is about beautiful dreams that give hope for a better new day
In my dream
I received a gift
An antique silver
Necklace from the man
Living next neighborhood
Who I met last year
At the end of June
When I danced at retro
Music I love
We went on a date
He held onto my hand
While saying “We’ll see us again,”
Which never happened
Since that day, I thought
He was my soulmate companion
But the reality checking
And many ignored calls
Showed me the meaning
Of meeting men at the bar
*****
The chemistry was boiling
We danced as we know
Each other from the century
Of “The temple of the king” vow
Which is my favorite
Song whenever I go
Away in the distance
From numerous loves
That made me an illusionist
Who plays her unique show
Without the complimentary crowd
To watch my authentic tricks
Like a neverending let go
Of Someone I treasured
While I am his scarecrow
******
In terms of my sarcastic
Self-laughing soul
I cried a deep river
Then went with the flow
I go back to dreaming
With the ability to grow
While I am dying
Digging in ashes
That miraculous rose me above
Like the Legendary Phoenix
Engraved on a silver coin
I recently, out of curiosity, bought
And it is a beauty
Like my vision while sleep
I had a dream
That gave me a hope
To keep moving
Because my heart will go on
Beyond new horizons
*****
Last night I had a beautiful dream. A man I used to date sent me a gift – silver jewelry and a handwritten letter. From a young age, I am hopeless romantic and preferred paper letters and hand-made gifts. They give me part of the emotions the maker had when creating them. Today I am the same but try to control that weak side of mine because people do not understand romance the same way as before. Retro courtship and dates are something that I long for today but I know it’s challenging to have them. Even so, my hope never goes away thanks to the beautiful dreams I have while sleeping.
Another escape from reality that proves nobody changes.
Once upon a time, there was a place called Araf. Nowadays, no one knows what happened to it in reality. This place was full of beautiful starlight, pristine waterfalls, and endless green fields. Many fairies lived in Araf. They wielded the legend about the world’s creation.
The fairies said that Two beasts lived in the galaxy field called Endless. The two bears lived alone in the void and fell in love.
The white beast’s name was In, and the black beast’s name was Out. Both spent much time together, and their cosmic energies built Araf. The bests put four roses to guard the peace – Black, White, Yellow, and Pink to keep the world safe. The two beasts held their paws and created the Balance.
With time roses grew and became separated regions. Their blossom created different fairies that lived in diverse areas. Black fairies collected dark energy, white-white, pink-pink, and yellow-yellow.
When all fairies collected the energies, they brought them to the core between the roses – where the two beasts held hands for eternity.
But, when the cosmic force was too much, In and Out separated, and the fairies moved between rose regions. When moving to another distinct, the fairy became different, and it took a lot to return to its core.
Massive energy broke the equilibrium between the rose’s regions. One white fairy, called Lion, and the Black fairy Zara, changed their districts. Zara found herself in the White region while Lion was in the black one.
Both were awkward and went to bad roads for their inside-known paths.
Lion collected dark energy and enjoyed it because it brought his dark side. Zara was always lethargic and contained white vigor because she did not know how to channel this energy. Slowly, both fairies changed so much and did so many untypical things that made them fall deep into the abyss in which stood the beasts In and Out.
Looking for an exit, they met each other. Lion glared fiercely at Zara. Once his glare was kind and innocent, but now after changing places, his eyes become black from the deeds he has done. Zara knew well the fierce and furious feelings. She could not accept it as usual because her energy was unusual.
– Where are you going, lonely girl? – grinned Lion, ready to fight
– I am going To the beasts. I want to go back to my place – answered Zara – But, you see, this glare doesn’t suit you, confused boy. You know nothing about it.
– Do you try to make a fool of me, little girl? -asked Lion
– I will not waste more time with you – coldly answered Zara – Do you want to go together to the beasts to go back to our original places or not?
– How do you know I am not an original black fairy?- surprised asked Lion
– You are too good to be one, boy. Look at my eyes – they are grey and empty. That is the look of a black fairy. – replied Zara – You only have black eyes that are temporarily colored. You can not make me drown in darkness as I used to do before this stupid change.
– Are you making fun of me, confused girl? – Angrily asked the boy.
– No, handsome, but we have no time because the next new moon is in 2 days – we need to go fast to the beasts. We have no time to talk.
Zara demonstrative moved around Lion and continued forward. Lion wanted to say something, but he did not know what to say – that woman made him lose his words. The determination and bravery she has had were so unreal. He just stood and watched her in respect. After that, he followed Zara, because he analyzed that there was no time to quarrel.
Both fairies moved in silence. They moved into empty, cold, and too different from their regions.
The boy Lion broke the silence first.
– So, you are initially a black fairy?
– Yes. I love the darkness – it makes stars clearer to see.
– I have not seen the darkness and the stars so many times, but they are indeed beautiful – told Lion – I think the sun is the most beautiful thing in heaven I see every morning.
– Yes, it is really beautiful to see the sun, but I think the moon is also beautiful because it shows the dark side we all have. – answered Zara. – What is your name, boy?
