In That Life Of Differences
Everyone has it. The irritating feeling that makes you wiser and stronger toward yourself.
When love is unrequited, humans grow to love themselves more because no one else will do it.
Love can be found at different ages.
Some of them may happen online while others – in a surprising meeting in strange places.
It takes some time to release that the love is growing inside the human’s heart.
Based on my recent activity in the virtual world, I met one-sided love. That crush is far from the experience of being in someone’s arms, but it creates imaginary attraction.
The man I met, was charismatic and had a bit aggressive personality. He certainly stood out from the crowd. Women loved him for his individuality when the men respected him for his opinion.
I got attracted to him with daily steps and from our talks.
When this man was not online in the internet world, I missed his presence.
That made me realize I fell for him as some irrational young girl.
When he told me he has a girlfriend, that made me come down on earth.
My real life has not connected to his in any way, and the feeling of love was not mutual. It didn’t matter how much I cried because I felt broken.
Things wouldn’t ever change.
That man told me I should not be jealous of him and that he sees me only as a friend. But his actions sometimes felt like he is into me.
Today, I realize this all was only an illusion created by my mind.
Even so, I continued to be obsessed with him.
Because of this one-sided love, I lost myself for a short time. It was for good.
I knew the both of us could not be a thing, because of our different lifestyles.
That man lived in the night and I – in the day.
Idealists and romanticists often believe that love conquers all.
The thought of this is good when people are young and with no engagements.
The reality of older persons is different because they should think not emotionally.
When people feel the heat when they see someone for the first time, this is usually just lust. These things or people that are different make humans curious.
Why falling into a one-sided love affair is a good lesson?
Because this shows what people should not idealize.
The virtual love story is the seeing of the desired human.
Many people are lonely, but with huge pretendings about their partners or eventual dates.
In the real world, ideal humans do not exist. Virtual reality is something else. There everyone can be whoever he or she wants. In the online world, the appearance is fake, and so is the character too.
Whatever the situation is, even a virtual crush is a love story. But as the most epic love stories, online ones are also not meant to be.
It is said that when far from eyes, far from the heart. And it is true.
I wanted this man a lot, and he flirted with me too. Even so, we never saw us on video chat to check each other’s facial expressions. That situation was funny because everyone can speak beautiful words. With a lack of actions on the other side, speaking is like sugar-coated stupid talk.
The man I met never looked for me outside the game we played together. I wrote to him on discord, but he replied to me rarely with irritation.
Or so I thought, my intuition seldom lies.
I created an illusion that his game character sent my gifts because he cared. That was not the case. He told me clearly that this is just a game, but I am grateful he did.
It is always better to speak the truth than to lie and create more delusions.
So my short game romance ended badly. The man I liked left the game for good. I left it too and began to live my life anew.
Even if we continued playing, without communication outside the virtual world and with him having a girlfriend, this love story would end.
I am glad I met this man because that proved to me I was capable of having feelings, even unrequited ones.
I missed the passion and the tremble of waiting for someone. It is good I have lost my mind to become a better version of myself.
Sadly, many love stories do not happen because of different circumstances that can be overcome if there is a will.
People should have more rejections than lies with words and lack of action. That is the only way they can take a look for themselves again.