Being A Single Mom Is Organization

 

Society always claims single parents.  The separated partner with a kid meets a lot of hardships and lacks support. I take personal the question about single moms because I see it as discrimination.

It is hard for a woman to decide to leave the father of her child. If the climate at home is full of emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, these problems need to be resolved immediately. That situation is unhealthy for both partners in a relationship, and for the kid is a destructive emotion.

If the father takes no part in the engagements around the child and doesn’t care for the mother, this is not a good sign. The family begins to crumble.

The mother decides to leave or not the father for years. She overthinks everything. When she leaves the broken home with the kid, she faces many hardships – finances, emotions, solitude, and unacceptance.

The relationships between parents are the basis one kid has to build own family in the future. If the man or the woman doesn’t treat each other with love, care, and respect, the kid will do the same when it is an adult.

For example: if the man abuses the woman in a verbal, emotional, or physical way, the son will think that is normal in the relationship. If the kid is female, she will see the abuse l toward her in her future marriage as the norm.

Some mothers got beaten up by their husbands and son at the same time. Because the kid thinks it is a proper way to show his love. He saw that after all from his father.

The women often stay in relationships with their men because of the child or economic reasons. Generally speaking, that, in my opinion, is low self-esteem and cowardly.

The truth is that children always prefer to see their parents happy, even single. Other situation makes the family unhappy, but together in quarrels. Children cry from this situation and feel like they are at fault. Whatever speech parents use, actions always show the truth.

Reasons for the moms to leave the unhappy relationship after many years of thinking are few.

  • No actions by the man for anything

  • Feeling like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation

  • The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine.

  • No equal partnership in obligations for home and kid care

  • No activities together as a family

  • They are fed up to be slaves for men’s every wish

  • Lack of self-development because of no personal time

  • No build-up between both partners

When a woman observes that her husband does no action for anything, she is highly disappointed. Once, at the first stages of courtship and moving in together, the man acted a lot regarding support and everything related to the couple’s life. With years gone by and no quality communication, and sincere support, he took her for granted.

The lack of physical, emotional, and intellectual communication to build a strong personality bond makes the woman feel like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation. Once hit that phase, it is a matter of time for the woman to leave the man if he doesn’t do anything.

All people need to feel treasured, appreciated, and respected for who they are.

Women need special attention all the time because they are more into words and emotions than men. Of course, the words should be proved by actions. The same goes for the women toward their men too.

With this phase not resolved, The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine. Once the bad feelings of both partners in the family are not solved, the relationship dies. It becomes dull and groovy without a single spark. That situation may lead to mutual love affairs, and the partners will not even feel bad about it.

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That makes the woman feel alone in the relationship. She feels like she fights alone for the family. That makes her more distant from her partner. She stops caring for her needs and gives all she got to her kid. That leads to forgetting the partner.

In most cases, this equality in the relationship misses, and the woman does the first steps to go out of it. Let me ask you if you do everything on your own at home, but saying to society you have a partner that does nothing, is that fair to you as a person? The man also can feel that way, but usually, women wear the cross of most obligations on their shoulders.

When there is a child, both parents should participate in taking care of it. But they can do it properly only if the two partners are in tune, feel love, and have deep respect toward each other.

This situation leads to a so-called fake family, in my opinion. No activities together as a family are just random meetings of people who think they are something more. Family trips, picnics, and genuine celebrations are also strengthening the family bond between all family members. But this bond starts first with both parents. If they are not in a deep emotional relationship, it is a matter of time for the fake family to split up, and the kid to stay with the one parent.

Do not get me wrong when I say I am a feminist, but I do not hate men. Sometimes husbands have too many desires and want every single of them to realize immediately. They treat their wives as slaves. That is not good. 

Women are human beings and have their limits, patience, dignity, and self-esteem. They also do not like mind games, to be obsessed and controlled. Husbands should treat respectfully the wife. The men often forget how to do that.

Another strong reason for the women to move out of the unfulfilling relationship is the lack of self-development because of no personal time. Everyone needs to self-develop. That is very true for moms in long-term relationships and marriages.

That is the biggest motivation two people have to be in a relationship and move in together. If there is a build-up between the two persons when they go through hardships of life, their union can be long-lasting. The support between a man, and a woman, is based on trust. It proves in the first months of their life together.

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I will not lie if I say that staying on your own as a mom is a lonely activity. Women have only their kids, and they understand fully that the only true and unconditional love is between the parent and the child.

Of course, there is always a price to staying the way that woman is. The price is usually loneliness and being single for a very long time. It is a well-known fact that men do not want women with kids for a family.

