Certain people, with their actions, provoked me to write what I write now- It is ugly indeed, but it is the truth.
I like to use it as a wake-up call to people regarding their dignity and remaining honor as a part of their family.
I speak about a house person’s complex.
It is a sentence I see fit and applies toward house persons. I do not blame people who choose to stay home and take care of the household, but I find it highly inappropriate to cheat your partner until you’re home and are bored. I speak about the period when kids are old enough to care about themselves. They do not need their parent’s help anymore.
House people sit at home, doing nothing about improving themselves or their relationship with the other parent of their kids.
Usually, when house people have free time, they look at their phones.
They start to flirt online or play mobile video games.
They do not make something to develop themselves and the family’s dynamic.
I am highly disappointed in parents with kids that hate their partners but stay with them, using them for money. They don’t take steps to improve themselves in any better version. These house people use chats and games to fantasize about some wind-whirling romance, and they stop working on their own in reality.
In the end, they are left alone and unloved by their real-life partner. Of course, the one parent will leave the broken family’s relationship, taking the kids.
Is that not a high price for false online romance?
That is a form of cheating too. The situation will lead to worse activities. Domestic abuse may pop up, and divorce may follow. Kids will see and apply it in their adult lives.
The time spent online should be used purposefully on self-improving or caring for the stability of the family’s unit. Most people today indeed lead single-parent life.
But, if there is a possibility to stay in a whole family, and both partners want to work on it, there should be a better free online time investment.
I do not understand how it is possible to choose an online date, and then do your best to improve your family situation. I also had some online crushes, but they stood where their place is – online. And I am not proud, I have been there where many house persons are now. I understand the reasons behind flirting online, but I do not accept them to be the reason to neglect your real-life family.
Fantasies for love are way too deep in our current lives, but the truth is different. To love someone, you need to love yourself.
Currently, If I have to choose between an online flirt and an online course to improve my skills, my choice will be the course.
House persons, with free time, should work toward making themselves better parents and spouses. Looking for love online when you have chosen to be with someone, and have children, is not meaningful.
At least, the marriage deserves a chance to improve. If all possibilities for improvement between both parents are used up, then packing the bags, and those of the kids, come in handy.
The house persons should leave or try to save their marriages if they are not happy.
Sitting at home cheating with an online lover is pitiful. Either break up with him and work on yourself or stay with him, breaking your child and spouse’s hearts.
There should be a choice people make.
But, there can be not having both online and family love. It is disgusting and fake and will give a bad example to the children involved.
But yes, humans make mistakes and bear their consequences.
Even so, that is not making a person justified – it makes it look irresponsible.
My point is, the house persons should lead a loyal and faithful marriage life, trying their best to improve and save what they have. If there is nothing in that marriage to save, people better leave it clean and proudly.
Tolerance between marriage partners has its limits. Remember the reasons why you married that person. When the connection between both spouses has shattered, sitting and doing nothing will not help. House persons should think carefully about what consequences will bring their boredom and time-killing choices will reflect in their family life.
Yes, it is true “Love is found anywhere,” but before stepping into the numerous outside marriage’s relationship, think first about what you want to achieve from it.
Do you have the guts to drop what you have, taking your children with you?
If you do not have the courage, strength, and will to sacrifice what you have and go on your single hard life path, stop until it is not too late.
My experience is by being in online relationships and giving away too many chances to my former, almost, spouse.
Think for the future and see the bigger life picture.
lf people bear the consequences of their own choices if they are brave enough to accept them.
Careful thinking about every step in the lives before and after separation gives the answers if cheating is meaningful for people’s lives.
It has been a long time since my last post. The past month was chaotic.
After all, everyone has these times that teach appreciable life lessons.
Since I have some family problems, I want to share my opinion today about cheating reasons. This topic is not great, but it gives a good amount of information on where a person is on the life path and how people see themselves.
Why do I think recently of cheating?
As time went by, both partners in one relationship forget about each other because they are too busy with their own lives. I have read a lot of sources about cheating because I wanted to understand the topic better. Some of the sources I shared in the post. Other sources were people from real life.
Unfortunately, most of them are women. It seems that more women these days think about cheat and doing it.
Why does this happen?
Because a woman feels unprecious. I tell you also from personal experience that when I go home, I felt that way accompanied by murmuring and underestimating my working efforts.
I had the feeling that it is expected of me to do so many things that aren’t possible to be done physically at the same time. They were housework, caring for the kid and myself, and earning money. When I try to explain, it is as good as I am talking to the wall. Women shouldn’t treat as second-hand people. After I have read all sources I could find, I summarized the reasons for cheating like this.
Lack of communication and accepting the wife or the husband as a part of the decoration.
At the beginning of every relationship, there are romantic gestures like flowers, dining out, and a lot of talking. When both partners spend enough time together, they forget about giving gifts and talk about everything with each other.
The partners begin to forget about the other partner’s need for talk and care. They stop sharing the interests they had before the start of their life together. With this, the downfall of the relationship is guaranteed.
