Calling Someone “Strong” Is Not A Compliment

Everyone has heard: “You’re a strong man”, “You’re a powerful woman”, etc.

That phrase is not a compliment anymore. It means: “Do it on your own, alone, because I have no time for you, but I will listen when you need me.”

Best friends, lovers, and even family members go away physically or mentally when things that happen to another person are harsh. If they take part, that will ruin their comfort.

At a time like that, strangers always help more by listening. I say it by experience.
Recently I had talks with many people who once upon a time were a part of my life. They all have said to me in different periods: “You are a strong woman,” and yes, they have right. But, I am an alone and powerful woman because the men and women ran away from my life when I cried silently for a listening ear or some moral support.


However, outside my dramatic approach today because of the Solar Eclipse, I will summarize the points of my opinion regarding today’s topic.

People read many books, articles, forums, etc. for self-help. They consume every piece of information and forget that humans are something real and out of paper. The other scenario for this indifference is living in the own head and not going out to reach for another person.

The readers become indifferent because they do not practice face-to-face communication or are afraid to express their support physically with a hug or even a pat on the shoulder. With this way of thinking, there will never be a connection on a level outside reading.

Even the message online could help, but both interlocutors should know each other very well to experience that. Even if they do when the time is challenging, there is a deep, indifferent silence on the other side of the phone or personal computer.

Is that alright for heartfelt communication between close-to-heart people?

 

Let’s say, all people have somebody they used to know, and who has the hardship to express himself. When they need him to connect with the talk, the answer that is given is cold, polite, and pushes away the seeker for moral support. That shows a clear lack of personal connection between the two persons. If there is any bond between them, the coldness of words makes people connect less. The sincerity seems uncertain.

Many people indeed have problems with expressing their feelings. They should at least try doing it for the sake of the relationship and make the other person feel treasured – romantic or friendly. Coldness in communication only makes communication forced with time, and the one-party leaves it. And the “strong person” talk makes it not work.

Is there a real connection then?

There is a saying that love is not comfortable. I do not mean romantic love only. For a matter of heart,t is the right saying. I mean that friendship should also not be based only on comfort and comfortable choices to run away when time is challenging. Sometimes is enough for the person who goes through a hard time to calm down with simple words such as “Everything will be alright” or “I am here for you.” These words, however, should be sincere and not just because there is a need for something to be said.

Comfort is a good thing, but not when it comes to relationships. It becomes fake with time if people look for each other only when they are comfortable.

Is the contentment a bridge or a sliver?

An interesting situation to call someone “strong” happens when the one who says it, runs away somewhere calm and speaks from afar without putting much care into the words or letters. 

When people are far, they begin to know more and do less for the person who needs them in the concrete moment of weakness. 

Most humans love to avoid drama and go to safer places where the worse situation cannot reach them. It seems a bit hypocritical. But running away is well known for millions of years into Human evolution. 

Right said, today I do not see humanity as the way it was in old times. That goes for any kind of evolution, too. Everyone runs away and stays safe on his own, blaming others for not being by their sides. The bond is a two-way ticket between two hearts and ten steps divided in half for every party to make them.

Choosing to run away from a loved person when he goes through hell, is unserious and false. 

Is that showing care for someone?

I said in the paragraph above. I see no evolution in humans today. But the reason for that is simple – laziness. 

It is lazy to call someone “strong” without putting an effort to be by his side. In today’s world, there are so many luxuries, and material things, which birth came from insipidness on what to do with money and time, for example, that people have forgotten what evolving means. 

Everything can be bought, including fake feelings, time, and pleasure that make people stagnant and impotent to love with their hearts and souls. They become lazy to feel, fight, and keep their loved ones.

Words ran dry as a distant mirage, and the compassionate touch is like a moth burned by the flame of self-help, and I mean self as Lonely. Communication between hearts dies or is not expressive, making it almost the same as demise.

Also, I can say that when the elementary care for a friend is amiss, there is no reason to do charities for the poor to show off, for example.

I think after answering the questions above, people will understand why calling someone “strong” is not a compliment, but most like leaving the person in the dark.

There was a time when “you are powerful” was a compliment, but now the meaning is far behind its original idea.

Many people indeed prefer solving their problems alone, but here the importance is the gesture of showing care. When there is proof someone cares, things become different.

People, in general, are strong, but that is not an excuse to shut off someone who they need gentle and kind support to keep going. Nobody wants to feel lonely and does not deserve it. Humans are love seekers and givers, or they should be.


