I am very excited these days because I started my Zumba instructor training. That changed my mindset in so positive-emotional wave that I can not sleep thinking about the steps I will show in my future Zumba class.
I spend a lot of time outside to recharge because I work on my Poetry book “Mori Monologues” and write actively.
The recent posts I have read online were only about disappointing dating experiences. I also have some, but I do not care about them anymore since my mind occupies with Zumba and Poetry.
I saw rays of hope for true love the last few days when I was out to listen to live music, and I have met new people in real life.
Last Friday, I went to a live music place in my town. A famous Bulgarian singer sang. His niece was there with her boyfriend. She stepped on the stage, singing and playing the guitar. To my taste, the girl was not enough emotionally into her songs and I didn’t feel her. The people in the cafe left, but she enjoyed her performance.
The thing that amazed me that evening was the Devotion I saw in that girl’s boyfriend. He left everything else and concentrated on her performance, making a video of her best moment on the stage. He supported her with every fiber of his body. I loved the image of both persons in love. The girl sang three songs, and they hugged and held hands. It was a unique experience for me as a skeptical romanticist that there is still true love somewhere out there and humanity.
That made me happy. I never envy people in love. I applaud their happiness. It makes me believe that I can find true love treasure too.
The story I heard last weekend about love’s light tunnel hope made me speechless too.
I went out with the mind to dance Salsa.
Sunday and Tuesday in my Seatown, there is a free Salsa party. In the club, that night were no dancers. I and my friend went to an unusual place.
I do not drink beer in the pubs, but still, they are popular. I ordered my glass of rose wine.
There were no free places, and a man and a woman invited us to join them because they would like to go soon. We started the casual talk, and both people did not go. The woman was older than the man, and I liked him as a person, thinking he was her friend. He said they both are married.
Wow! I was amazed by the pride I felt when he said that. In true love, there is no age difference.
It was fascinating for me, who had always evaded marriage because my parent’s family was broken when I was young. That man and his woman have 21 years difference, and it was my first-time experience communicating with that type of couple. I was surprised by how deep their love is despite the age difference.
I have never seen a thing like that in a similar age couple, and even in the standard young girl-older gentleman pair.
These two people connected on a deep level I could not imagine since I never felt it. After so many years together they still keep their flame toward each other. Looking into each other’s eyes they knew every single thought they had and the tenderness surrounding them. They indeed complemented each other in many fields.
I was shocked in a good way where True Love finding is.
I started to think about where I live.
Are they some aliens or live in another universe?
These days I was a witness to true love I never imagined I would see. Of course, that inspired me to write more love and humanity stories because there is still a light of hope for human salvation before they become materialistic robots. I know it may sound weird, but I always choose and will keep doing it – to look at the bright side of the situation when meeting new people. Many persons I know, speak only for interests when it comes to love. I am a believer that it is not always about interest when feelings are involved.
I prefer being disappointed by my naive belief in the good of people and will not change that. It is my core and the foundation I built my character.
Key takes /if someone cares about them/ for the Love’s tunnel:
*Life is happening outside virtual reality, and true love is there. *Changing mindset opens new eyes and doors to the human soul that are unknown. * People should drop off the act of false friendliness and become sincere involved with others’ lives they meet in reality.
Thank you for reading, and I am going off to my real Zumba life-changing experience that led me outside the box of virtual situations. The disappointing romantic experience stopped me from living my life. But, they are part of my past, and I embrace them with pride because they made me who I am today.
That question always made me wonder. It is of great significance for men and women. Relationships between people are complicated.
When we speak about love relationships, especially unrequited, feelings the situation becomes more complex.
“Why not me?” is always the first question when we see we fall for someone who is cold and distant toward us or gives mixed signals.
Since I have rich experience in overthinking the “Why not me?” question because my unrequited loves are a crowd, I will try to answer it sincerely. It may help all who take the time to read what I have written, and they can find themselves in my words. The bright side of one-sided love is that every time a person gets rejected, that becomes expected, and it doesn’t hurt too much.
Sometimes it is funny how people that reject you try to play innocent.
