Today, after a year, I discovered my choices’ dead weight.
That will be my thinking confession. Sometimes the thunder of enlightenment strikes unexpectedly. It’s a weird feeling. It seems like a mix between bitterness, clarity, and self-pity. For me, it happened that way. The moment I let go of everyone and everything, I started to feel free from all the burdens. Sometimes there is a point of no return in the present life and the only way is forward without explanation. The feeling is like screaming inside out to go forth.
The realization of Dead Weight turns into emotional baggage that is part of a human’s soul.
Sometimes that luggage takes a lot of space and time to drop while life goes on. Once released, the baggage gives fresh air to the heart. It builds new wings. Deadweight may connect to real death cases. Many people these days take their own lives because of their living circumstances.
If that is courage or fear escape is something that everyone sees differently. The emotional baggage becomes heavy and some people can’t take it anymore and especially if these humans are prone to living in solitude. They are challenged to ask others for support. My case is similar and the consequences I received, are damaged beyond repair, but they made me complete.
Dead Weight as a decision’s meaning.
Many people make conscious choices their way is not the one they began to follow in their adult lives. There is a need for adaptation when the situation is new. Based on my recent experience, my life now goes toward a destination I have never imagined. It’s time for me to take a weird turn and to be a part of something I never was into.
My past choices and healing tears led me here today. The changes before me are inevitable and I feel them with every fiber of my body, even if I can’t explain them. The reason is most of my emotional baggage became a dead weight. I threw it away and received my freedom by choice.
But, someone I loved, died from the carriage of dead weight he choose not to throw.
Death never gives answers or solutions. It just shuts down the problem’s mouth, transferring it to the living people. That makes them wonder what happened. People should be clear with each other while alive and look for solutions together. It doesn’t matter if the parties are separated or haven’t met for a long time, the human attitude always comes first despite worse situations.
Shedding many tears at the funeral of my blood relative, I wondered how could that happen to him. My choice was to treasure the good memories with my cousin when we were teenagers than the worse ones. He will stay forever a good, young man, with big dreams and I will carry him into my heart because he is precious to me.
From those I have already lost, I created the most precious and beautiful diamond necklace to wear throughout my life proudly, making them smile above in the skies. I owe that to my loved people, who are now angels.
People face many situations in life. Some of them are painful, others misunderstood, but there is one thing for sure – they happen, and the reaction toward them brings consequences.
Whatever happened, it could not change. The only way out is moving forward through the pain, sorrow, uncertainty, and broken heart. Every one of these challenges leads to a better life and more wisdom.
Recently, I had another destabilized relationship with an important person. It was funny how the conflict started from zero and the misunderstanding from both sides. For me is the norm to call it quits when someone pushes my buttons by choice. That’s why I am a loner. Respect should be shown in everything people do. Mutual understanding is a must in every type of relationship. Pointing out faults or weaknesses doesn’t work for anyone.
However, the situations should be accepted as they are by the involved humans. People rarely are on the same page in their relationships or life crossroads. It’s seldom for both parties to walk by each other side until the end of time.
I have that dream and know it’s a mirage because Nobody loves no one is today’s life motto.
In general, situations separate into edifying, surviving, and untested. The three types enrich life in different ways. These situations are part of daily routines, relationship patterns, and self-consciousness.
Edifying situations are accepted as they are, healing the heart
That type of situation is connected with heartbroken experiences from the loss of every kind of love and betrayal. In short, everything that strokes the heart, and it doesn’t matter how small the thing is, when there is heartache, there is edifying.
For example, when a friend turns in romantic interest or a person moves out of the parent’s or ex-lover’s house, that is an enlightening experience that is painful and sorrowful at its beginning. Time becomes a basis to become a wise person who finds the mind’s peace after the whirlwind of emotions.
I have experienced edifying situations many times in my love life, but today I realized every past disappointment, present expectation, and future belief in a person. It was challenging for my emotions today’s morning, but now I can say everyone is free to go. Tears were falling from my eyes, but every drop gave me light, transparency, and a reason to smile because of my fond heart’s memories that no one can steal from me.
Sadly, I’m unlucky in love, but maybe at that current moment is not my thing to have a lover. Starting now, I have no will or time to date or woo someone, because many projects await me. So, I do what I have to do without distractions. If someone is brave and in love with me, we will enter each other’s worlds.
Surviving situations should be accepted as they are, giving the best professional sessions
Most people want to succeed in life, but that happens with many failures on the career path. An empty pocket is the best teacher of ambition. Living in poverty or having a low-paid job gives great motivation, but often unhealthy.
Ambitions can lead to stepping over people, using them for personal interest, and forgetting what humanity is. It’s good to have a reminder or two that there should be a proper and respectful attitude toward everyone.
My example of careers can give a good idea of what I am writing.
When I was in Multi Level Marketing, I failed many times to attract new associates and clients. These failures taught me many skills I use today in advising interested people, having unplanned consultations, and earning some money, which brings food to my table. One of my future goals is to be a life coach, and I will succeed because it comes naturally to me.
Other types of failure I got were my 100 rejections from Poetry Competitions but I wrote a book, becoming a showman of my little circus. Thanks to these rejections, I got the motivation to write more and become a perfect poet and blogger in my eyes, who inspires others to succeed.
Untested situations should be accepted as they are, creating a new experience and building courage.
That type of situation needs an open mind, bravery, and unlistening to people’s opinions. Not many humans can go on without gossiping and in solitude. The untested situations are the most dangerous and eye-opening ones. The takers want to go out of their comfort zone. Diving into the unknown is not everyone’s taste. But it’s mine, and that makes me authentic.
What About You?
That weekend, I joined the African dance course without having a slight idea what it was about. I felt energized from that experience. Feeling people’s positive energy is something I craved for a long time and experienced this training with every fiber of my body. It was amazing and I felt like I danced that for a long time, but the instructors were the best I know so far.
The situation was untested and highly intimidating because I do not like to have any imperfect steps, but if my choice was to not go on that course, I would never know what it’s like to be there. After the two classes, I was happy, and my child was too. We did something enjoyable together and spent quality time outside the ordinary settings. I call that living, and my child – childhood.
Many people do not like to test new things because they have fears of something, but as the old saying goes: “It’s better to try than die without doing it” is eternally valid.
Fears do not save when people are on their deathbeds, but memories of something unusual done create motivation to fight the sickness and live, or to be grateful for what happened, without regrets.
I highly encourage going into untested situations and doing it all the time. It gives me adrenaline, happy moments, and unforgettable experiences, having no regrets about living my life. My example to my child, and other people who know me, should be like that.
I may seem eccentric, unusual, and an outsider, but the truth is simple: I live my life to its fullest, because my tomorrow may never come.
What about you?
My today’s confession ends today. Thank you for reading, and I hope I made you think.
