Behind The Confident Woman Lie Many Disappointments

Behind The Confident Woman Lie Many Disappointments

Behind The Confident Woman Lie Many Disappointments

is dedicated to smiling women.

Everyone likes confident women. But how many people ask how these ladies become the way they are?

Almost nobody. The male crowd roars they want a confident, positive, and smiling woman who gives comfort like a sofa or something. But giving peace to men costs many women many disappointments in their past. I won’t join the never-ending discussion of “men want that, women – this” or something because it seems sexist.

Maybe giving peace costs a  lot for males too, but my today’s confession is dedicated to the girls who try their best to please, without expectations, their lovers. That’s wrong because a healthy relationship is about giving and receiving feelings from both sides.

When a man says: “I do not want anyone to have expectations of me,”  it means he wants to be single and have fun around. Meanwhile, the girl who loves him becomes one deeply reserved plan taken for granted. It was a long time until I finally realized my heart’s truth regarding a similar situation. My thought was it was about unconditional love, which is something different.

There are a few questions about why women today became the confident way they are.

The confident woman became that way when she met disappointments that broke her heart or career. She felt like a failure but didn’t give up on depression for a long time because she understood that there is no other way out, except her moving on. No tears, screams, or pain will make a lady happy and loved. But if there is no man to love her, she should accept that and tries her best to love herself.

In their darkest hours, confident women were alone. Nobody called or tried to listen to their story.  Here comes the question regarding how the lady’s friends never asked how she was doing for a long time and the answer is simple: they did not care about her.

If someone doesn’t speak, message or call for a while, maybe it’s good to check on them. It should be like that, I suppose. But is it?

Every kind of relationship should be two-sided. When there is no second side, women go on their own, losing their trust. Then, they have nothing left outside of becoming confident in themselves since there is nobody else around to be proud of their accomplishments

I don’t mean people should do everything for others, but they, at least, should show care with their actions. Meanwhile, inaction is a choice to let go or slide off something or someone in a silent way. People call it “ghosting,” but it’s an escape. It’s a bit hypocritical but smiling at someone’s face and leaving them alone when they turn back is a hit nowadays.

Understanding the woman’s confidence through disappointments.

The most popular disappointment is unrequited love. The women start to think they do things wrong and are not enough for the objects of their affection. However, the situation is simpler: the men do not like the woman who likes them. It’s because they’re emotionally unavailable or have too many pretenses. After all, the dating world today, especially online, is too big and people do not want to commit since they can have various one-night stands to feed their egos and physical needs.

When a woman faces unrequited love many times, she becomes broken and expects every next male to say to her “I like you as a friend, but I do not love you,” “You’re not looking for me,”, “Let’s have some fun,” etc. In my case, my first question in mind is “What will be that time?” when I meet a new person.

Nothing bad with having fun, if that’s what women need, but until when?

Men are happy when there is no commitment and have one-night stands or the stupid thing, called “friends with benefits.” Maybe some women are feeling good about it, but deep inside they feel used. Indeed, both sides are using each other without understanding that at the moment. When a relationship starts with mutual use, it’s doomed in time.

That doesn’t build confidence in the woman, but rejecting a one-night stand before herself does. It’s easy for a woman to open her legs and gives whatever is needed, but the aftermath is a broken heart, because most females, even the coldest-looking ones, put feelings into the act.

That is the harsh truth and a big step toward the woman’s confidence.

Even so, some women do the mistake to have a one-night stand and think that means something to the man they were with. In my case once was so, but as time went by, I understood it was unlike and started to overstep my illusions about being with that man, looking at his actions. They showed me I was seriously wrong and should move on. That built a lot of confidence in me – through pain, I kept going to become a better and unused person, who has some level of self-care.

Another disappointment is that a woman stays in a hated job.

In Bulgaria, women don’t have many job choices. They should be government clerks, sellers, or housewives to fit the standards because not every woman can become a mannequin or pop-folk singer, based on her physical beauty and empty pockets to do aesthetic corrections.

