Steps Backward – Poem

Steps Backward - Poem

Steps Backward – Poem

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Dedicated to the past wounds that today’s healing

 

I made two steps forward

Then four steps backward

The moment I opened

My tightly closed heart,

I met indifference

Or maybe it was polite talk?

Today it doesn’t matter

I understood that I seem far

Into another universe

Of oceans apart

These big parallels

 Have made me step backward

I think it is obvious

From platonic discourse

That I should continue

Doing my steps backward

Because there is a saying

Between two persons

There are ten steps in the diapasons

When the one doing the five

But the other fearfully hides,

The actor should move on,

But with steps backward

******

I have written that poem back in April 2022. My heart’s healing was still between the past and present of my life then.

Why April?

 It was spring, the fourth month of the year, and the beginning of a change for me in many personal departments. They were exactly four: worsened health, a fated lover, a new career idea, and refined driving skills. Today I was reminded about April because I found out about my driving violations in the same month and number. Based on numerology, the number 4 means a realistic view of life.

Taking a look at me now, I see my lack of practical life vision.

The interesting fact is my life changed a lot. The people who I attracted to myself in the last year are practical, stable, conservative, and realistic. It seems my feminine energy changed for good. I still don’t understand how that happened, but my intuition is rarely wrong.

What’s the point of Steps Backward?

These steps help to rethink many situations and see the signs of something that is working or not. For me, today made me remember how far I came, and how to walk further. It’s a long road that my eyes do not see yet. The reminder I got with the penalty slips is a clear sign I should look back and burn old foundations to open myself up for something new after paying my debts in finance and karma, of course.

What is Your Point of View About The Steps Backward?

Calming Sadness Opens A New Road Ahead

Calming Sadness opens New road

Calming Sadness Opens A New Road Ahead

Because

Every Rose Has Thorns

Sitting in today’s solitude and calming sadness, I think about my new road ahead.

I believe there are times in people’s lives when they overcome every past pain and start to look for a  path from now on.

It has been a long and loveless year. I used to have someone by my side back in 2021. It doesn’t hurt anymore in the way it did before. Times changed and I accepted my thorns. There is a song I love to listen to when times are challenging – “Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain.”

Indeed, the reality is like that, but people understand it later on in their lives.

While I suppressed my emotions back in time, going from one relationship to another, in 2022, I stopped, growing strong as never before. There is a truth that after a breakup, the wisest choice to heal is singlehood.  I am fully healed today, and that boosts my energy, helping me to find a new life’s path ahead.

I used to cry a lot, feeling every bad memory with my soul’s fibers but keeping myself busy at all costs. That saved my life from depression. I fell apart in my heart, but that way I recollect the pieces of it, creating a beautiful monument. The sadness was my main calmer and motivator that kept me going out of the heartache’s endless maze.

Today, I am careful who will look or touch my monument because I am not the easy and lonely prey anymore.

Calming Sadness

The beginning of Autumn starts with nostalgia summer. For me, October brought health problems for my loved people. The sadness I hid for a while, came back to me with full force.

A person’s heart has its limits and no more fighting power left. Distracted from the outside world, my tears and creative writing, in that phase, healed me from past sorrow.  I am grateful they did, and I recommend when people want to cry, do it because where a tear falls, a light arises.

Sadness is not a negative emotion. It reminds people they are mortal humans who should accept the situations as they are and move on.

When nervous, people are not in their right minds and if the relaxation doesn’t help, tears do. Suppressed feelings come out easily through sadness, and there is the survival need to cry or channel energy into something that may cause weeping. When emotions are released, the human heart finds freedom of expression, which is one step closer to a reborn and authentic self.

A New Road Ahead

There is a saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” but I paraphrase it as “The road to heaven is paved with bad experiences.”

Wisemen often speak about personal paradise through the mind’s peace and self-acceptance. Not many wise people talk about the motivation to look for the earthly Eden in the human body. Coaches always speak neutrally about the individual.

Life’s road is indeed personal. It’s an unrealistic fact that people, who make out-of-box choices fail because they achieve their goals slower. Comfortable roads are not for everyone.

When the sadness goes away, there is nothing else to do outside accepting the new situation. People are learning daily from their emotions, mistakes, and unforeseen choices’ consequences. Running away from thinking about the results of concrete actions doesn’t help to grow and mature. Accepting them before stepping on a new life road is a must. It’s good to have a reserve plan too.

Every Rose Has Thorns

Red roses are my favorite flowers. I prefer to watch them in the garden, not in a vase because they die there as I will if I stay in the daily routines for longer than needed.

When I was younger, my father put five rose seeds in the house’s garden. Today, the roses are still there, prettier than before. The reason for their beauty is their thorns which protect them from outside invasions. The same goes for people – if they are not grown well or without their not-so-good habits, they will become as beautiful as a dead rose in a vase.

One person should be accepted with all the faults and be taken care of to grow healthy but without cutting the thorns. They are part of the charming aura humans have. Without flaws, a person is not a whole. When someone is in love, they should love their partner’s dark sides and be aware of them well.

Do you love your darkness and accept it? 

If yes, you will love your fated person too. The negative reply will unravel a lot of people’s lack of ability to build healthy relationships with life’s roses. That is well-explained in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry‘s “The Little Prince” novel. Reading it at least three times in life is necessary to understand the beauty of living – as a child, an adult, and an elder.

Calming Sadness is the purest human emotion, which opens eyes and shows a New road, choice, or improvement ahead.

Thank you for reading, and as a background to listen to, and think about, I recommend that playlist.

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