– Oh, yes, I am Lion, and you, little girl? -asked Lion, a bit smiling at the weird dialogue
– Zara.
Both continued to walk in silence. Lion as a former white fairy liked to check out the pixie women. But now he couldn’t take his eyes off Zara. She was mysterious and moved so gracefully as he saw the moon in the night sky. She seemed different and attracted him like a moth to the flame.
Zara did not understand the romantic glares. She did not have any idea that Lion was checking her out. But when Lion closed his eyes the first night they had to spend in the inner core of the abyss, Zara spent some time checking him out. He had a pretty face and looked innocent and pure. She could not sleep and watched out the stars between the small holes. Zara missed seeing the stars and the moon so much. A few tears fell from her eyes.
Meanwhile, Lion was awake and saw this. He silently came behind her and hugged her. Zara couldn’t react and stood silent. She was worried someone to see her cry and wrapped up fast.
– Cry, Zara, you need that – whispered Lion into her ear
Zara was calmed by his voice and continued to cry while holding his hands. For the first time, someone held her emptiness. Lion kissed her neck without thinking so much.
That move electrified Zara. She turned around and looked him right in the eyes.
– Your eyes started to lose their black – told Zara and came closer to his face. She continuously watched Lion in the eyes, trying to read him. She could not but listen to her instincts and kissed his lips tenderly. Lion gave in to her, and they started to kiss more passionately. In the same way, he needed her energy, she needed his. They watched each other in the eyes for an eternity.
Lion lost his black color, and Zara gained her black irises. Now they switched to the original fairies they have been and slept together, holding hands.
The sun shone. Both fairies woke up, smiling at each other.
– You are a bad girl – smiled Lion
– But you liked it, did you not? – smiled Zara
They continue to the core while talking about different topics.
They felt warm and smelled fire when they came deep into the abyss. Both fairies went in closer and saw the two beasts far from each other, watching themselves with angry faces.
– Guests! – told Out
– Yes! It was so long to see guests – told In
– So are you lovers, guys? – asked Out
Both fairies stood calm.
-Out, you ask too much! – smiled In – Come, sit and tell us why you are here
Zara and Lion were surprised, but both were polite and sat down. Out brought 4 cups of tea and In – cookies.
– Why the balance in our world is lost? – asked Zara straight
– Because we got a quarrel – answered Out.
– For what? – laughed Lion while asking
– Because we want to stop the restrictions in rose’s regions – said calm In.
– Then do it – told Zara.
– These restrictions are not well anyway – spoke Lion
– Indeed they are not – nodded Out.
– The thing is that we may lose the balance – said In.
– But restrictions make fairies stay unaware of their real abilities-said Zara
– I learned a lot while I changed my regions – said confident Lion
– I know what you mean – spoke Out – We were too perfect with In\
– Perfection is made by not perfect things that complement -said Zara.
– I can’t agree more – said the white fairy Lion
– Then we do what you say – spoke together In and Out, holding their hands and sending back the fairies to their places.
After that, the harmony was back, and the fairies could travel between different regions if they wanted to
Zara sat lonely in the black rose’s sea, looking at the moon. “I prefer to be the moon that shines on you in your darkest hours,” she thought. Silent steps came from above, but she did not hear them.
– Then be the moon in my life. – said a voice into her ear.
– Lion! – Zara was happy to see him and squeezed his chest.
The white fairy kissed the black fairy and took her to his white region in the night.
*****
“I prefer to be the moon that shines on you in your darkest hours” is my life’s motto, but men I have met until now didn’t understand that. In case someone still doesn’t understand, I explain.
Sun attracts everyone with its shine, warmth, etc. But, when the times are challenging, the moon takes the lead. It’s life’s circle and it’s inevitable. Not everyone can take others’ coldness when they are angry, numb, or sad.
It’s the same as living in the spotlight until you’re there, everyone loves you. When you’re out, doing your numerous rebirth, people flee away. That’s why sometimes I do not like to be around humans, animals are more loyal and caring for the true self.
Many people lie they stay forever by others’ side, I understand that. These people want to be polite as was one of my ex-es, but I can’t allow my truth to be twisted and understood wrong.
Living in Fantasy for somebody, as I often do, feels great for a while in the battle with loneliness proud. But, when I hit the ground and found myself alone in a rented flat, things seem different.
I want to escape and feel no shame about it because sometimes the feelings eat me alive. Tears don’t stop for a long time, and I can’t change myself to stop crying. Nobody changes, but the greatest question is: whether people can accept others’ faults or not.
Still, I have my dignity to not bother anyone, close or distant with my troubled emotions. The Mess is not for everyone’s taste and it doesn’t look beautiful. Taking care of my feelings is a must, but sometimes the need for someone to hug me is too much, but I got tired from everything and go sleep on my own in my “California King Bed” song by Rhianna.
The good and evil human side is a neverending tale that will stay the only valid thing in the “forever” talk because when people don’t lie, they can’t live.