Dear Darlin’ Please Excuse My Writing

Dear Darlin', please excuse my writing

Dear Darlin’ Please Excuse My Writing.

is for

These sweet, short romances that people remember.

“Dear Darlin’, Please Excuse my writing” is the verse I love the most with today’s musical thinking confession.

It’s funny how people stop waiting for someone out of the blue. For example, when they take the bus home. The situation moves incredibly fast and the loved ones go somewhere down in the passenger’s mind.

That happened to me today. I am still waiting for a proper explanation from my heart and logic. It’s weird how my deep affection faded away. While listening to Olly Murs’s “Dear Darlin,” I found myself letting every past relationship go with the words: “We tried” like it never happened.

Is it painful to remember, a self-respecting idea, a nasty move, or a ruthless attitude? Please excuse my writing.

Maybe the thought “It was sweet. It was short. We tried.” in Olly Murs’ song “Dear Darlin'” applies to every past and unsuccessful relationship that makes people forget about their self-respect or blur boundaries in the name of love. But today, I lost it because I chose to let everything go.

Time makes people see the truth, and when there is nothing more to peel from their soul or heart, the mind shuts down and puts the negative emotions on the back burner. Nobody wants to feel like a doormat or a sorrowful penguin that walks on the ice. It’s the primal survival instinct. Right said, begging for someone’s attention is exhausting.

I always say that people are in or out of someone else’s life.  That statement reminds me to stop chasing windmills. I may become pitiful, doing the same things, and expecting different results. That is not working well for anyone, but practicing writing does.

Dear Darlin’, Dignity is a respected quality.

When people lose it, is sad and even those who made them pitiful, start to feel guilty. It’s better to stop on time with an objective look at the situation than go after feelings that can make someone laughable. Unrequited love is comfortable in terms of personal development. When people are in a pit they find out a lot of qualities they didn’t know they possessed. Of course, pain, disappointment, sorrow, and low self-esteem are present. In these situations for women is good to think about it like it’s childbirth which is a painful experience, followed by happiness.

Protecting my honor, I disciplined myself to look at my unfortunate lovers like girlfriends. It was short and sweet romances we tried to make into something long-term.

It’s somehow easier to let them go and cut ties with time because even the strongest bond, when not nurtured, fades away for years without communication. Rarely, life ashes, especially romantic ones, can bring a phoenix to life. The process of acceptance of the men I loved so much is slow and steady, but it gives me mental peace when I put them in another category of my heart.

Yes, I love every man that unreciprocated my feelings and hope they’re happy with their freedom, but my life is one to dig more than enough into something that was never meant to be. For that reason, in my heart’s hall is a crowd of past unrequited lovers’ memories which I treasure but let go.

Please Excuse my Writing, because I keep moving on with pride and independence.  Indeed, these qualities saved my life from becoming a negative emotions trash bin.

There were times when I loved too passionately and deeply. My feelings were always over everything acceptable. Most people hated that. I understood it by experience. 

Right said, for most of my life, I felt unloved by my parents, boyfriends, and schoolmates. The trauma was deep-harsh. It took me many years to heal from it but I am still feeling broken. Those who are not whole, often find themselves undesired. Brokenness is unattractive in most cases.

Dear Darlin’, the potential serious companions can feel people who have low self-worth and almost no one starts to build them up.

Giving a supporting hand is not for everyone. It takes compassion, empathy, and out-of-the-box thinking. It can be improved when there is a will for that.

These, who give a helping hand anyway attain the role of savior. I have been one many times and ended up hurt and torn inside out. Even so, my belief is when there is true love that may be unrequited, humans should help others to grow wings. I feel grateful the men I met became better people even on my back. Surviving the storm is one of my specialties, but it takes bravery that many men lack.

Recently my new boss told me: “Males should have your qualities, even if you’re a female.”  Sadly, the world became so mismatched in genders. Masculine qualities went to women and feminine to men.

Dear Darlin’, I continue to believe like a mad woman in miracles. I should have the motivation to keep looking for true love.



Why Not Me?

Why Not Me?

That question always made me wonder. It is of great significance for men and women. Relationships between people are complicated.
When we speak about love relationships, especially unrequited, feelings the situation becomes more complex.

“Why not me?” is always the first question when we see we fall for someone who is cold and distant toward us or gives mixed signals.

Since I have rich experience in overthinking the “Why not me?” question because my unrequited loves are a crowd, I will try to answer it sincerely. It may help all who take the time to read what I have written, and they can find themselves in my words.
The bright side of one-sided love is that every time a person gets rejected, that becomes expected, and it doesn’t hurt too much.

