“No One Sees Me But The Silver Moon”

March 18, 2023March 19, 2023 by Stranded

“No One Sees Me But The Silver Moon”

is an excellent explanation for today’s lack of human relationships of any kind.

While I drove my car today, I listened deeper to Enrique Iglesias’s “Tired of Being Sorry”‘s lyrics. Yesterday I was on a challenging client’s visitation and my car got stuck in the mud. I was afraid to move out of it and asked the client as a man to help me out. Later in the evening, I felt very tired of everything in my life recently. All the work in professional and personal life that goes unnoticed, the lack of human contacts, etc.

However, after a few lonely tears dropped down my tired face, I went to sleep.

Insomnia was always my life’s companion and that night was no exception. Looking at the moon and thinking about nobody sees me outside Luna, I decided to watch it a bit more. Then I realized how “Tired Of Being Sorry” kept me going until now in my life.

Every time in business and other relationships I was the one to apologize and make amends. It’s good to do it once in a while, but every time to make some relationship to work is unhealthy and one-sided. It’s a fact that tango takes two.

“When the rest of the world With whom I’ve crossed and I’ve quarreled” is a silent cry from a lonely heart to others, seeking a safe place in someone’s arms.

Unfortunately, that rarely happens nowadays, based on my experience. I envy in a good way to everyone who has shoulders to hug and hide from the daily harshness. In my case that is given only to my child. As for me, it seems I should embrace my loneliness fully.

The most mistakes I made in my past relationships were because I was utterly lonely, feeling insecure and unvalued. Most men I was involved with saw right through my eyes and ran away. So, yes, my saying to them is like in that song: “Maybe you were right, but baby, I was lonely.”

Would I run away if I was in the same situation?

No, because I like to support and inspire my close-to-heart people, and never run away when times are challenging. That is proof of genuine care. But that is unappreciated because other things in men’s eyes seem more important—outlooks, obedience, and a feeling of peace when with someone despite everything.

My belief is men should care emotionally, sexually, and financially for their women. The same goes for females. Gentlemen should be loyal to the ladies they chose to be theirs. Together both partners can build something bigger than individual interests and satisfaction. I offered that to my past lovers and will do it with future ones, so I am tired of being sorry for the way I am. It’s better to stay single than go for less than what I give in terms of emotions, understanding, and sharing the burden and happiness with the one I will love someday. Of course, mutual feelings are a must.

In one relationship the partners should feel appreciated, respected, and genuinely loved through words and actions.

“For a thousand reasons that I know to share forever the unrest with all the demons I possess beneath the silver moon” sounds like a pure will for someone to be accepted with their dark sides. Not many people like others’ bad days but that’s the essence of a successful love story. Unfortunately, romances break down the moment when a dark side is shown.

For example, I wasn’t respected when in a bad mood. In these moments my sensitivity, sarcasm, and heart walls show up, seeming unbreakable but the truth is I hope my partner stays brave and keeps going with me.

Exactly then the thread between me and a lover was cut because he didn’t try to go through and see my true feelings. My thought is the darkest hours in someone’s life and having then someone by their side is the most sincere love confession. I have felt it only by the silver moon outside.

The men I have been with couldn’t go through my wall to not hurt themselves.

The worst was they didn’t want to understand my reasons or be compassionate with my pain. As for me, I went to the darkest places in my men’s heads and wasn’t scared. It was the opposite. I felt proud they let me there but when they saw my blackness, males started to fear me.

My principle is in good or worse to choose always my man. But I was never chosen by them. Maybe they didn’t know how to react and didn’t even try to do it.

“Eighth and Ocean Drive With all the vampires and their brides We’re all bloodless and blind And longing for a life Beyond the silver moon” seems similar to another well-explained word for humans who make themselves asleep.

Truth under the silver moon is not pretty today.

People are like ghosts who dance alone behind closed doors to the outside world. They are living in the day their unfulfilling lives.

Yes, I know many human beings but they act like energy vampires who care only for themselves. It made me feel sorry for how mind-narrowed they are or guilty for something I did, being myself. No, I am not arrogant, but an open mind and a closed one make a big difference in energy levels and positivity.

Sooner or later, a positive attitude will attract the same. It’s how the Universe works.

“I’m standing in the street Crying out for you”is the sentence I felt many years ago and just recently, stopped standing and shedding tears for the wrong men. I am unsure why my attraction was to unavailable people but my feelings now are clear, my heart healed and my mind in peace. That happened after two years of self-development and overthinking the situations until I accepted them as they are. Some things can’t be changed as one of my best friends said: “Only God knows what will happen because he wrote it already.”

“So far away – so outer space I’ve trashed myself – I’ve lost my way I’ve got to get to you got to get to you,” is about the limit people put on themselves when they create illusions in their minds for a relationship or another person’s image. That mindset makes humans forget they also have individual needs for attention and respect, which are mandatory in every life relationship. Becoming trash by self-choice is exactly like a mental illness treated by a psychiatrist. That can be avoided with proper sharing and objective thinking about the real situation of a romance, friendship, etc.

