Building Walls Between People

Building Walls Between People

Building Walls Between People


Another Thinking Confession For Overthinkers And Emotionally Neglected Children

Originally, I was planning to finish my Dubai travel post today. But, as expected, my creative writer’s heart didn’t agree with my logical mind.

I use one astrology application called “Co-Star” to check my horoscope. Sometimes the words written in it, make sense. There is a quote I like: “Heart and mind shouldn’t conflict,” but unfortunately in my case, it’s mostly like that.

However, today I started to think about building walls between myself and people. It’s uncertain if that is a good way of doing things, but surely nobody loves the feeling of dead weight to another person, especially an important one.

Recently, I dig too much as a typical overthinker and a child with past emotional neglect, building walls.

Parents often do mistakes without understanding them. It causes emotional neglect to their children. That brings serious consequences in adult life. The lack of parental emotional attention and physical showing of support makes the child a survivor but causes problems in communication. That attracts mutual unemotionality between people.

Information about the topic of emotional neglect can be found everywhere on the Internet, but I want to share the consequences through my life lens. My writing is always based on experience and not on theories and readings.

Reasons for Building Walls Between People


Feeling ashamed is unacceptable, but recently I found out it’s somehow healing. Naming the past mistake in action and accepting it, even if it was a painful experience, brings emotional health into a better shape. One of the reasons for building my walls with people is that I feel ashamed of my past actions toward many of them and especially close ones.

Today was my start to look at my recent and somehow shameful actions. In my opinion, they were like that. Compassion and pity will not bring me salvation, because the past clearly can not be changed. It’s something I need to accept, understand and outwear.

Still, it hurts me,  looking back at the situation. But, keeping my ground with my two feet, always made me proud and motivated to move on.

Thinking Of The Past.

Everyone says people should look into the present, but it’s based on the past and ideas for the future. Of course, overthinking the past is not the greatest idea but it shouldn’t be forgotten. People should not hide from the past but remember it dearly in their hearts. That helps them grow and create a better life aura, karma, or whatever they name it.

Overthinking is not advisable, because when it’s prolonged, people become stagnant in their lives. It’s good to have a reasonable period to analyze the situation and discipline to follow it. For example, one day to accept the situation, second to feel it, and third to continue moving on with life, because time never turns back.

Lack Of Self-Compassion

That is the main problem for everyone. I always look first at my mistakes when something goes wrong. It’s still challenging for me to accept that I did my best in a certain situation. My harsh words and feelings toward myself destructed me many times but I revived as a phoenix from ashes. Even so, Self-compassion is challenging to apply, especially when someone grew up without parental emotional love. It’s undeniable fact my parents always provided for me financially, but never invested in my feelings, talents, and supporting my dreams.

However, my gratitude toward them is never-ending. I do my best to avoid that pattern while raising my daughter as a single parent.

For the protocol, my parents were separated unofficially. My mother never stood on her own two feet because she was financially dependent and didn’t try to move on alone. Many women today are like her and I do not blame anyone for anything. It takes courage to become a single parent and risk becoming financially unstable, broken, and living alone with the child until it grows up.

I had two choices: going back with my ex for the money or my hometown to survive. My choice was to stay on my own because I can not live with someone I do not even love. Following my heart is the golden string I follow all my life.

It’s pitiful, humiliating, and insulting to move in with someone without any feelings. So, my understanding of today’s reality of single parenthood is good. Courage is a blessing that not many people have.

Hiding From Facing The Situation

Hiding is a well-known method to avoid uncomfortable situations. Recently, I started doing it because I got too much on my plate. Soon that situation will change. Now, I want to hide because of my need to process everything that happened for the last few months and recharge. But, hiding is never a good idea although sometimes is needed.

Many humans hide forever and build walls. Not many people want to break others’ defenses. It’s a matter of choice, bravery, and depth of feelings.

These are the reasons to build walls between people. Only the closest ones will understand the pain their friends, lovers, parents, or children go through if they want.

Will the close-to-heart people give a hand or not?

In most cases no. Usual sentences are: “I do not want to interrupt,” “I don’t need others’ dramas, “I do not understand,” Why the hell should I care for someone else outside myself?” etc.

However, few people will go through fire for their friends, partners, etc. If you have someone like that in your circle, protect them with everything you got.

For today, my confession ends here. I am happy that you read me and my way to go out of depression is to dance through it. My belief is humans should have their ways to keep going in life. If not, finding them is a must.

Reading The Zodiac – Poem

Reading The Zodiac - Poem

Reading The Zodiac – Poem


Dedicated to Zodiac reading maniacs like me. 🙂

Happy mood today

Reading the Zodiac

Enjoying the fake fact

About meeting the soulmate

That seems somehow away

From my life, or unavailable?

Time fly

And I lie

Myself to meet

Someone special

And we go through

Hardship and sorrow

Loving each other flaw

But as the day goes by

I work a lot and occupy

My paycheck side

That indeed loves me

 Bills and taxes arrived

I still read the Zodiac

It makes me sincerely smile

But my disappointment

I can’t happily hide

There is no time

My business meeting smiled

“You need to tell me goodbye

Because you’re not skillful,”

For the 1000 jobs that aligned

By only one work position

I continue reading the horoscope

Does it say I will meet eternal Love?

But where it is I do not know

Because  I need to make up how

My resume on LinkedIn is looking

To go and fight for salary cloak

My expenses to rise, and I can’t allow

Does the horoscope say I grow?

Probably it is right, but I should go

To look for new obligations

Since there are many associations

From the zodiac that I look at above

Money making is somehow a salvation

When there is empty communication

In search the unconditional Love

I met many secrets that flow

Like the waves of the sea

I visited on my holiday time

To date with the broken crab

Whose tong never comes back

But I send it to the ocean

Where my life is going away

Without affairs for the grey

Years of my life, but I will survive

There are many stray cats outside

That should be fed and someday

 I will take them to my home

When I grow old and alone

But that doesn’t even matter

I keep reading the Zodiac

Horoscopes never turn me back

Where I  understood

Or maybe I did belong

Things sometimes go wrong

But the dice it’s thrown

And stays 7 months at zero

However, I became a hero

For Quora curious people

And my beautiful daughter

I started to accept I might end up alone

But I keep reading the Zodiac horoscope.


I was obsessed with reading zodiac horoscopes. That was a thing that lifted my spirit for a while. But time passed, and nothing happened by reading the zodiac. Today I still read it for fun without believing it.

Sometimes people need a simple hug to feel better, but when there is no one to give it, looking for another way to relieve the stress is good. A Zodiac horoscope reading is a temporary solution to a long-held problem that needs personal resolution. It’s undeniable fact that reading helps the same way as going to church by giving calamity to the soul. It’s also true that horoscopes can not save people from their actions.

Before Christmas Eve, I say it doesn’t matter the relationship status, the best way to celebrate it is with self-love and forgiveness for past mistakes. People learn from daily routines and situations which make them better persons. The main point of Christmas is to become the light in someone’s life, making them believe in miracles again. Another interesting point of view for that celebration is being close to family – blood or soul. My life tribe never has been alongside my relatives outside my daughter. But I take care of them.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone! Let’s become better Humans who create miracles for our close-to-heart persons or random strangers. Shall we?
%d bloggers like this: