Desert’s Wanderers Into Oases

Life’s Sands Leads To Unknown places

It has been a while since I thought about the messages I received by reading “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho and “Love” by Elif Shafak.

Right said, I used to believe I didn’t have much time to read books on paper until I started to travel again to places I had never been before, or I have been, but with a different mindset. Turkey and Dubai are places like that. Every time they are new for me to meet.

The recent course of my life after Finding the mind’s peace proved that living is like wandering in the desert – going to new oases that are already occupied and meeting many snakes, scorpions, or whatever beings people think. Some of them are real, and some are like mirages fading away.

Let’s look at the mirages and realities that have been seen differently by people’s eyes.

The Journey between two people starts unexpectedly because when there are too many expectations, research, analysis, and defending mechanisms, nothing can start.

So, I started my journey with an illusionary person. Both of us laughed, shared, and believed we are on the same road, fighting the bad in the desert to find the oasis.

But is the fight with the worse things real or not?

In my opinion, there is a challenge that I should overcome. Every time I fall, I stand up and move on through the pain, sadness, shattered heart, etc.

On the other side, my illusionary person likes to stay in a worse situation that may be real or not. It is the place he wants to be without a fight. His eyes do not see more than an oasis to rest forever.

But that oasis is so crowded that there is not much place left for more people.

Here comes “The Alchemist” idea for the so-called personal legend. In the book, there is a saying that when people want something too much, the Universe helps them. I am unsure if to agree with that. Because when I wanted something or someone so much, the universe took it away from me.

Or maybe it was not meant to be?

My illusionary person -he doesn’t want someone or something, many things seem different. He did not chase the mirage of what it could be, but he did not know what his legend was also. That person decided to stay comfortable in the first crowded oasis in the desert.

Many people make the comfortable choice for ages. After all, comfort is the easiest way to hell, based on an illusionary paradise for a happy life. I do not blame them. They have their heads on their shoulders to believe, learn or stay in whatever or wherever they feel no resistance and urge to do anything.


But what would be if the mirage is real?

With tears in my eyes and a suffocating feeling, I drank the water of leaving and moved forward.

Before I left the first oasis, another illusionary person joined me because he was betrayed by a close to his heart significant being in the crowded oasis.

Finding a new travel mate was exciting at first. Spending time together was good. I shared my mirages and got attached. I thought it was mutual because the other person talked about his visions too.

Together, with the second illusionary person, we went through two oases. They were crowded and unfriendly.

At the next oasis was a lot of curiosity among the locals because when foreign people come into the picture, the things in the known daily routines become irritating. There is an undeniable truth that states: “Some people’s demons are irritated by others’ success.” It makes the founders of a concrete oasis disrupted.

Changes of any kind create panic reactions in a well-kept pack. Living comfortably and feeding others’ greed has its advantages and disadvantages. People feel like they are kings and queens, forgetting where they started on their journey and how it finished. And when someone new shows up, the balance is lost because there is a thin voice in the head whispering.

“What if they find the mirage I once was looking for?

On the numerous oasis, I went with the illusionary person, saw some mirages fade away, and stepped over the realities misinterpreted. The reasons for misinterpretation were the learned attitudes: “Trust no one” and “Everyone is the same.” Being betrayed, my travel mate understood as much as he knew and decided that is his place to stay until the end of time.

In that place, I learned what unrequited love is. Giving everything to someone, who doesn’t know how to give, and doesn’t want to risk trusting another human. Also, he doesn’t want even to give a chance for the possible affair.

Is that smart, or is it cowardly?

Here, I remembered the situation of Elif Shafak’s “Love” when Shams said that by going to Rumi’s place, he might lose his head. That is the essence of true love that I longed for, seeming unapproachable. Today, it looks the same old and worn way.

In the “Love” book, I loved the interactions between Shams and Rumi. Indeed, The actual love story between nowadays unsure and fearful people was uninteresting.

But how many people can believe by risking their trust and building psychological foundations?

Only a few. Mistrust leads to forced betrayals, and that is a fact that can be proved by many broken relationships when one person has no faith in the other.

My second illusionary person decided to stay in the third oasis because he did not want to be hurt by fully trusting someone else.

With stakes in my heart, I held tighter to my mirage and went after it. At that time nobody joined my journey.

The desert became friendlier to me. That sent me back to “The Alchemist” part when the main character met many betrayals in terms of money, and comfortable proposals, but he moved on to his dream. Meanwhile, the poor and free shepherd learned many things.

Do you know there is a melody from my favorite cellist Hauser that is called “The lonely shepherd“?  

 That shows how is the life of people who pursue their dreams.


Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

 

Wandering into the desert, I saw many lonely hearts. They did not take a step toward me, lost in their thoughts, turning their eyes away from mine.

I know an interesting quote: “Between two people are exactly ten steps. If you do your five and meet no one, go back.” That is the truth in today’s interpersonal relationships.

At first, I was sad about it. Then I started to get friendly with the sand and its creatures. I learned to feel the wind and hear the raindrops, which are rare in the desert.

Raindrops are also the feelings people hide and deny. But that doesn’t change them or root them out.

In every desert storm, I survived with the knowledge I learned from the little creatures that whispered to me.

The solitude makes people more sensitive and opens their hearts toward the small things they didn’t even care to pay attention to.

I continued to look at my mirage that sometimes faded to reappear again. Like the main character in “The alchemist” book, I kept going to the next numerous oasis. The deeper into the desert I went, the oases were not so crowded but still unfriendly.