“No one sees me But the silver moon” still is a powerful theme for me because right said, I don’t like to be the center of attention and prefer staying in the dark shadows than in bright spotlights. I went through everything until now alone because my will to not look weak is powerful and also I take care of my chaotic emotions better when no one is around. It’s not about mistrust but more like a routine that maybe I should change.

One of my fears is to be seen as a weakling and only the silver moon keeps safe my secret.

And What About You?

Loneliness Is Inspiration

November 3, 2022June 4, 2021 by Stranded

Loneliness Is Inspiration

Because

Solitude Gives Birth To Creation

In today’s world, many people are lonely. Some feel bad about it, others take it as a lesson, and third, make it their inspiration.
I am from the third group.

In my life, I used to be lonely. I am still like this, but the difference is that after so many rejections and betrayals, I choose to stay this way. Sometimes it is better to be a lone wolf.

Feelings are too fragile and can hurt people easily. But thanks to them, people become stronger.

From a young age, I was a loner. I have never perceived myself as a pretty girl or a beautiful woman for the boys and men. Or I may have been so cold and distant-looking. I am not sure about this.

Years have gone by, and I began to see it as typical as I walk on the road daily.
I cried a lot at the beginning of that. It was in my teenage.
Then I began to look at myself in the mirror and chin up with new power to create and write. The pain of rejection became my greatest inspiration.
I think nobody should sit and cry if there is a rejection by others. It is always better to feel the pain of being alive and dumped than to stay dead in the heart.

Why do I find this new kind of inspiration?

Well, there are things and feelings we can not change. Some people will not accept, like, or love us. But that is because the problem is in them and their feelings.
When between two persons is not chemistry and I speak about emotional one, there is no hope the feelings to be shared. The situation will become worse with time. Until the point when two people neglect themselves so much, that they even can’t stand each other.

Inspiration is to look deeper into the reasons why you got rejected.

f the problem is in your insecurity, you should fix it. But if the problem is unmet expectations toward yourself, then it is not yours.

The first time I got rejected was when I was on 11 years. There was a time I felt in the purest childish love. It was my first love. When I got dumped, I felt broken and depressed. I had so many negative emotions I couldn’t accept, and I thought I do not survive after them. But I overcame them, and I started to write poetry. My grandmother helped me with the paragraphs, and when I read what I have written, I was amazed. That made me realize I have some talent to write. I thought I am useless till then.

This experience can be called the start of my writing career.

After this, I continued to get rejections one after another. But I felt good and free because every time I confessed my feelings to different boys, I became more direct and more immune to rejections.
I wrote an online poem, then a book, and I saw my progress as a writer. In my teenage, I already got 2 poetry books in Bulgarian.

My last year at school was not good, and I got another rejection by my classmate, who said I am too ugly for him and bullied me before other boys’ eyes. This made me feel ugly, but then I was motivated to change my look and prove I am not ugly. I succeeded in this.
When we finished school, I decided to not have any boyfriends at all. I looked good, and I wrote great.
The classmate who rejected me wanted us to become a couple on our prom, but this time I dumped him. Well, all was just a flirt for him, and he found a one-night stand.

This was my school story.

When I turned eighteen, I met my first love again. We were more mature, and things between us went too fast. In just a few months, we become an official couple.
Then I stopped writing. It was because I loved my boyfriend so much, and I just forgot about my inspiration.
With time things between us began to fall apart. My boy was obsessed and jealous of me, and I am a free spirit.
This led to our break couldn’t overcome it for years.

Then I found my inspiration in loneliness and self-pity again.

Today I still love this boy, and I remember Nick with good, but I know we were not meant to be.

After I was again a loner, I decided to write short stories. They were so emotional that my friends cried when they read them. I was proud again that I did not forget to write.
Until I graduated from the university, I continued to write short stories. I have read a lot of fantasy books, and I wrote this genre.

Then I made a blog in Bulgarian with my works of Creation.

After graduation, I had plenty of time before finding a stable job. The real-life hit me hard. I went on around 200 job interviews, and only 5 employers were interested in me.

My writing muse ended.

At twenty-five years, I met my current boyfriend. We wrote for a long time together in a role-playing world called Marion. I am proud of our job together.
Then I moved from my hometown to the town where I live currently. I lost my will to write until I adaption to the new place and job. But you know, I am glad I moved here. I went on 2 personal development courses, and I freed myself from expectations.

My life is filled with ups and downs, but I always was saved by my poetry and prose writing in Solitude.

I searched for inspiration in every little thing that happened to me. For the things that did not happen in my life, I just create them in my mind with the eventual outcomes, and I write them down. This is how my recent poetry books were born.
Now I am broken in my heart again, but I see this not as a piece of bad luck but as something that makes me wiser. This is something precious that inspires me to write and share more.
I want to tell you that being lonely is not a bad thing. It is an emotion that makes you search for the reasons deep in your heart.
Inspire yourself with a different point of view.