But, today, I am not sure if there are still humans, so I prefer talking with animals and doing animal charities.
I still believe in the good of humans, but I am always proved wrong. However, I will continue to believe, and maybe someday, I will be wrong.

Bad Habits Do Not Make People Second-Rate

No Second-Rate People

Bad Habits Do Not Make People Second-Rate

And They Do Better

As a fighter for my justice and defending humans that are not sheep, I stand up once again. That time, for the people with bad habits. We all know someone who is a thief, an alcoholic, a drug dependent, a mafia member, a prisoner, or even a killer.

Usually, humans play dead or are blind, when they hear about life’s grey side in the towns, clubs, human traffic, etc.

In general, society is old-fashioned and claims people out of the ordinary life’s course in its view. I say without a doubt that people living on the dark side are no less perfect than those, who spend their lives on the bright life’s side.

That may sound crazy but I am a devotee of the good side of all people. I know that someone who decides to stay sober, lives an ordinary life after prison, or is in a mafia situation, is also a human who needs respect. I always look behind the reasons for the human attitude and dig so deep that I can see the most unbelievable proof that a person is good despite the things done in his past.

Everything has a reason, and when it comes to humans, I stick to that they make mistakes, learn from them, and become better persons.

I say that because I have been close to people with drug and alcohol dependence and also have worked with people from the mafia, or with suicidal thoughts. As a psychological consultant for group therapy a few years ago, I know some things because some of my closest-to-heart people were also dependent on their bad habits.

That doesn’t make them less human or second-rate people.

If a chance is given for better life, job, or relationship, those involved in the dark side of life may go to great lengths, proving they deserve the best too. The criminal minds are sharper and more schematic or organized than regular people’s brains, which are learned from a book. The criminals only act and practice. They have their reasons that indeed may be more human than the known.

Some people steal or sell drugs to feed their families. It is not appropriate in the eyes of society, but still, if people understand the reasons, they see there is a logical explanation. I am not saying all should do bad things, but they are part of the personality.

If people are sincere with themselves, they will see that they also have bad habits, but probably not enough motivation to do second-rate deeds.

The truth I and everyone know is that all need the motivation to do something, is it not?

Let’s say that the reasons for a concrete behavior started from a young age. Many persons I have met told me that they were beaten at home or verbally abused. They changed from good schoolers to the worst because of their grades.

Is it that education or lack of elementary respect toward a decent human being?

In my opinion, children need to be praised for almost everything they do. Of course, I do not support inappropriate behavior, but there should always be balance.

The equilibrium can be built very well with different methods. Relationships between parents, and children, and their actions may stabilize with talks or psychological consultation if needed.

That would make bad habits less showing.

Most people do whatever to be seen by their closest people, thinking that will bring the attention of a concrete person toward themselves. That may be a father, mother, sibling, or lover’s figure. The problem can be solved before joining criminal life with a simple conversation.

The main reason for bad habits usually is the lack of love at home from parents or siblings. They may put too many responsibilities on the children, robbing them of their only one childhood.

To escape the feeling of dissatisfaction, many humans take a different way to distract themselves from the reality they do not like.

These ways may be drugs, alcohol, or other activity that is claimed as bad. It is easy to judge people and their actions without thinking about their situation. It is like showing your middle finger to attract attention from the police or other people to be noticed. That usually works for a short period, but not for a long-term situation.

The same can be said for going deep into the bad habits, leading to being in places that challenge, or creating illusions you are on the right path. All this is seen as second-rate by society.

After all, that is not the truth about humanity because everyone has their bad habits, but only a few change them or use them to move forward.

As a believer in second chances, I think everyone needs them.
That would make people richer and more forgiving to themselves.

 A prisoner goes out, a drug dealer stops the sales, or an alcoholic becomes sober all the time. That means they went to hell and back. These humans have been wherever no one of the regular people who had good school education, stable financial situation, and weird, but somehow acceptable, family situations, have been.

Those, claimed as second-rate people have the most qualities for success. They learned the hard way to be humanitarian, empaths, and have the will, and power, to change the known world for the best.

These second-rate people with bad habits are far closer to saints because they were once devils. Believe it or not, the so-called second-rate people can manage better. They are more intelligent than lethargic, bored employees who think they have the best work in the famous company, sitting on their buts without changing anything for themselves or others.

The employees have not met any hurdles in their lives, knowing nothing about reality and being human.

The point of my current blog post is that every human counts.

Equality is the bridge that connects hearts, bringing meaningful leadership and better connections between personalities. I don’t say abuse in any form needs to be respected, but just to be thought why it happened twice.

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