They show they are worried, but indeed they are not. Of all rejecting lines, the most popular is “I see you as a friend” or “I do not love you as more than a friend”.
Both sentences are hypocritical because why do people flirt with just a friend?
They should say they do not like you, hurt others hard, and make them move on with their dignity and honor. People need to walk away gracefully from those who cause them pain. The friendship story’s crap people tell because of politeness.
But that politeness will not save a person’s heart from breaking. There is a big difference between friendship and love, in my opinion. Friends can become lovers, but lovers back to friends rarely. In the case of rejection of a friend in the first stages of falling in love, it is possible to become a strong friendship after some time apart, when the rejected person heals.
The pain of rejection is intoxicating and a wake-up call.
There is a pearl of old wisdom “What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger” – and it is just like that. As soon as people walk away from the unrequited love, they become persons with a stronger mentality. I know it is hard to let go of someone who liked or loved deeply, but the ties with the one-sided love should cut at least for a while until the mind and heart calm down.
After all, at the end of life, people have only themselves. Throughout the life journey, the persons should be the best version of themselves toward other humans and living beings. Giving as much kindness as people should not be for the price of self-sacrifice. After all, self-worth attracts love and understanding.
Now, let’s see the “Why not me?” question’s reasons:
Not ready for a relationship;
Not over the ex-lover or loving someone else;
Lack of will to deal with another’s personal feelings;
Not being ready for a relationship;
In today’s life, that situation is the most common reason to not step into a relationship. Many people are obsessed with their work and problems with their parents or siblings. Or they do not want to have a relationship at the current moment in their lives. That is perfectly fine because when people have no peace of mind or clear vision of what they want, a relationship may make them more uncertain. A forced relationship just because to be in a relationship is a bad idea.
Currently, I do not need a relationship too. Many people should first collect themselves from the past wounds and build their new hearts home because the purity of heart is all we have.
For the heart to be pure, people need to build walls first for a while to understand better what they want from themselves, their lives, and their eventual partner.
When people are not ready to jump into a relationship, they should control their lust for doing the jump because if they don’t, their hearts will be more broken than before. I say it from experience.
Last year, I went straight away from one relationship to another, and I ended up so broken on a deep level that I hardly can heal, but time takes care of me. I wish no one my experience, so I gladly share my piece of wisdom. When people are not ready to give something valuable in their eventual relationship, they should stay single until their heads clear up.
A relationship is giving, and inspiring the partner, not whining, and blaming the universe. My case now is similar because I finally found my “Why not me?” question’s answer. I can’t give any man that flirts or speaks with me what he deserves for a love relationship.
The reason is that I have more serious work to make myself a whole than to project my disappointment and drama on other people.
I keep myself emotionally unavailable until the time I find myself. That is why I block almost all communication with potential baes in the beginning. I am not proud of this, but it is the best solution for participants in the flirt game because if things go deep, I can’t jump into a serious relationship now, after so many breakups. I do not want to give empty promises or unrealistic hopes.
Another example I can give of not being ready for a relationship is from one of my male friends. He is quite ambitious about his work, and he sees the eventual relationship as a distraction in his work field. That is the reason why he looks only for physical contact with women, but after some adventures, he said to me he doesn’t want to make women pregnant and stays solo until he is ready to commit.
Many people are like me, and him at the moment. In that situation, my opinion is it’s better to not talk about any prospect of a love relationship, and not even think about it if people are not ready to open themselves to others.
When a person is not ready for a relationship in his heart and mind, it’s a high possibility of heartbreak.
Of course, if someone is too brave and patient to break the heart’s walls, meeting the worst behind them, the love magic can happen. But that is almost an unrealistic tale.
Many people do not go into a relationship because they are not over their ex-partner or love someone else.
They may even not know it or want to accept it. The facts are most relationships fell apart because one of the partners in the new relationship is not over the ex-partner. Or even both partners did not let go of the former lover. They compare the new partner with the old one and can’t accept the personality traits they meet in the current crush.
Some people love routines, and they change them hardly. That doesn’t work in any relationship because people are different and unique. Adaption and acceptance is the main point in the relations. It happens that some humans use others to forget their ex-lovers. That happened to me too, and it is painful.