One day, a desert storm found me somewhere in the unknown, and I got no shelter. Using my imagination and creativity, I built one. It became my safe harbor, but I missed the water. No one was there to bring it, and neither was an oasis close by. Since I was thirsty, I dug a deep hole to collect the water when the rain came. I knew a day or two after the desert storm, rain follows.

From that day, I started to create my oasis with what I had, following my mirage also but always coming back to my home. Because when people have clear goals, they follow them and need a place to recharge.

My favorite scene in “The Alchemist” is when the man meets his true love. The words between them were not many. She said she would be with him in the wind, and storm and would wait for the desert to bring him back to her. I was unsure what does that mean before, but now I know.

Some lovers that are kept within the heart, choose to stay in their oases. Life’s desert never brings them back, or they become wanderers like me in another part of the wilderness

Many travelers in the desert do not stop and stay wanderers until they die or give up.

But people need their oasis, do they not?

Desert wanderers started with a mirage. On their trip, they either lose or find themselves. There is no turning back when something has started. It is a delusion when someone says they can’t go on. There are always at least two choices in a challenging situation.

Why did they start the trip then?

When people choose to stop, they give up or change their mindset h under others’ legends. They become unrecognizable to themselves. They lost their mirage’s traces looking for the oasis’s comfort. It twisted their minds.

The wanderers become an obedient bundle for someone who lost themselves in the mirage they seek and forget its genuine purpose. They might die too from the solitude and never-ending wander into the unknown without settling for a while.

Wanderer’s trip finishes with the oasis they choose. It may be theirs, authorities, or lovers. They may decide to go into the crowded and relaxing place or make their way by traces somewhere else.

Whatever the choice, life’s sand can change and make the desert more colorful, or not.

In the end, the desert is big, and every person’s legend is a treasure that should bring a higher purpose or at least a new experience for the perfect desert world.
So, for today, let’s drink a cup of coffee, tea, or wine while thinking about life and plan the next steps in the wandering journey that should lead somewhere unknown.

 

 

House Person’s Complex

Wasting the happiness potential.

Certain people, with their actions, provoked me to write what I write now- It is ugly indeed, but it is the truth.

I like to use it as a wake-up call to people regarding their dignity and remaining honor as a part of their family.


I speak about a house person’s complex.

It is a sentence I see fit and applies toward house persons. I do not blame people who choose to stay home and take care of the household, but I find it highly inappropriate to cheat your partner until you’re home and are bored. I speak about the period when kids are old enough to care about themselves. They do not need their parent’s help anymore.

House people sit at home, doing nothing about improving themselves or their relationship with the other parent of their kids.

Usually, when house people have free time, they look at their phones.

They start to flirt online or play mobile video games.

They do not make something to develop themselves and the family’s dynamic.


I am highly disappointed in parents with kids that hate their partners but stay with them, using them for money. They don’t take steps to improve themselves in any better version. These house people use chats and games to fantasize about some wind-whirling romance, and they stop working on their own in reality.

In the end, they are left alone and unloved by their real-life partner. Of course, the one parent will leave the broken family’s relationship, taking the kids.

Is that not a high price for false online romance?


That is a form of cheating too. The situation will lead to worse activities. Domestic abuse may pop up, and divorce may follow. Kids will see and apply it in their adult lives.


The time spent online should be used purposefully on self-improving or caring for the stability of the family’s unit. Most people today indeed lead single-parent life.

But, if there is a possibility to stay in a whole family, and both partners want to work on it, there should be a better free online time investment.


I do not understand how it is possible to choose an online date, and then do your best to improve your family situation. I also had some online crushes, but they stood where their place is – online. And I am not proud, I have been there where many house persons are now. I understand the reasons behind flirting online, but I do not accept them to be the reason to neglect your real-life family.

Fantasies for love are way too deep in our current lives, but the truth is different. To love someone, you need to love yourself.


Currently, If I have to choose between an online flirt and an online course to improve my skills, my choice will be the course.

House persons, with free time, should work toward making themselves better parents and spouses. Looking for love online when you have chosen to be with someone, and have children, is not meaningful.

At least, the marriage deserves a chance to improve. If all possibilities for improvement between both parents are used up, then packing the bags, and those of the kids, come in handy.

The house persons should leave or try to save their marriages if they are not happy.

Sitting at home cheating with an online lover is pitiful. Either break up with him and work on yourself or stay with him, breaking your child and spouse’s hearts.

There should be a choice people make.

But, there can be not having both online and family love. It is disgusting and fake and will give a bad example to the children involved.

But yes, humans make mistakes and bear their consequences.

Even so, that is not making a person justified – it makes it look irresponsible.


My point is, the house persons should lead a loyal and faithful marriage life, trying their best to improve and save what they have. If there is nothing in that marriage to save, people better leave it clean and proudly.


Tolerance between marriage partners has its limits. Remember the reasons why you married that person. When the connection between both spouses has shattered, sitting and doing nothing will not help.
House persons should think carefully about what consequences will bring their boredom and time-killing choices will reflect in their family life.


Yes, it is true “Love is found anywhere,” but before stepping into the numerous outside marriage’s relationship, think first about what you want to achieve from it.

Do you have the guts to drop what you have, taking your children with you?

If you do not have the courage, strength, and will to sacrifice what you have and go on your single hard life path, stop until it is not too late.

My experience is by being in online relationships and giving away too many chances to my former, almost, spouse.

Think for the future and see the bigger life picture.

lf people bear the consequences of their own choices if they are brave enough to accept them.

Careful thinking about every step in the lives before and after separation gives the answers if cheating is meaningful for people’s lives.

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