Usually, the regular working ladies hate their job but stay there because someone has to pay the bills. On the other side, government work is stressful because turnovers, intrigues, and envy rule the office.

Right said, my feeling is like I am in a snake’s pit on my regular government clerk job, from 8 am – 5 pm. It’s good I applied for new job offers to work from home.

However, the lack of job choice and the inability to work something desired kills the confidence in every woman.  It takes a lot of time to become positive vibes again. Efforts are inhuman but it’s worth being inspired and looking for a unique life road.

Not many women are brave enough to risk everything in pursuing their dreams. For example, I know I should leave my low-paid job, but as a single mom, the bills await me.

Even so, the sacrifice of my personal life in the name of doing something I love as a part-time job, makes me calm and worthy. That is a huge step to a confident and smiling face.

Another woman’s disappointment is most men look at the outside beauty and are spoilt by their mothers.

They go from their mom’s arms into their wives and don’t take on many responsibilities. Most men are arrogant and do not care about anything else than their pleasure. The males want no expectations and have high standards since they’re a small number and feel hurt thinking they’re the only ones with a painful experience.  That disappoints the women and they start to do everything alone.

Once the ladies start to do things on their own, they separate from their husbands and go out with their children out of the family home and become independent.

In Bulgaria, every third of women is alone, and around 50 % of the women are single mothers, living with their parents or in poverty because the finances are tight. That builds confidence because there is no other option except to learn skills in a challenging way since men do not like women with children. Fighting for the child’s well-being should not be underrated. The woman’s spirit becomes different and certainly confident.

The biggest disappointment that builds the strongest confidence is hypocrisy.

Wounds from a one-sided romance, soul, and job failures heal with time, becoming great life lessons. But, the betrayal of close-to-heart people kills the trust forever. Many people use others for their interests. It’s a trend that will stay forever because it’s in human nature. There are not many kind people who do not use or lie to others. Parents, siblings, and friends are not the way they have been before. Many women find comfort in their soul-chosen families like a therapist, manicurist, coiffeur, kind stranger, or the only best friend from childhood who proved trustworthy.

The most powerful boost for a confident woman is the number of betrayals she had from friends, lovers, and family members.  When the trust is broken, the lady understands she has only herself to build up.  She fears deeply opening her heart. If there is not a patient and pure person to prove they can be trusted, the woman continues her life journey with confidence and a smile on her own.

That lady attracts many admirers and rejects them because she feels by her experience who is true or not. A confident woman will never be with someone, who wants no expectations from him, nor she will be a second mother of a man-child or physically used. She will never be with a person who betrayed her in any kind of relationship. It’s the classic saying: “Better alone than in bad company.”

Behind the smile of a confident woman lies a lot of emotional and physical pain created by the disappointments she received when she gave her everything to people who didn’t appreciate her. A lady like that can be healed and won with sincere interest and pure love, which are seldom.

Wearing Red Dress With Confidence

That Is All Women Need To Feel Inspired.

Many women lack self-esteem. That is because they do not look pretty enough in their own eyes. It doesn’t matter if the reason is overweight, cellulite or acne on the face. The outlook changes with time and age.
The problem here is not the look outside, but the feeling women have inside.
Worries at home, work, and social relationships play a huge role in low women’s confidence. The television stereotypes that women should look likewise, and social media hit hard the self-esteem.
The media is part of the daily lives of everyone.

What can we all do?

Just ignore the thought that everyone should be the same on the outside look.
The most important thing is to be realistic.

What does one woman have and what not?

When this is understood, things change. All women can wear a proudly red dress. The important thing is the clothing style of that dress.

But what is the red dress?

That is the self-confidence of women themselves. They should wear good quality clothes even if they feel bad inside.
The quality doesn’t mean the most expensive dress, but the one that fits right on women’s bodies. For example, curvy girls should wear clothes that show well their better body parts than problematic ones.
Speaking metaphorically, red is the color of confidence and strength. Today’s women live a different life than in the old times. They emancipate but want to stay women also. That can happen but without the expectation of better treatment.
When the girl is younger, she wants to be sexy without knowing the right thing about this look.
A sexy look is not to show up the body’s part, but to be a confident woman. Wherever women go, they should look adequate for their age and have a human attitude.
It doesn’t matter how bad one woman feels, but she should take care of herself.

