Last few months, I had unusual guests in my home – ants. I am unsure where they came from, but the fact they are still there is disturbing. The ants are many, and I could not kill them until yesterday. Calling the insects’ negation’s ants rang into my head that they can be acknowledged as people in my life, who have similar skills to them. Hungry for intrigues as the ants are hungry for food.
Many days I cleaned thoroughly to show respect, and politeness to these little living beings, hoping they will fade away, but they did not. I always have been thinking everything around me deserves to live. But sometimes, forced clearance should be done. That is similar to cutting wood parts for them to grow again.
After a few weeks of the unfulfilling fight with negation’s ants, I decided to use poison.
The ants died like my connections with negative people who were in my life too long. The metaphorical venom I used to kill negativity in my daily routine was telling the truth and dropping the polite act. Many psychologists, including me, support the theory people should express their feelings and be rude if needed. Of course, when there is conflict and rudeness, the voice’s tone is a must because nobody wants to be shouted at.
What is The Point Of The Fight With Negation’s Ants in Life?
I put it simply. It is the survival of self-confidence because when going into people’s negativity, the mind becomes the same as theirs.
A long time ago, I have read business development books that taught me to create a circle with successful people to become like them. But today, I see that as falseness and a people-pleasing attitude. Both of these qualities do not fit into my soul and heart.
After many years, I stopped working in the business field, read positive-thinking books, and joined a few personal development courses. They made me understand that not successful people save the day, but the positive ones.
Unfortunately, not many humans are affirmative and the negation’s ants are stubborn to fight.
During these few months with the guests in my home, I understood that is better to cut once and for all the uninspiring connections. Hiding under the politeness’s rug did not resolve my ant’s problem. Negation crawled daily and became strong. That kept me away from lying on my yoga carpet and doing mediation. The same goes for me living freely and with attitude.
The character attracts similar people, but ants turn them off. It is better to be alone without ants than to live with unwanted guests that rob your freedom.
The fear of ants made me realize I act the same way with the people in my life. That had to stop. I did little steps toward killing my life’s negativity to go on forward. The small victories I had along the way, mutated into goals, for which I did an action plan to follow. That made me realize my potential and do the needed sacrifices. It is not a secret that risk-taker wins a lesson or achievement.
Negation’s ants and negativity’s people’s influence should be removed from everyone’s life.
It has been a while since I thought about the messages I received by reading “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho and “Love” by Elif Shafak.
Right said, I used to believe I didn’t have much time to read books on paper until I started to travel again to places I had never been before, or I have been, but with a different mindset. Turkey and Dubai are places like that. Every time they are new for me to meet.
The recent course of my life after Finding the mind’s peace proved that living is like wandering in the desert – going to new oases that are already occupied and meeting many snakes, scorpions, or whatever beings people think. Some of them are real, and some are like mirages fading away.
Let’s look at the mirages and realities that have been seen differently by people’s eyes.
The Journey between two people starts unexpectedly because when there are too many expectations, research, analysis, and defending mechanisms, nothing can start.
So, I started my journey with an illusionary person. Both of us laughed, shared, and believed we are on the same road, fighting the bad in the desert to find the oasis.
But is the fight with the worse things real or not?
In my opinion, there is a challenge that I should overcome. Every time I fall, I stand up and move on through the pain, sadness, shattered heart, etc.
On the other side, my illusionary person likes to stay in a worse situation that may be real or not. It is the place he wants to be without a fight. His eyes do not see more than an oasis to rest forever.
But that oasis is so crowded that there is not much place left for more people.
Here comes “The Alchemist” idea for the so-called personal legend. In the book, there is a saying that when people want something too much, the Universe helps them. I am unsure if to agree with that. Because when I wanted something or someone so much, the universe took it away from me.
Or maybe it was not meant to be?
My illusionary person -he doesn’t want someone or something, many things seem different. He did not chase the mirage of what it could be, but he did not know what his legend was also. That person decided to stay comfortable in the first crowded oasis in the desert.
Many people make the comfortable choice for ages. After all, comfort is the easiest way to hell, based on an illusionary paradise for a happy life. I do not blame them. They have their heads on their shoulders to believe, learn or stay in whatever or wherever they feel no resistance and urge to do anything.
But what would be if the mirage is real?
With tears in my eyes and a suffocating feeling, I drank the water of leaving and moved forward.
Before I left the first oasis, another illusionary person joined me because he was betrayed by a close to his heart significant being in the crowded oasis.
Finding a new travel mate was exciting at first. Spending time together was good. I shared my mirages and got attached. I thought it was mutual because the other person talked about his visions too.
Together, with the second illusionary person, we went through two oases. They were crowded and unfriendly.
At the next oasis was a lot of curiosity among the locals because when foreign people come into the picture, the things in the known daily routines become irritating. There is an undeniable truth that states: “Some people’s demons are irritated by others’ success.” It makes the founders of a concrete oasis disrupted.