Single moms have no time to date too much, and they are careful in choosing the man they date. Most moms date online because they have limited time to use social media. There are usually two groups of men that show interest in single moms:

  1. Younger ones look only for a physical relationship without commitment

  2. Older men with their kids that look for a mom for the kids

Both groups of potential partners for single moms have their pros and cons. Dating men’s limit was set by the woman with a child based on her needs. She is smart enough to avoid men who aren’t clear about what they want or give mixed signals.

In both scenarios, the single mom has a short time to decide what she wants and to be transparent in her relationships between dates, children, and the ex-partner. 

In most situations, when the parents separate, there is co-parenting. A certain amount of time spent is between the father and the mother.

There rarely will be someone else to catch you when you fall. And the woman should take good care of her child. She needs to learn to take care of herself without expecting someone else to do it.

Nobody needs to feel less important than she is. No one has the right to insult, abuse, or lie to the other partner.

Sources:

10 Things Single Moms Want You To Know – https://mom.com/momlife/things-single-moms-want-you-to-know

12 Reasons Dating as a Single Mom is Better – Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors – https://motherhoodreimagined.com/dating-as-a-single-mom-by-choice/

The Truth about being a single mother – https://www.thebump.com/a/truth-about-being-single-mother

Reasons For Cheating Summary

There Are Explanations For Everything.

It has been a long time since my last post. The past month was chaotic.

After all, everyone has these times that teach appreciable life lessons.


Since I have some family problems, I want to share my opinion today about cheating reasons.
This topic is not great, but it gives a good amount of information on where a person is on the life path and how people see themselves.

Why do I think recently of cheating?


As time went by, both partners in one relationship forget about each other because they are too busy with their own lives.
I have read a lot of sources about cheating because I wanted to understand the topic better. Some of the sources I shared in the post.
Other sources were people from real life.

Unfortunately, most of them are women. It seems that more women these days think about cheat and doing it.


Why does this happen?

Because a woman feels unprecious.
I tell you also from personal experience that when I go home, I felt that way accompanied by murmuring and underestimating my working efforts.

I had the feeling that it is expected of me to do so many things that aren’t possible to be done physically at the same time. They were housework, caring for the kid and myself, and earning money. When I try to explain, it is as good as I am talking to the wall.
Women shouldn’t treat as second-hand people.
After I have read all sources I could find, I summarized the reasons for cheating like this.

  1. Lack of communication and accepting the wife or the husband as a part of the decoration.

At the beginning of every relationship, there are romantic gestures like flowers, dining out, and a lot of talking. When both partners spend enough time together, they forget about giving gifts and talk about everything with each other.

The partners begin to forget about the other partner’s need for talk and care. They stop sharing the interests they had before the start of their life together. With this, the downfall of the relationship is guaranteed.

At the same time, women spend a lot of time online talking on social media and easily find a new partner to talk about since the husband doesn’t care about what they do during the day or night. All gestures of attention are gone, and women feel that they are unseen anymore. That hurts a lot of their ego, and some stop neglecting their outlook.

Going out with messy hair, chipped nails, and the same ten-years clothes seriously are not attractive. But the motivation to stay fit, pretty, and self-caring, is long gone because of the lack of compliments, small gestures, and male attention.

This situation makes a woman silent, doing her jobs unmotivated and like routine. She loses the spark in her eyes and becomes invincible in her and her partner’s eyes.

On the husband’s side, things are not looking pink too. When he started to date his wife, he was attached to her, wanting to win her over, and the chemistry was so strong.
After some time, he begins to see her unperfections, forgetting she always tried to make herself up to him.
The man begins to feel not content because he doesn’t get attention.

The woman, in her pursuits, to make the home clean and the kids – well-raised, has no time to pay attention to her husband anymore.
Here the husband should understand that he also needs to help with the house, but in most cases, men irritate to do the housewife’s job.

That is a good reason for the relationship breakup.


Husband feels he doesn’t own his wife anymore and irritates she doesn’t look at him. He stops doing any gestures toward her because he doesn’t feel interested anymore, and she is not as pretty as before.

The man feels lonely and goes out with friends most of the time. He needs to talk to someone about his worries too, but the partner is always busy. That turns him off.

The communication between both parties stops, and they become roommates with or without children.


The husband begins to feel unseen and stops taking care of his outlook, forgetting his interests because he needs to speak too, but no one listens.
That makes his motivation go away. He usually finds a new woman or goes into a deep depression that leads to apathetic, and aggressive behavior.

In both cases, the family partners accept each other as a part of the interior decoration of the house.

 

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2. Roommates with, or without, children.


It is true children are the most precious thing in a human’s life. But when the parents are unsure that they are with the right person and do not want to share responsibilities with the newborn, the child becomes like a to-do list.
Children need the full attention of their mothers.