Who else will do it?

Most men look for beautiful girls they can control. A girl that he can show up to. That is not a bad thing but is too ordinary.
The difference between pretty girls and mature women wearing red dresses is simple. Girls want to show their bodies to invite men to take care of them by playing stupid with their beauty. Another reason is that the girls are lazy to grow up and invest money in themselves, and I mean their minds.
Mature Women that wear red dresses have their dignity. They know they are not so pretty and carefree as younger ones, but they have more consistency. They have a career, children, and their shoulders to lay.
Mature women are partners, and young girls are not.
A red dress can be worn only by a woman that knows where she is going and treasures herself.
When women give childbirth, they forget about themselves and take care of their looks.

Photo by Shahin Kh on

It is inevitable for the woman to go back on herself. Because when the woman age, she understands better new day she can see her child and the sunrise is a gift.
The clothes she wore are dusty as her role as the victim should be taken care of by someone else.
The young glitter and naivety fade away because a grown-up, mature woman knows most of her life is gone.
When children grow up, husbands become distant and uncaring a safe place for the woman is herself. She should wear the best she can for all that she has been through in her life.
That means the red dress. Expectations are gone, naivety too, and there is no more need for a mature woman to make herself pretty for someone else than her.
The red dress brings up the boldness, lust for life, and the motivation to move on.
After every break-up with a man or friend, the grown woman knows she still has herself. She always will.
In the bottle of wine and tears drawn, the woman becomes a better version of herself, a wiser one. A load of worries begins to become chaotic until it fades.
The problematic figure becomes the best sanctuary that hides the purer soul of one wiser woman.
The red dress also brings strength to fight with daily routines. The woman sees a different point of view. She begins to accept that she will not be young again and that no more men will chase her because she is now an equal partner that can not be easily impressed.
Undoubtedly, that makes her proud and feel unworthy because she is not a stereotyped media model, fading away.
The problem here comes if the woman doesn’t accept herself as she is.

If the woman doesn’t accept her flaws, it is not good. She will not grow up. Here comes low self-esteem with phrases like: “I am not pretty, nobody will take me” or “I have nothing to do with my life anymore”.

May I ask why?

For example, you gave birth, and you have to see your kid at the prom. Probably the kids are grown, and you are alone at home. Asking me, that is a great thing, to learn something new and enrich your life. You can dance, write and do whatever you like. Nobody will watch or judge you.

Or you may be a successful business lady?

So you did it, girl! There is always a reason to feel proud and to move on.
Life is too short for any delays, so it should be enlightening daily.
After I gave birth to my kid, I became stronger and healthier. Now I am great at dancing Zumba and also in blogging. My discipline is better, and I am more organized. If an ordinary woman like me can do it, all can do it too.
All is about the mind’s peace. As soon as women accept they can do all they want to, they will do it. They understand they are on their own. No man can bring a woman back to life. But she can do it.
I also bought a red dress, and I wear it proudly. I never thought to try to wear a red dress. But now I can feel myself in it. All my experiences and bittersweet life lessons are my honor.
Is it true my luck in my love life is missing, but do I need any outside love? It will come when the time is right.
Women with red dresses are great partners. They will not suffocate men and will not accept some sweet-coated words without actions. That is happiness and wearing a proudly red dress.

It was Long ago Sheakspere told it: “Do you know why I am happy? Because I do not expect anything from anyone.”

In the end, after every hard life lesson, women go proudly with their makeup, stilettos, and red nails too.

Or should I say like my friend and Zumba trainer Irene Barrera “When life is hard, let’s dance through it!”

Wearing a red dress is a thing that all women should remember when they are feeling bad.
Your dress is unique and meaningful. Just imagine it and collect its pieces.

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