Family Archives - "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"

Wasting the happiness potential.

Certain people, with their actions, provoked me to write what I write now- It is ugly indeed, but it is the truth.

I like to use it as a wake-up call to people regarding their dignity and remaining honor as a part of their family.

I speak about a house person’s complex.

It is a sentence I see fit and applies toward house persons. I do not blame people who choose to stay home and take care of the household, but I find it highly inappropriate to cheat your partner until you’re home and are bored. I speak about the period when kids are old enough to care about themselves. They do not need their parent’s help anymore.

House people sit at home, doing nothing about improving themselves or their relationship with the other parent of their kids.

Usually, when house people have free time, they look at their phones.

They start to flirt online or play mobile video games.

They do not make something to develop themselves and the family’s dynamic.

I am highly disappointed in parents with kids that hate their partners but stay with them, using them for money. They don’t take steps to improve themselves in any better version. These house people use chats and games to fantasize about some wind-whirling romance, and they stop working on their own in reality.

In the end, they are left alone and unloved by their real-life partner. Of course, the one parent will leave the broken family’s relationship, taking the kids.

Is that not a high price for false online romance?

That is a form of cheating too. The situation will lead to worse activities. Domestic abuse may pop up, and divorce may follow. Kids will see and apply it in their adult lives.

The time spent online should be used purposefully on self-improving or caring for the stability of the family’s unit. Most people today indeed lead single-parent life.

But, if there is a possibility to stay in a whole family, and both partners want to work on it, there should be a better free online time investment.

I do not understand how it is possible to choose an online date, and then do your best to improve your family situation. I also had some online crushes, but they stood where their place is – online. And I am not proud, I have been there where many house persons are now. I understand the reasons behind flirting online, but I do not accept them to be the reason to neglect your real-life family.

Fantasies for love are way too deep in our current lives, but the truth is different. To love someone, you need to love yourself.

Currently, If I have to choose between an online flirt and an online course to improve my skills, my choice will be the course.

House persons, with free time, should work toward making themselves better parents and spouses. Looking for love online when you have chosen to be with someone, and have children, is not meaningful.

At least, the marriage deserves a chance to improve. If all possibilities for improvement between both parents are used up, then packing the bags, and those of the kids, come in handy.

The house persons should leave or try to save their marriages if they are not happy.

Sitting at home cheating with an online lover is pitiful. Either break up with him and work on yourself or stay with him, breaking your child and spouse’s hearts.

There should be a choice people make.

But, there can be not having both online and family love. It is disgusting and fake and will give a bad example to the children involved.

But yes, humans make mistakes and bear their consequences.

Even so, that is not making a person justified – it makes it look irresponsible.

My point is, the house persons should lead a loyal and faithful marriage life, trying their best to improve and save what they have. If there is nothing in that marriage to save, people better leave it clean and proudly.

Tolerance between marriage partners has its limits. Remember the reasons why you married that person. When the connection between both spouses has shattered, sitting and doing nothing will not help.
House persons should think carefully about what consequences will bring their boredom and time-killing choices will reflect in their family life.

Yes, it is true “Love is found anywhere,” but before stepping into the numerous outside marriage’s relationship, think first about what you want to achieve from it.

Do you have the guts to drop what you have, taking your children with you?

If you do not have the courage, strength, and will to sacrifice what you have and go on your single hard life path, stop until it is not too late.

My experience is by being in online relationships and giving away too many chances to my former, almost, spouse.

Think for the future and see the bigger life picture.

lf people bear the consequences of their own choices if they are brave enough to accept them.

Careful thinking about every step in the lives before and after separation gives the answers if cheating is meaningful for people’s lives.

Society always claims single parents. The separated partner with a kid meets a lot of hardships and lacks support. I take personal the question about single moms because I see it as discrimination.

It is hard for a woman to decide to leave the father of her child. If the climate at home is full of emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, these problems need to be resolved immediately. That situation is unhealthy for both partners in a relationship, and for the kid is a destructive emotion.

If the father takes no part in the engagements around the child and doesn’t care for the mother, this is not a good sign. The family begins to crumble.

The mother decides to leave or not the father for years. She overthinks everything. When she leaves the broken home with the kid, she faces many hardships – finances, emotions, solitude, and unacceptance.

The relationships between parents are the basis one kid has to build own family in the future. If the man or the woman doesn’t treat each other with love, care, and respect, the kid will do the same when it is an adult.

For example: if the man abuses the woman in a verbal, emotional, or physical way, the son will think that is normal in the relationship. If the kid is female, she will see the abuse l toward her in her future marriage as the norm.

Some mothers got beaten up by their husbands and son at the same time. Because the kid thinks it is a proper way to show his love. He saw that after all from his father.