Competing with the ex-date is impossible because the current partner and his ex have a long relationship story. The new page of every love it’s written only if both parties want to write it. If only one partner wants to put any effort into the new relationship, it is a matter of time before its end.
When a partner is still in love with another person, nothing can change because feelings are not something that moves from place A to place B, and the heart is also not a thing that can order what and when to do something.
The mind’s logic doesn’t always win when there is a battle between it and the heart.
It is a big mistake when a person still loves somebody else to join a relationship with an innocent human who only wants to be loved and give all the love to the partner. Both sides suffer because the one partner always dreams and imagines things he does with the current partner to have done with the other person he loves.
The worst-case scenario is that the current partner knows the truth and stays in the wrecked relationship because of love. It is ruining. What I mean is when a person makes love with their current partner to see the face of the person they love.
I wish not that feeling even the enemies I have in my life. It is like going to hell and back, losing all dignity, honor, and pride. No one deserves to feel or look pitiful. With one of my ex-partners, I felt that way exactly. Many other people I know have been through a situation like that. It is emotionally and physically burning on a stake.
I have a good friend who said to me that he prefers to be a playboy who looks only for sex because he lacks the will to deal with another person’s feelings.
At first, I was shocked, but now I understand his point of view better. Many people feel lonely with themselves. They are obsessed with having a relationship with anyone. That makes them anxious and not good in their minds.
I have been in that situation before because the loneliness sometimes is overwhelming.
The forced dealing with other people’s feelings is also destructive for the individual and his life. When in a relationship with someone with unsolved problems, a person can play the role of mother or sister, but not a partner and lover.
After all, everyone has his parents and siblings, and they do not need to replace him with another person.
A serious relationship is when both partners are equal and work for the bond to grow up and become stronger. That is the main point of the family between two people.
However, many people like my friend do not want to play the role of savior, mother, brother, or cousin. That is the right way of thinking.
When someone plays a parent in a relationship for a long time, they lose themselves.
The purpose of a relationship is for two authentic persons to make a wholly happy and strong couple. Otherwise is not needed even to try to make a relationship works. That is what I think.
To have a fulfilling relationship, the partners should work a lot on themselves to make things right. They should go on that adventure with all they have. Dealing with another person’s feelings is not healthy and is not needed because it can become slavery, bringing no positivity to the life of the partners.
In conclusion, the “Why not me?” question has many answers based on people’s experiences, state of mind, or the needs of the body and heart.
Facts about that question give a lot of pain, but also self-awareness. In the unrequited love situation, it is better to look after the real reasons behind the rejection. That knowledge helps not make the same mistakes after the heart heals from the one-sided love.
The truth I can say for sure about my unrequited loves is that they were real for me, and I gave all to the persons I tried to be within a relationship.
After every rejection, I learned more about myself and what I want from a relationship. Of course, I felt broken many times, but I find peace in writing my feelings down on Wattpad because living in neverending love drama sure is not my thing.
Thanks to my one-sided love crowd, I am the strong woman I am today. I do not suggest having too much experience in unrequited love.
Nevertheless, I highly recommend everyone to do a lot of thinking carefully after every breakup or rejection to make sure what made things go wrong. If the reasons are in the person and they projected their uncertainty to another person, it is not good. If the reasons are in another part of the relationship, then the other participants in the dating have a problem with high expectations. High or perfect expectations lead to huge disappointments and a walk away from the potential relationship.
Unrequited love sometimes happens because people do not listen to their inner voices but to others. It doesn’t matter if the others are family, friends, or elders. The pain of one-sided love makes people grow up and upgrade their emotional intelligence level.
Only when they are emotionally stable, comprehensible in their heads, and accept their intuition, does a relationship blossom. Even so, fear of the “Why not me?” question is normal these days, and it is a must for a person to mature.
There is a saying that a broken heart gives the best life lessons.
That is the truth because, without these life lessons, people stay like babies that do not know how to take steps, and always will need someone to guide them. For the perfect relationship, a person should be imperfect but whole.