Happiness Archives - "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"

Society always claims single parents. The separated partner with a kid meets a lot of hardships and lacks support. I take personal the question about single moms because I see it as discrimination.

It is hard for a woman to decide to leave the father of her child. If the climate at home is full of emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, these problems need to be resolved immediately. That situation is unhealthy for both partners in a relationship, and for the kid is a destructive emotion.

If the father takes no part in the engagements around the child and doesn’t care for the mother, this is not a good sign. The family begins to crumble.

The mother decides to leave or not the father for years. She overthinks everything. When she leaves the broken home with the kid, she faces many hardships – finances, emotions, solitude, and unacceptance.

The relationships between parents are the basis one kid has to build own family in the future. If the man or the woman doesn’t treat each other with love, care, and respect, the kid will do the same when it is an adult.

For example: if the man abuses the woman in a verbal, emotional, or physical way, the son will think that is normal in the relationship. If the kid is female, she will see the abuse l toward her in her future marriage as the norm.

Some mothers got beaten up by their husbands and son at the same time. Because the kid thinks it is a proper way to show his love. He saw that after all from his father.

The women often stay in relationships with their men because of the child or economic reasons. Generally speaking, that, in my opinion, is low self-esteem and cowardly.

The truth is that children always prefer to see their parents happy, even single. Other situation makes the family unhappy, but together in quarrels. Children cry from this situation and feel like they are at fault. Whatever speech parents use, actions always show the truth.

Reasons for the moms to leave the unhappy relationship after many years of thinking are few.

No actions by the man for anything
Feeling like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation
The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine.
No equal partnership in obligations for home and kid care
No activities together as a family
They are fed up to be slaves for men’s every wish
Lack of self-development because of no personal time
No build-up between both partners

When a woman observes that her husband does no action for anything, she is highly disappointed. Once, at the first stages of courtship and moving in together, the man acted a lot regarding support and everything related to the couple’s life. With years gone by and no quality communication, and sincere support, he took her for granted.

The lack of physical, emotional, and intellectual communication to build a strong personality bond makes the woman feel like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation. Once hit that phase, it is a matter of time for the woman to leave the man if he doesn’t do anything.

All people need to feel treasured, appreciated, and respected for who they are.

Women need special attention all the time because they are more into words and emotions than men. Of course, the words should be proved by actions. The same goes for the women toward their men too.

With this phase not resolved, The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine. Once the bad feelings of both partners in the family are not solved, the relationship dies. It becomes dull and groovy without a single spark. That situation may lead to mutual love affairs, and the partners will not even feel bad about it.

That makes the woman feel alone in the relationship. She feels like she fights alone for the family. That makes her more distant from her partner. She stops caring for her needs and gives all she got to her kid. That leads to forgetting the partner.

In most cases, this equality in the relationship misses, and the woman does the first steps to go out of it. Let me ask you if you do everything on your own at home, but saying to society you have a partner that does nothing, is that fair to you as a person? The man also can feel that way, but usually, women wear the cross of most obligations on their shoulders.

When there is a child, both parents should participate in taking care of it. But they can do it properly only if the two partners are in tune, feel love, and have deep respect toward each other.

This situation leads to a so-called fake family, in my opinion. No activities together as a family are just random meetings of people who think they are something more. Family trips, picnics, and genuine celebrations are also strengthening the family bond between all family members. But this bond starts first with both parents. If they are not in a deep emotional relationship, it is a matter of time for the fake family to split up, and the kid to stay with the one parent.

Do not get me wrong when I say I am a feminist, but I do not hate men. Sometimes husbands have too many desires and want every single of them to realize immediately. They treat their wives as slaves. That is not good.

Women are human beings and have their limits, patience, dignity, and self-esteem. They also do not like mind games, to be obsessed and controlled. Husbands should treat respectfully the wife. The men often forget how to do that.

Another strong reason for the women to move out of the unfulfilling relationship is the lack of self-development because of no personal time. Everyone needs to self-develop. That is very true for moms in long-term relationships and marriages.

That is the biggest motivation two people have to be in a relationship and move in together. If there is a build-up between the two persons when they go through hardships of life, their union can be long-lasting. The support between a man, and a woman, is based on trust. It proves in the first months of their life together.

I will not lie if I say that staying on your own as a mom is a lonely activity. Women have only their kids, and they understand fully that the only true and unconditional love is between the parent and the child.

Of course, there is always a price to staying the way that woman is. The price is usually loneliness and being single for a very long time. It is a well-known fact that men do not want women with kids for a family.

Single moms have no time to date too much, and they are careful in choosing the man they date. Most moms date online because they have limited time to use social media. There are usually two groups of men that show interest in single moms:

Younger ones look only for a physical relationship without commitment
Older men with their kids that look for a mom for the kids

Both groups of potential partners for single moms have their pros and cons. Dating men’s limit was set by the woman with a child based on her needs. She is smart enough to avoid men who aren’t clear about what they want or give mixed signals.

In both scenarios, the single mom has a short time to decide what she wants and to be transparent in her relationships between dates, children, and the ex-partner.

In most situations, when the parents separate, there is co-parenting. A certain amount of time spent is between the father and the mother.

There rarely will be someone else to catch you when you fall. And the woman should take good care of her child. She needs to learn to take care of herself without expecting someone else to do it.

Nobody needs to feel less important than she is. No one has the right to insult, abuse, or lie to the other partner.