The women often stay in relationships with their men because of the child or economic reasons. Generally speaking, that, in my opinion, is low self-esteem and cowardly.

The truth is that children always prefer to see their parents happy, even single. Other situation makes the family unhappy, but together in quarrels. Children cry from this situation and feel like they are at fault. Whatever speech parents use, actions always show the truth.

Reasons for the moms to leave the unhappy relationship after many years of thinking are few.

No actions by the man for anything
Feeling like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation
The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine.
No equal partnership in obligations for home and kid care
No activities together as a family
They are fed up to be slaves for men’s every wish
Lack of self-development because of no personal time
No build-up between both partners

When a woman observes that her husband does no action for anything, she is highly disappointed. Once, at the first stages of courtship and moving in together, the man acted a lot regarding support and everything related to the couple’s life. With years gone by and no quality communication, and sincere support, he took her for granted.

The lack of physical, emotional, and intellectual communication to build a strong personality bond makes the woman feel like an unwanted piece of trash in isolation. Once hit that phase, it is a matter of time for the woman to leave the man if he doesn’t do anything.

All people need to feel treasured, appreciated, and respected for who they are.

Women need special attention all the time because they are more into words and emotions than men. Of course, the words should be proved by actions. The same goes for the women toward their men too.

With this phase not resolved, The relationship doesn’t develop and becomes routine. Once the bad feelings of both partners in the family are not solved, the relationship dies. It becomes dull and groovy without a single spark. That situation may lead to mutual love affairs, and the partners will not even feel bad about it.

That makes the woman feel alone in the relationship. She feels like she fights alone for the family. That makes her more distant from her partner. She stops caring for her needs and gives all she got to her kid. That leads to forgetting the partner.

In most cases, this equality in the relationship misses, and the woman does the first steps to go out of it. Let me ask you if you do everything on your own at home, but saying to society you have a partner that does nothing, is that fair to you as a person? The man also can feel that way, but usually, women wear the cross of most obligations on their shoulders.

When there is a child, both parents should participate in taking care of it. But they can do it properly only if the two partners are in tune, feel love, and have deep respect toward each other.

This situation leads to a so-called fake family, in my opinion. No activities together as a family are just random meetings of people who think they are something more. Family trips, picnics, and genuine celebrations are also strengthening the family bond between all family members. But this bond starts first with both parents. If they are not in a deep emotional relationship, it is a matter of time for the fake family to split up, and the kid to stay with the one parent.

Do not get me wrong when I say I am a feminist, but I do not hate men. Sometimes husbands have too many desires and want every single of them to realize immediately. They treat their wives as slaves. That is not good.

Women are human beings and have their limits, patience, dignity, and self-esteem. They also do not like mind games, to be obsessed and controlled. Husbands should treat respectfully the wife. The men often forget how to do that.

Another strong reason for the women to move out of the unfulfilling relationship is the lack of self-development because of no personal time. Everyone needs to self-develop. That is very true for moms in long-term relationships and marriages.

That is the biggest motivation two people have to be in a relationship and move in together. If there is a build-up between the two persons when they go through hardships of life, their union can be long-lasting. The support between a man, and a woman, is based on trust. It proves in the first months of their life together.

I will not lie if I say that staying on your own as a mom is a lonely activity. Women have only their kids, and they understand fully that the only true and unconditional love is between the parent and the child.

Of course, there is always a price to staying the way that woman is. The price is usually loneliness and being single for a very long time. It is a well-known fact that men do not want women with kids for a family.

Single moms have no time to date too much, and they are careful in choosing the man they date. Most moms date online because they have limited time to use social media. There are usually two groups of men that show interest in single moms:

Younger ones look only for a physical relationship without commitment
Older men with their kids that look for a mom for the kids

Both groups of potential partners for single moms have their pros and cons. Dating men’s limit was set by the woman with a child based on her needs. She is smart enough to avoid men who aren’t clear about what they want or give mixed signals.

In both scenarios, the single mom has a short time to decide what she wants and to be transparent in her relationships between dates, children, and the ex-partner.

In most situations, when the parents separate, there is co-parenting. A certain amount of time spent is between the father and the mother.

There rarely will be someone else to catch you when you fall. And the woman should take good care of her child. She needs to learn to take care of herself without expecting someone else to do it.

Nobody needs to feel less important than she is. No one has the right to insult, abuse, or lie to the other partner.

Sources:

10 Things Single Moms Want You To Know – https://mom.com/momlife/things-single-moms-want-you-to-know

12 Reasons Dating as a Single Mom is Better – Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors – https://motherhoodreimagined.com/dating-as-a-single-mom-by-choice/

The Truth about being a single mother – https://www.thebump.com/a/truth-about-being-single-mother