Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly

Rip Out The Wings of A Butterfly?

Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly

And  It will Die

To be Reborn in Something More Beautiful Than Ever Before.


Today my mood is a weird combination of rage, fear of the unknown, un unappreciation of my efforts, and disappointment from a loved person.  Not in a negative way through, it’s more like in shaking one for a better life.

When I feel like that, I listen to my favorite HIM song  “Wings Of A Butterfly” which resonates well with my current feeling and it’s my writing motivation. Parts of its lyrics are the basis of my thinking confession today.

Many people live under the motto “Heaven ablaze in our eyes” and “We’re standing still in time in their emotional unavailability to commit. Past disappointments roar and chain the heart to move on. Reasons are various but more likely worse personal experience.

But, tell me, if that experience didn’t exist, would you be the person you are today, with the new wings of a butterfly?

Recently, I got pissed off with a male who treated me hot and cold. One time I was a friend, another- a lover.  In the end that made me rip out the wings of my love’s butterfly soon enough after we started dating. I’m no one’s accessory or a trophy to be brought around, and I want to know where is my place in someone’s life.

Statements like “This Endless mercy line” known as “Situationship” and “We’re crawling side by side”“Toxic Relationship” should not fit in people’s romantic lives. They’re not worth it and kill the personal and couple’s growth. Situationship and toxic relationships are often used as excuses. Many people, who do not want to fully commit and trust others look for a way to avoid responsibility. It’s one of the reasons many singles stay like that forever.

Romantic disappointments lead to philophobia or obsession with someone. Both scenarios bring no good. They make a lot of damage to couples or individuals. However, it’s something uncontrollable sometimes when the love is too strong.

Indifference between partners is the relationship assassin I find in the With Hell Freezing over in our eyes” sentence. 

People are different and they rarely accept others’ faults. A true bond is when someone knows the worst sides of a partner, friend, or team member, and still stays by his side. When they do not see the good sides and try to change the other’s worst sides which are the spice of the human character, there is no future in the relationship. Feelings freeze then, and people separate.

On the other hand, obsession with someone may lead to crimes. They may be from jealousy, envy, or not having enough time between lovers. Every minute and hour is a treasure for those who love each other. Waiting for a call or text message seems endless and creates false thoughts about the partner being uninterested or cheating. That is the basis for jealousy and obsession. If the individual doesn’t control it, the situation goes crazy, leading to unforgivable actions.

Love is like a butterfly, but if its wings start to rip, it’s better to rip them out.

Yes, that way, the feelings will die in pain, darkness, sorrow, and emptiness, but only that way metamorphose comes to the heart. The next butterfly transformation will be a better one.

Letting go of dead emotions without allowing them to transform the heart into steel is better than kissing adamant. I also experienced that in lovemaking with someone. It kills passion and creates a feeling of being a mistake in someone’s life. That taints the soul which is the only asset we have in our human lives.

In the end, the“Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul, my lovephrase is the best lesson people learn when they meet face-to-face with a painful love experience.

Thank you for reading, and start thinking about where you are currently in your romantic life. I will do the same with you virtually.


Like A Beggar – Poem

Like A Beggar for Kindness

Like A Beggar – Poem


A Sign to keep moving.

I love that poem of mine. It shows me how far I did go from the time I was broken into pieces, and my self-confidence was hitting the ground.


Today was the numerous time

I acted once again like a beggar

For a word from the person

That I deeply loved,

And I looked so pitiful.

I tried to not care

And continued wondering

Why not me in the end?

I know that the story

It’s old like the world

One looks for another

Then they go back to God

Without touching their fingers

Just sitting and wait

For some kind of a miracle

To come from above

But it doesn’t.

One side ends up alone,

Feeling like a burden,

Looking like a clown

To seek pure attention

There, where all is gone.

I know I should be moving

But why I can’t go?

I watch from the corner

Where circles don’t stop

I want to break free

Yet I still can not.

It’s a ridiculous gaming

Is it fair to be like a stone?

When someone is hurting

Isn’t inhumane to ignore?

But maybe it’s better

For me to finally stop

Chasing a mirage

I can’t get out of my head.

Because like a beggar

I will lose my self-worth.

Sometimes I am dreaming

For a dark knight in armor

That could make me a killer

Of the pain, I had self-grown.

Or maybe I need it –

Someone to be my savior

I feel like a weakling

That deserts from the fault

Of staying delusional.

Begging is a symbol of weakness and pain. The Lover’s attention is good, but usually, people are in unrequited feelings.

It’s self-humiliation to ask for a gesture or nice word from someone who avoids you.

When enamored, humans forget their self-worth, becoming defenseless. That is normal but not appreciated. I know it well because I did it many times and continued until I saw myself looking pitiful, even in my eyes. It is a challenge for me to crash that attitude pattern of mine, but with enough practice, my success is guaranteed.

What about other’s parties’ eyes?

In most cases, they do not care but play a guilty feeling game. The sorrow here is only for the person in love who wants to stay connected with the other one. Is painful to watch and is not worth staying where you’re not wanted or seen as something more than another piece of flesh.

When I like someone, I  go blind to the red flags like not replying or calling me back. Some will say men are shy – No, they are not and find me uninteresting or banal. I used to feel unworthy of males’ attention a few months ago, but now I know I am sexy enough for the right eyes to see me. Well, I am still waiting for them though.

 I decided today to stop even thinking about someone who does not find 5 minutes to read or reply to me. I released myself from the old attitude patterns. Men are free to go and I do not need ignorance’s games. My love is too much to be lost, missed, or avoided, so I put it in my Zumba classes and the blog because I got fed up with relationships hiding and seeking.

Maybe I should listen again to Elsa’s “Let it go” song because of my huge and numerous disappointment with males’ cowardly attitude. Most of them can not even say “I do not like you, and do not waste my time”.

It is better to cut painfully once and for all than to give fake hopes. I do the talk that way.
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