Changes of any kind create panic reactions in a well-kept pack. Living comfortably and feeding others’ greed has its advantages and disadvantages. People feel like they are kings and queens, forgetting where they started on their journey and how it finished. And when someone new shows up, the balance is lost because there is a thin voice in the head whispering.
“What if they find the mirage I once was looking for?“
On the numerous oasis, I went with the illusionary person, saw some mirages fade away, and stepped over the realities misinterpreted. The reasons for misinterpretation were the learned attitudes: “Trust no one” and “Everyone is the same.” Being betrayed, my travel mate understood as much as he knew and decided that is his place to stay until the end of time.
In that place, I learned what unrequited love is. Giving everything to someone, who doesn’t know how to give, and doesn’t want to risk trusting another human. Also, he doesn’t want even to give a chance for the possible affair.
Is that smart, or is it cowardly?
Here, I remembered the situation of Elif Shafak’s “Love” when Shams said that by going to Rumi’s place, he might lose his head. That is the essence of true love that I longed for, seeming unapproachable. Today, it looks the same old and worn way.
In the “Love” book, I loved the interactions between Shams and Rumi. Indeed, The actual love story between nowadays unsure and fearful people was uninteresting.
But how many people can believe by risking their trust and building psychological foundations?
Only a few. Mistrust leads to forced betrayals, and that is a fact that can be proved by many broken relationships when one person has no faith in the other.
My second illusionary person decided to stay in the third oasis because he did not want to be hurt by fully trusting someone else.
With stakes in my heart, I held tighter to my mirage and went after it. At that time nobody joined my journey.
The desert became friendlier to me. That sent me back to “The Alchemist” part when the main character met many betrayals in terms of money, and comfortable proposals, but he moved on to his dream. Meanwhile, the poor and free shepherd learned many things.
Do you know there is a melody from my favorite cellist Hauser that is called “The lonely shepherd“?
That shows how is the life of people who pursue their dreams.
Wandering into the desert, I saw many lonely hearts. They did not take a step toward me, lost in their thoughts, turning their eyes away from mine.
I know an interesting quote: “Between two people are exactly ten steps. If you do your five and meet no one, go back.” That is the truth in today’s interpersonal relationships.
At first, I was sad about it. Then I started to get friendly with the sand and its creatures. I learned to feel the wind and hear the raindrops, which are rare in the desert.
Raindrops are also the feelings people hide and deny. But that doesn’t change them or root them out.
In every desert storm, I survived with the knowledge I learned from the little creatures that whispered to me.
The solitude makes people more sensitive and opens their hearts toward the small things they didn’t even care to pay attention to.
I continued to look at my mirage that sometimes faded to reappear again. Like the main character in “The alchemist” book, I kept going to the next numerous oasis. The deeper into the desert I went, the oases were not so crowded but still unfriendly.
One day, a desert storm found me somewhere in the unknown, and I got no shelter. Using my imagination and creativity, I built one. It became my safe harbor, but I missed the water. No one was there to bring it, and neither was an oasis close by. Since I was thirsty, I dug a deep hole to collect the water when the rain came. I knew a day or two after the desert storm, rain follows.
From that day, I started to create my oasis with what I had, following my mirage also but always coming back to my home. Because when people have clear goals, they follow them and need a place to recharge.
My favorite scene in “The Alchemist” is when the man meets his true love. The words between them were not many. She said she would be with him in the wind, and storm and would wait for the desert to bring him back to her. I was unsure what does that mean before, but now I know.
Some lovers that are kept within the heart, choose to stay in their oases. Life’s desert never brings them back, or they become wanderers like me in another part of the wilderness
Many travelers in the desert do not stop and stay wanderers until they die or give up.
But people need their oasis, do they not?
Desert wanderers started with a mirage. On their trip, they either lose or find themselves. There is no turning back when something has started. It is a delusion when someone says they can’t go on. There are always at least two choices in a challenging situation.
Why did they start the trip then?
When people choose to stop, they give up or change their mindset h under others’ legends. They become unrecognizable to themselves. They lost their mirage’s traces looking for the oasis’s comfort. It twisted their minds.
The wanderers become an obedient bundle for someone who lost themselves in the mirage they seek and forget its genuine purpose. They might die too from the solitude and never-ending wander into the unknown without settling for a while.
Wanderer’s trip finishes with the oasis they choose. It may be theirs, authorities, or lovers. They may decide to go into the crowded and relaxing place or make their way by traces somewhere else.
Whatever the choice, life’s sand can change and make the desert more colorful, or not.
In the end, the desert is big, and every person’s legend is a treasure that should bring a higher purpose or at least a new experience for the perfect desert world. So, for today, let’s drink a cup of coffee, tea, or wine while thinking about life and plan the next steps in the wandering journey that should lead somewhere unknown.