology because I posted on my Facebook public profile pictures while I haven’t been at work. It was a paradoxical situation.

I wrote my opinion regarding the matter, using as a basis the text of the European Convention on Human Rights. I won the debate, but the problem is about human principles and morals.

It’s a proven fact that when bosses want to fire an employee, they use every possible insult to do so. I am still at work but got a lawyer because I will defend my human rights one way or another.

Until today, the question of my Facebook profile is still discussed, which is funny. It proves people are bored and lazy to work. They do not do anything else outside checking social media. It wasn’t an unexpected situation because I always speak my truth which is not good to hear.

But, I am surprised by how low can my colleagues and people, in general, go. Every time I face a situation like that in my professional or personal life is an insult.

Sadly, the inhuman treatment at the office is still happening. I am ashamed to call myself a human sometimes. It would be better if I was a cat.

In many countries, people have the choice to leave their unfulfilling jobs, but in Bulgaria is not like that, or at least for me at the moment, because the child needs financial security. However, I keep trying to do my best, leave that sad, boring job, and soar. I know it will take time, but my power is my will, and never give up before the challenges. The first step is always the hardest.

So, What is the commonality between the Vibrator and The informal Treatment?

Both insult human personalities and make people become hermits. It’s the way the world spins around, and until minds don’t change, it will be like that.

The rejection from a potential love interest and the office’s inhuman treatment are alike in terms they shatter the human heart. It takes time to rebuild, but it’s better for people to take months or years to reconstruct themselves from the challenges than staying in a depression hole, filled with darkness, apathy, and fears. Challenges are the factors that build confidence and a continuous fighting spirit.

Ending up alone, single, or jobless is not scary, but sitting in heart’s ruins without hope’s light is.

Another common trait between Vibrator and the Informal Office’s treatment is the lack of originals – men and leaders who inspire others. Probably, from a male’s point of view, the same goes for women. The truth is simple: partners should give equal attention, communication, and love to each other, and the employees should receive what they work for at the office.

That is for regular daily work hours jobs. When it comes to some careers,  leadership receives another meaning, and it consists of many skills, human attitudes, and sincere interest toward the team members. Building a strong and healthy team happens with human treatment. Someday I will dig into that too since I live in my blog. 🙂

“Freedom, Sancho, is one of the most precious gifts that heaven has bestowed upon men; no treasures that the earth holds buried or the sea conceals can compare with it” is my favorite quote from “Don Quixote” book I love and use as my life pattern.

Thank you for reading, and remember that even if that is only me, I believe in all my readers because I have been in situations when no one believed in me.

P.S – I will do choreography on that song soon.

Summer Rain And Romance’s Survival State

Summer Rain And Romance

Summer Rain And Romance’s Survival State


Taking Place in Surreal Mind’s World.

On Friday, I should attend an event called “A Glass of Wine and Painting,” organized at one of my favorite art cafes in my current sea town’s living place. Unfortunately, I could not go for reasons outside my control and was sad about it.

I took my old painting brush, and drew on my kid’s sketchbook similar to the event romance couple’s picture, without an umbrella. I am a retro girl in life, after all, with hopeless romanticism.

In my teenage, I used to paint and had a dream to own a gallery. I got bored with what I drew and with time my painting’s ideas faded away.

After that, I watched Japanese Animation and wanted to become an animator. When I installed Corel Draw and 3D Studio max, I found out that I lack certain thinking and became bored of my unfruitful tries to draw what I see in my head.

I left the painting idea and started to write. Words made me put my thoughts and ideas easily on paper. The paintings I wanted to draw, were bright in my head, and I couldn’t catch or draw them down.

When I started to write, things I imagined became organized, but my imagination sometimes runs wild as Summer rain.

As always, I seek shelter for my thinking about various topics on the blog. While I listen to nostalgic music because it fits my current mood and Mercury retrograde, my past romantic memories took my hand to go down the memory line.

I wonder why people want romance as in the movies, and when an opportunity arises, they run away. It happens unexpectedly, seldom, and slips through the fingers of time, and daily routines. If people are coupled, they expect to walk away and not cheat. I can’t qualify as wrong or not, because it’s a personal choice.

When people are single, they receive something like thunder’s speed to run away from the love opportunity.

Today, I sit and think while drinking my afternoon coffee why do single people avoid others like them, without even being given a chance?

Currently, I am in a similar and weird situation, so I will speak my mind about that topic to whoever is interested.

The reasons that come to my mind are the meaning of loneliness, unwillingness to give up personal space, and egoism.

The meaning of Loneliness in Summer Rain

Looking back at the picture I wanted to draw on Friday, I wanted to escape my loneliness, which is currently unhealthy. Maybe it’s for good I did not attend the painting event. Creating that romantic picture, I could start crying because a lot of emotions are running through me at the moment.

