Feelings

Nothing To Say Anymore – Poem

Nothing to say anymore

Nothing To Say Anymore – Poem

is

The moment When People Part Ways Emotionally.

There was a time when my life was in your eyes

Now, these moments are like far memory that flies

I have lived long in my fantasy with you

Knowing that everything is my parallel truth

A wish that I hold dear and made me dying

Between the burden of the savior and lying

That everything is going to be alright

We will manage to hold each other tight

And now I know I am not in your world

As you are not in mine, it was like an ancient scroll

That cannot recreate as a whole

Because there is a missing ingredient

The love between us was solely my patent

And when a person is fighting alone

There is nothing else to be done

Then walking away with the crown

Of past feelings, long overdue gone

There is nothing to say anymore

I feel empty when I write to you, prone

To accept your mercy of a single word

I do not want to do this anymore

I am not miserable to be loved crow

By someone who is for me not here anymore

Putting a powerful line: “I am good on my own”

And you are, indeed, without a doubt

So now is the right time to let you go

It will hurt, but I should stay strong

I do not want to be invincible anymore

With all of this coldness and fear to love

Someone like me who opened my soul

Between your eyes, but I became a ghoul

Waiting for you to hold my hand when I fall

And when I reached out, I ended up alone

By polite words to make me feel cold

Pushed off by the stroll

Of my heart’s sanctuary

Everything happened punctually

There is nothing to say anymore

I accepted it because I do know

Speaking with me is your load.

*****

The poem says it clearly. Fairytales go wrong sometimes. Or should I say most of the time?

In my life, I had a few romances that ended badly. Most of them shattered me. I went broke inside and re-collected my heart pieces to create a crystal. My crystal is worth protecting and I became not as easy prey as before. That is my mantra recently.  Crystals usually are alone and hard to find but it’s better to be that way than share mud with people who do not appreciate my presence in their lives. Arrogant or not, that’s my evolution after every breakup of a fairytale romance I started in my head with people who do not care for my personality.

The end is evident when there is nothing to say between two people or a lack of will for that.  I have been there many times in every kind of relationship. Sorrow, pain, betrayal – every human met them. It hurts every time and takes many tears to recover but after the emotional rain is gone, things inside the soul are brighter.

Accepting the situations as they are is a must because only that way people grow in character. Today, I cut ties with those who go on my nerves, trying to prove they’re right to be fake. It’s a lonely fight for justice, but every second is worth it.

I may become a sinner or egoist, but it’s because life taught me that way. Being good is naive and inevitable for my character, but when fed up, I walk away in silence. Whoever understands or not, both ways are okay for me.

Calming Sadness Opens A New Road Ahead

Calming Sadness opens New road

Calming Sadness Opens A New Road Ahead

Because

Every Rose Has Thorns

Sitting in today’s solitude and calming sadness, I think about my new road ahead.

I believe there are times in people’s lives when they overcome every past pain and start to look for a  path from now on.

It has been a long and loveless year. I used to have someone by my side back in 2021. It doesn’t hurt anymore in the way it did before. Times changed and I accepted my thorns. There is a song I love to listen to when times are challenging – “Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain.”

Indeed, the reality is like that, but people understand it later on in their lives.

While I suppressed my emotions back in time, going from one relationship to another, in 2022, I stopped, growing strong as never before. There is a truth that after a breakup, the wisest choice to heal is singlehood.  I am fully healed today, and that boosts my energy, helping me to find a new life’s path ahead.

I used to cry a lot, feeling every bad memory with my soul’s fibers but keeping myself busy at all costs. That saved my life from depression. I fell apart in my heart, but that way I recollect the pieces of it, creating a beautiful monument. The sadness was my main calmer and motivator that kept me going out of the heartache’s endless maze.

Today, I am careful who will look or touch my monument because I am not the easy and lonely prey anymore.

Calming Sadness

The beginning of Autumn starts with nostalgia summer. For me, October brought health problems for my loved people. The sadness I hid for a while, came back to me with full force.

A person’s heart has its limits and no more fighting power left. Distracted from the outside world, my tears and creative writing, in that phase, healed me from past sorrow.  I am grateful they did, and I recommend when people want to cry, do it because where a tear falls, a light arises.

Sadness is not a negative emotion. It reminds people they are mortal humans who should accept the situations as they are and move on.

When nervous, people are not in their right minds and if the relaxation doesn’t help, tears do. Suppressed feelings come out easily through sadness, and there is the survival need to cry or channel energy into something that may cause weeping. When emotions are released, the human heart finds freedom of expression, which is one step closer to a reborn and authentic self.

A New Road Ahead

There is a saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” but I paraphrase it as “The road to heaven is paved with bad experiences.”

Wisemen often speak about personal paradise through the mind’s peace and self-acceptance. Not many wise people talk about the motivation to look for the earthly Eden in the human body. Coaches always speak neutrally about the individual.

Life’s road is indeed personal. It’s an unrealistic fact that people, who make out-of-box choices fail because they achieve their goals slower. Comfortable roads are not for everyone.

When the sadness goes away, there is nothing else to do outside accepting the new situation. People are learning daily from their emotions, mistakes, and unforeseen choices’ consequences. Running away from thinking about the results of concrete actions doesn’t help to grow and mature. Accepting them before stepping on a new life road is a must. It’s good to have a reserve plan too.

Every Rose Has Thorns

Red roses are my favorite flowers. I prefer to watch them in the garden, not in a vase because they die there as I will if I stay in the daily routines for longer than needed.

When I was younger, my father put five rose seeds in the house’s garden. Today, the roses are still there, prettier than before. The reason for their beauty is their thorns which protect them from outside invasions. The same goes for people – if they are not grown well or without their not-so-good habits, they will become as beautiful as a dead rose in a vase.

One person should be accepted with all the faults and be taken care of to grow healthy but without cutting the thorns. They are part of the charming aura humans have. Without flaws, a person is not a whole. When someone is in love, they should love their partner’s dark sides and be aware of them well.

Do you love your darkness and accept it? 

If yes, you will love your fated person too. The negative reply will unravel a lot of people’s lack of ability to build healthy relationships with life’s roses. That is well-explained in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry‘s “The Little Prince” novel. Reading it at least three times in life is necessary to understand the beauty of living – as a child, an adult, and an elder.

Calming Sadness is the purest human emotion, which opens eyes and shows a New road, choice, or improvement ahead.

Thank you for reading, and as a background to listen to, and think about, I recommend that playlist.

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