Sources:

10 Things Single Moms Want You To Know – https://mom.com/momlife/things-single-moms-want-you-to-know

12 Reasons Dating as a Single Mom is Better – Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors – https://motherhoodreimagined.com/dating-as-a-single-mom-by-choice/

The Truth about being a single mother – https://www.thebump.com/a/truth-about-being-single-mother

That Is All Women Need To Feel Inspired.

Many women lack self-esteem. That is because they do not look pretty enough in their own eyes. It doesn’t matter if the reason is overweight, cellulite or acne on the face. The outlook changes with time and age.
The problem here is not the look outside, but the feeling women have inside.
Worries at home, work, and social relationships play a huge role in low women’s confidence. The television stereotypes that women should look likewise, and social media hit hard the self-esteem.
The media is part of the daily lives of everyone.

What can we all do?

Just ignore the thought that everyone should be the same on the outside look.
The most important thing is to be realistic.

What does one woman have and what not?

When this is understood, things change. All women can wear a proudly red dress. The important thing is the clothing style of that dress.

But what is the red dress?

That is the self-confidence of women themselves. They should wear good quality clothes even if they feel bad inside.
The quality doesn’t mean the most expensive dress, but the one that fits right on women’s bodies. For example, curvy girls should wear clothes that show well their better body parts than problematic ones.
Speaking metaphorically, red is the color of confidence and strength. Today’s women live a different life than in the old times. They emancipate but want to stay women also. That can happen but without the expectation of better treatment.
When the girl is younger, she wants to be sexy without knowing the right thing about this look.
A sexy look is not to show up the body’s part, but to be a confident woman. Wherever women go, they should look adequate for their age and have a human attitude.
It doesn’t matter how bad one woman feels, but she should take care of herself.

Who else will do it?

Most men look for beautiful girls they can control. A girl that he can show up to. That is not a bad thing but is too ordinary.
The difference between pretty girls and mature women wearing red dresses is simple. Girls want to show their bodies to invite men to take care of them by playing stupid with their beauty. Another reason is that the girls are lazy to grow up and invest money in themselves, and I mean their minds.
Mature Women that wear red dresses have their dignity. They know they are not so pretty and carefree as younger ones, but they have more consistency. They have a career, children, and their shoulders to lay.
Mature women are partners, and young girls are not.
A red dress can be worn only by a woman that knows where she is going and treasures herself.
When women give childbirth, they forget about themselves and take care of their looks.

It is inevitable for the woman to go back on herself. Because when the woman age, she understands better new day she can see her child and the sunrise is a gift.
The clothes she wore are dusty as her role as the victim should be taken care of by someone else.
The young glitter and naivety fade away because a grown-up, mature woman knows most of her life is gone.
When children grow up, husbands become distant and uncaring a safe place for the woman is herself. She should wear the best she can for all that she has been through in her life.
That means the red dress. Expectations are gone, naivety too, and there is no more need for a mature woman to make herself pretty for someone else than her.
The red dress brings up the boldness, lust for life, and the motivation to move on.
After every break-up with a man or friend, the grown woman knows she still has herself. She always will.
In the bottle of wine and tears drawn, the woman becomes a better version of herself, a wiser one. A load of worries begins to become chaotic until it fades.
The problematic figure becomes the best sanctuary that hides the purer soul of one wiser woman.
The red dress also brings strength to fight with daily routines. The woman sees a different point of view. She begins to accept that she will not be young again and that no more men will chase her because she is now an equal partner that can not be easily impressed.
Undoubtedly, that makes her proud and feel unworthy because she is not a stereotyped media model, fading away.
The problem here comes if the woman doesn’t accept herself as she is.

If the woman doesn’t accept her flaws, it is not good. She will not grow up. Here comes low self-esteem with phrases like: “I am not pretty, nobody will take me” or “I have nothing to do with my life anymore”.

May I ask why?

For example, you gave birth, and you have to see your kid at the prom. Probably the kids are grown, and you are alone at home. Asking me, that is a great thing, to learn something new and enrich your life. You can dance, write and do whatever you like. Nobody will watch or judge you.

Or you may be a successful business lady?

So you did it, girl! There is always a reason to feel proud and to move on.
Life is too short for any delays, so it should be enlightening daily.
After I gave birth to my kid, I became stronger and healthier. Now I am great at dancing Zumba and also in blogging. My discipline is better, and I am more organized. If an ordinary woman like me can do it, all can do it too.
All is about the mind’s peace. As soon as women accept they can do all they want to, they will do it. They understand they are on their own. No man can bring a woman back to life. But she can do it.
I also bought a red dress, and I wear it proudly. I never thought to try to wear a red dress. But now I can feel myself in it. All my experiences and bittersweet life lessons are my honor.
Is it true my luck in my love life is missing, but do I need any outside love? It will come when the time is right.
Women with red dresses are great partners. They will not suffocate men and will not accept some sweet-coated words without actions. That is happiness and wearing a proudly red dress.

It was Long ago Sheakspere told it: “Do you know why I am happy? Because I do not expect anything from anyone.”

In the end, after every hard life lesson, women go proudly with their makeup, stilettos, and red nails too.

Or should I say like my friend and Zumba trainer Irene Barrera “When life is hard, let’s dance through it!”

Wearing a red dress is a thing that all women should remember when they are feeling bad.
Your dress is unique and meaningful. Just imagine it and collect its pieces.