I almost started to fall in love with a man, but my heart shouldn’t do it. I took out my logic gun, metaphorically speaking, and killed that expectation feeling. My past romances needed a lot of recovery time. Starting something with insecure in his feelings person, or as a “Friend with benefits” stupid situation is not my cup of tea.

When in a relationship, I always give everything and there is no half-love on my end.

In that way of thinking, I believe it’s better to keep my loneliness because it’s only mine. I do not need someone else solitary too. Two-side ticket to the blues is preferable to a one-way destination to heartache for a long time. Surely, many other single people think like that, which explains the meaning of healthy loneliness. Based on the picture I shared, I will take that man’s kiss in my mind, take my umbrella, and move on.

Unwillingness to give Personal Space is a Romance’s Survival State

Everyone wants “me-time,” but sometimes people get addicted to it, and can not imagine giving it up to share space with someone else.  That is the main reason many single humans register on dating sites.  It’s easier to sit at home, watching from afar potential lovers, and ghosting them anytime. I have been registered on online dating sites and received hundreds of pointless messages. At some point, reading them became irritating for me. At the moment, I have over 200 messages from unknown men online, which I do not plan to read. Checking that communication is not my priority.

Going out trying to seduce someone is not modern these days. That is one of the reasons I call myself a retro girl or old-school because I believe courtship happens only physically, or at least with a phone or video calls. I say that when a man wants me, he should come directly to me and say what he wants because my sloppiness in heart matters is legendary. Most women are like me, but they refuse it even for themselves. Man’s boldness always will be trendy.

Right said, I also can’t imagine sharing my home with another person because I am afraid I may screw everything with my difficult-to-be-loved character. My belief is people should go in two through life, and that hopes should not stay mirages. Anyways, that is not about my personality post.

Objectively speaking, when people live alone for a long time, they forget what to do with someone else.

They stop trying to attract a potential partner with actions or words because the personal space becomes a sanctuary, but sacred places are not frequent places to visit. People start to think they are good enough in their company and space, going only for their physical needs.

Nowadays, it’s easier to find a one-night stand without engagements. Almost no one wants commitment and devotion to another person. I always joke I may go with AI /Artificial Intelligence/ Boyfriend purchase sometime in the future. The sad part is many other single people think like me, which also explains the Romance Survival State doubts.

Egoism when there is Summer Rain and Romance’s Survival State

Last decades, people say they’re egoistic, or claim someone else is like that. Egoism is mistaken for setting boundaries, taking care of another human, pet, or child, and the lack of teamwork in any life field.

The egoist word became an insult, and there is a reason for it. Egoism and setting boundaries are not the same, and a lack of teamwork leads to nothing better than individual perfection in a job that needs two or more people.

Pure Egoism is a variety of theories, but regarding Romance, the topic sums to “I do not care about your needs, but only mine” or the lack of flexibility to compromise. People become egoists with time when they’re left by someone they loved deeply. 

There are two ways to keep going after someone close to your heart dumb you: “Forever on my own because I am afraid to be heartbroken,” or “I try again, knowing nothing is secure but putting my best when in a relationship.”

Both paths are egoistical because everyone wants to satisfy their needs, but when not risking being with someone else on a deeper level, a feeling of emptiness remains forever. On the other side, trying again brings out the best in a person who wants to keep a relationship. It gives new experiences and unknown feelings. It’s like opening the eyes to another you as one of my favorite bands Metallica sings.

Romance’s Survival State

Today’s challenging to be romantic or people claim you as mad. Pragmatism took over every feeling. Even so, emotions hide in people’s hearts. There is a proven fact that logic may go a long way in life, but a surpressed feeling leads to waking up from the coffin of disappointments, known patterns, hormonal disbalance, and craziness when falling in love which is inevitable.

There was an interesting thought I found on Quora while I wrote there. By memory, I’m paraphrasing it: “Heart tells you what you do when logic gives up.”

Romance’s Survival State is closer to the body’s survival mode than people want to accept. Without romantic or idealistic emotions in every life situation, being alive would be boring as the zombie or robotic movies everyone watches nowadays. Waking up without a goal or motivation is like staying dead in an alive body.

Do you want to be a robot or a zombie?

 Summer rain is better experienced when there are two under one umbrella. The romance survives only when people drop the act of independent, solitary heroes that need no one to be with, even for the sparing or silent company. A kiss feeling is always better than looking at the kissing couple painting.

In my opinion, Romance will survive in the next few years, because many people want that without admitting it.
Is it not better to accept the romantic moods than to put them aside, feeling unhappy?


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