Sometimes it is funny how people that reject you try to play innocent.

They show they are worried, but indeed they are not. Of all rejecting lines, the most popular is “I see you as a friend” or “I do not love you as more than a friend”.
Both sentences are hypocritical because why do people flirt with just a friend?
They should say they do not like you, hurt others hard, and make them move on with their dignity and honor. People need to walk away gracefully from those who cause them pain. The friendship story’s crap people tell because of politeness.
But that politeness will not save a person’s heart from breaking. There is a big difference between friendship and love, in my opinion. Friends can become lovers, but lovers back to friends rarely.
In the case of rejection of a friend in the first stages of falling in love, it is possible to become a strong friendship after some time apart, when the rejected person heals.

The pain of rejection is intoxicating and a wake-up call.

There is a pearl of old wisdom “What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger” – and it is just like that. As soon as people walk away from the unrequited love, they become persons with a stronger mentality. I know it is hard to let go of someone who liked or loved deeply, but the ties with the one-sided love should cut at least for a while until the mind and heart calm down.
After all, at the end of life, people have only themselves. Throughout the life journey, the persons should be the best version of themselves toward other humans and living beings. Giving as much kindness as people should not be for the price of self-sacrifice. After all, self-worth attracts love and understanding.

Now, let’s see the “Why not me?” question’s reasons:

Not ready for a relationship;

Not over the ex-lover or loving someone else;

Lack of will to deal with another’s personal feelings;

Not being ready for a relationship;

In today’s life, that situation is the most common reason to not step into a relationship. Many people are obsessed with their work and problems with their parents or siblings. Or they do not want to have a relationship at the current moment in their lives. That is perfectly fine because when people have no peace of mind or clear vision of what they want, a relationship may make them more uncertain. A forced relationship just because to be in a relationship is a bad idea.

Currently, I do not need a relationship too. Many people should first collect themselves from the past wounds and build their new hearts home because the purity of heart is all we have. 

For the heart to be pure, people need to build walls first for a while to understand better what they want from themselves, their lives, and their eventual partner.

When people are not ready to jump into a relationship, they should control their lust for doing the jump because if they don’t, their hearts will be more broken than before. I say it from experience.

Last year, I went straight away from one relationship to another, and I ended up so broken on a deep level that I hardly can heal, but time takes care of me. I wish no one my experience, so I gladly share my piece of wisdom. When people are not ready to give something valuable in their eventual relationship, they should stay single until their heads clear up.

A relationship is giving, and inspiring the partner, not whining, and blaming the universe. My case now is similar because I finally found my “Why not me?” question’s answer. I can’t give any man that flirts or speaks with me what he deserves for a love relationship. 

The reason is that I have more serious work to make myself a whole than to project my disappointment and drama on other people.

I keep myself emotionally unavailable until the time I find myself. That is why I block almost all communication with potential baes in the beginning. I am not proud of this, but it is the best solution for participants in the flirt game because if things go deep, I can’t jump into a serious relationship now, after so many breakups. I do not want to give empty promises or unrealistic hopes.

Another example I can give of not being ready for a relationship is from one of my male friends. He is quite ambitious about his work, and he sees the eventual relationship as a distraction in his work field. That is the reason why he looks only for physical contact with women, but after some adventures, he said to me he doesn’t want to make women pregnant and stays solo until he is ready to commit.

Many people are like me, and him at the moment. In that situation, my opinion is it’s better to not talk about any prospect of a love relationship, and not even think about it if people are not ready to open themselves to others.

When a person is not ready for a relationship in his heart and mind, it’s a high possibility of heartbreak.

Of course, if someone is too brave and patient to break the heart’s walls, meeting the worst behind them, the love magic can happen. But that is almost an unrealistic tale.

Self Thinking

Many people do not go into a relationship because they are not over their ex-partner or love someone else.

Unrequited love sometimes happens because people do not listen to their inner voices but to others. It doesn’t matter if the others are family, friends, or elders. The pain of one-sided love makes people grow up and upgrade their emotional intelligence level.

Only when they are emotionally stable, comprehensible in their heads, and accept their intuition, does a relationship blossom. Even so, fear of the “Why not me?” question is normal these days, and it is a must for a person to mature.

There is a saying that a broken heart gives the best life lessons.

That is the truth because, without these life lessons, people stay like babies that do not know how to take steps, and always will need someone to guide them. For the perfect relationship, a person should be imperfect but whole.

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