Is Nostalgia Path To Prison?

Dedication to the Past Mind Seasons.

Today I still wonder

Is the nostalgia

Reflection of past

With bittersweet feelings

Regarding the present

That overcame the wrath

Of shattered illusions

In a faraway heart?

While I keep on thinking

I feel happy that were

People that I cherished

To my future memoir

I’ll paint with my fingers

Or words that regard

My happy memories

With every man I loved

It’s a bit of happiness

The experiences I got

Holding my hairsprings

I left it on their beds

Before I got stunned

And went far abroad

When Remembrances flow

Free from the beatings

Of healed scars that were hideous

While holding the feathers

Of nostalgia’s birds

That met between distances

And crossed their roads

It’s somehow the sweetness

That came into my soul

Creating the prison

On my drawing call

Once put on the paper

There is no turning back point

Because the lies went unfold

But I feel grateful

I met my soulmates at some point

And continued living

Alone on my road

Then kept on connecting

Because I have no random Amor

Looking for someone

To name man my own

But I still haven’t found him

Maybe only God knows

Until then I keep moving

With Nostalgia as a companion

Building the Mind’s Prison

Almost no one broke

Because when somebody enters

I may lose my route

If there aren’t both of us

That walk side by side long

*****

Nostalgia is a curious feeling. It creates prison and freedom equally. People feel free. After all, they express themselves in drawing, writing, or another way. At the same time, nostalgic prisoners have given their heart’s keys to other people who lost or broke them. That creates the mind’s prison – a trap in past situations. It takes a lot of time to move on from them. At least, for me.

Even so, memories are the pieces that create an aura and make the soul unique.

It’s a fact that life is worth it if there are more smiles, happy moments, and precious feelings that may not last but happen. That is the reason I am grateful for everything I experienced until now, both in love, family, friendships, and career.

My love for Shakespeare is also not random. I live by his quote: “Do you know why I am happy? I do not expect anything from anyone.”

Rebirth – Poem

is

Proof Time Heals Everything, and the Person becomes a Butterfly That Flies Free.

Time flew away

Silently in the moments

Of waiting for you, my Love.

I do not want you to stay

It’s not some win or prey.

I can always see you above

When I look at the skyline

Or the sun touches my V-neck line

It would be good if you were mine

But you aren’t at this time.

When I watch the clouds

I remember your eyes smiled.

Tenderness’ brown of sunrise

I saw your irises spark

There were times I was in the dark

Of the deeper environment –

Your labyrinth of the heart.

Now I am afar

Because you wanted me to.

I feel like I misunderstood

But maybe I wasn’t.

I went through the pain of rebirth

Here, I find that my pride is understood.

******

Is it Freedom or Loneliness?

Many people misunderstand both because they’re similar. Freedom is expressing yourself in the best possible way, without being a slave to society’s norms and judgments. Loneliness is the power to organize and focus thoughts, actions, and mindset toward goals pursuit. Being lonely means puzzle-solving personal life for a time being.

In that way of thinking, I want to share my yesterday’s experience while I watched a theatrical performance based on one of my favorite writers – Alexander Dumas – son. The spectacle was about “The Lady with the camellias.” It was an emotionally breaking performance that brought me to tears. I feel no shame in crying when my heart is touched by music, film, spectacle, etc., and feel everything intensely.

The “The Lady with the camellias” story is valid today because people choose if they want to love or money and power. The main heroine decided to fall in love but she couldn’t escape her past life. The main message of that performance was in short: “People stay with you until you’re in the spotlight. But, when you die, no one throws a flower on the dead person’s coffin”.

It was a bittersweet story for the most beautiful lady in Paris, who fell in love and died from it. She made worse choices in her past life and listened to society’s opinion. She sacrificed happiness for her lover’s family and he didn’t understand.

In the end, the man “The Lady with the camellias” loved, and humiliated her to understand later she was the true love of his life. He was the only one who threw a flower on her coffin and wanted to move it to see her face one last time. That scene made me cry, and I felt cut inside – the man became pale when opened the ark to see a skeleton.

The main male character decided to write a book about his love for her beautiful and dead lover. It’s a real story as far as I know. A dream about romance like that sometimes crosses my mind, but without the death part. It’s because of my romantic nature.

Was it right or wrong?

Was the fight for love worth it or not?

The books of Alexander Duma – father and son are the most precious readings I experienced. They are valid today because love, betrayal, humiliation, and misunderstandings are strong suits.

The performance “The Lady with the camellias” was a quick reminder for me to live my life to its fullest. One day I will die too, but I prefer cremation to have no one to throw a flower on my coffin. It sounds sad and crazy, but it’s the truth.