That is the reason why most husbands leave the wife with the baby.

Men feel forgotten when a child is born.


The wife is tired when only she takes care of the kid. She can’t sleep, bathe or do anything while the husband doesn’t see he is fit to help.

Most men think they shouldn’t change diapers, give a bath to the kid, or do anything else regarding the baby.
Husbands think this is only the mother’s job.  They do not care for other housework engagements because they are shocked by the new life that came at home and changed anything.
Wives have to deal with all post-pregnancy and after-birth depression. As mothers, they need time to adapt to the new situation for taking care of the baby.

One month of the acceptance of the new life period is required.
That is a crucial period for family life between both partners. If the father’s kid doesn’t show the same care as the mother, problems will arise. When they occur, in the condition the mother is in, most likely both partners start to argue.
The husband should control his emotions and understands the chaotic feelings his wife has. Otherwise, that can lead to separation.
Children, in general, are the main reason people stay together or divorce. They are the most beautiful thing in the world for the parents, but only if parents accept each other, as they are, with all their good sides, and flaws.
Often a family breaks when a baby is born because the communication and interactions between husband and wife are not enough, physically speaking.

That creates conflicts between both adults.

Under interactions, I do not meet only sexual ones, but even touch, a hug, and something elementary. Parents are stressed out when the newborn baby comes home, and the husband and wife are afraid, unsure, and trying to adapt better.
Both parties can’t hold so many new things on their own, but often they scream to each other from the tiredness they feel.

Every situation can resolve by speaking calmly and work together to achieve more.


When parents stay together with the kid as a family but forget to share things between themselves, they become roommates with the children. They prefer to quarrel than move out of the broken home. That is probably a mistake that costs all family sorrows.

Humans always make mistakes, but they may learn from them.


Indeed, roommates with children, are probably the wrong family choice. But too much courage is needed for the one roommate with children to take a step outside.
That makes both partners irritated and look for affairs outside. Somewhere, where they feel treasured and appreciated.

Photo by Du01b0u01a1ng Nhu00e2n on Pexels.com

3. Absence of Common Interests and no Will to search for new ones.

A strong reason for cheating is the lack of common interests, and the missing determination to find new ones.
When two partners live too much time together, they lose the first interest that connected them.

As time goes by, they lose the bond they made during the first years of the partnership.


During the first meetings, the communication between both partners is compelling and inspiring. Then the years go by, and they say whatever they wanted to say, shared whatever they wanted to share, and the conversations go empty.
Topics of similar interest and shared hobbies fade and then comes the boredom of daily life routines.

Here, people in marriage should put in a lot of work. But this only happens if there is a will between both partners to search for new ones. If no willpower, it is a matter of time for both parties to move on to someone they meet accidentally and make them curious.
That means both partners in a relationship should always work on developing themselves and find new sides. They should try new things which wake up a new interest toward them in the other partner.

When there is a newly discovered experience in long-term relationships, the family partners will not be bored with each other.


For this reason for cheating, most families fail because all need to be listened to and appreciated.

Wife and husbands should prove they are still interested in each other weekly at least. Of course, showing daily care is preferable, but every human needs a break from others sometimes.
Many people neglect their partner so much and accept each other as given. They go so uninterested in building a deeper relationship that there is a matter of time before it goes into ruins.


Cheating, in general, is not a good thing, but there are always reasons for doing something.

People usually do not look at the reasons for doing something but listen to their emotions.

That is not a bad thing because everyone can get hurt, but the important is to understand the motives and forgive in the heart with time.
When the cheat is discovered, partners probably will not stay together anymore.

But, if they have deep love between them, they can consider their second, and last chance to change for good, or bad.
Many humans say that if once their mate had a love affair, numerous affairs will follow. Probably they have rights, but if they do not change their behavior, knowing the concrete reasons for these actions, things will never change for them.
If you ask me, when I have a partner I find cheating, I will leave him right away without a second thought. It is not sure that is the best decision.

Probably, in that situation, people should be logical and rational.


Here comes the thin limit between searching for a cheat that sure will be found, or a hidden affair that happened once, and the partner may never find out about it.


Sometimes things happen accidentally when too much stress or so deep disappointment in the partner.

That is why people should communicate more in every life field, but not with scandals. A high voice tone always leads to bad situations.

Reasons for human behavior are always considered as the beginning of a new life transformation. It is an experience that leads to a new personality dimension, including cheating too.


Before judging the partner, both sides should look for the reasons behind cheating.

Sources:

Why Married People Cheat?

Why Do People Cheat?

Reasons Why Women Cheat In The Relationships.

Why Do People Cheat And Become Unfaithful?

Why Do People Cheat Without Thinking?

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