At the same time, women spend a lot of time online talking on social media and easily find a new partner to talk about since the husband doesn’t care about what they do during the day or night. All gestures of attention are gone, and women feel that they are unseen anymore. That hurts a lot of their ego, and some stop neglecting their outlook.
Going out with messy hair, chipped nails, and the same ten-years clothes seriously are not attractive. But the motivation to stay fit, pretty, and self-caring, is long gone because of the lack of compliments, small gestures, and male attention.
This situation makes a woman silent, doing her jobs unmotivated and like routine. She loses the spark in her eyes and becomes invincible in her and her partner’s eyes.
On the husband’s side, things are not looking pink too. When he started to date his wife, he was attached to her, wanting to win her over, and the chemistry was so strong. After some time, he begins to see her unperfections, forgetting she always tried to make herself up to him. The man begins to feel not content because he doesn’t get attention.
The woman, in her pursuits, to make the home clean and the kids – well-raised, has no time to pay attention to her husband anymore. Here the husband should understand that he also needs to help with the house, but in most cases, men irritate to do the housewife’s job.
That is a good reason for the relationship breakup.
Husband feels he doesn’t own his wife anymore and irritates she doesn’t look at him. He stops doing any gestures toward her because he doesn’t feel interested anymore, and she is not as pretty as before.
The man feels lonely and goes out with friends most of the time. He needs to talk to someone about his worries too, but the partner is always busy. That turns him off.
The communication between both parties stops, and they become roommates with or without children.
The husband begins to feel unseen and stops taking care of his outlook, forgetting his interests because he needs to speak too, but no one listens. That makes his motivation go away. He usually finds a new woman or goes into a deep depression that leads to apathetic, and aggressive behavior.
In both cases, the family partners accept each other as a part of the interior decoration of the house.
2. Roommates with, or without, children.
It is true children are the most precious thing in a human’s life. But when the parents are unsure that they are with the right person and do not want to share responsibilities with the newborn, the child becomes like a to-do list. Children need the full attention of their mothers.
That is the reason why most husbands leave the wife with the baby.
Men feel forgotten when a child is born.
The wife is tired when only she takes care of the kid. She can’t sleep, bathe or do anything while the husband doesn’t see he is fit to help.
Most men think they shouldn’t change diapers, give a bath to the kid, or do anything else regarding the baby. Husbands think this is only the mother’s job. They do not care for other housework engagements because they are shocked by the new life that came at home and changed anything. Wives have to deal with all post-pregnancy and after-birth depression. As mothers, they need time to adapt to the new situation for taking care of the baby.
One month of the acceptance of the new life period is required. That is a crucial period for family life between both partners. If the father’s kid doesn’t show the same care as the mother, problems will arise. When they occur, in the condition the mother is in, most likely both partners start to argue. The husband should control his emotions and understands the chaotic feelings his wife has. Otherwise, that can lead to separation. Children, in general, are the main reason people stay together or divorce. They are the most beautiful thing in the world for the parents, but only if parents accept each other, as they are, with all their good sides, and flaws. Often a family breaks when a baby is born because the communication and interactions between husband and wife are not enough, physically speaking.
That creates conflicts between both adults.
Under interactions, I do not meet only sexual ones, but even touch, a hug, and something elementary. Parents are stressed out when the newborn baby comes home, and the husband and wife are afraid, unsure, and trying to adapt better. Both parties can’t hold so many new things on their own, but often they scream to each other from the tiredness they feel.
Every situation can resolve by speaking calmly and work together to achieve more.
When parents stay together with the kid as a family but forget to share things between themselves, they become roommates with the children. They prefer to quarrel than move out of the broken home. That is probably a mistake that costs all family sorrows.
Humans always make mistakes, but they may learn from them.
Indeed, roommates with children, are probably the wrong family choice. But too much courage is needed for the one roommate with children to take a step outside. That makes both partners irritated and look for affairs outside. Somewhere, where they feel treasured and appreciated.
3. Absence of Common Interests and no Will to search for new ones.
A strong reason for cheating is the lack of common interests, and the missing determination to find new ones. When two partners live too much time together, they lose the first interest that connected them.
As time goes by, they lose the bond they made during the first years of the partnership.
During the first meetings, the communication between both partners is compelling and inspiring. Then the years go by, and they say whatever they wanted to say, shared whatever they wanted to share, and the conversations go empty. Topics of similar interest and shared hobbies fade and then comes the boredom of daily life routines.
Here, people in marriage should put in a lot of work. But this only happens if there is a will between both partners to search for new ones. If no willpower, it is a matter of time for both parties to move on to someone they meet accidentally and make them curious. That means both partners in a relationship should always work on developing themselves and find new sides. They should try new things which wake up a new interest toward them in the other partner.
When there is a newly discovered experience in long-term relationships, the family partners will not be bored with each other.
For this reason for cheating, most families fail because all need to be listened to and appreciated.
Wife and husbands should prove they are still interested in each other weekly at least. Of course, showing daily care is preferable, but every human needs a break from others sometimes. Many people neglect their partner so much and accept each other as given. They go so uninterested in building a deeper relationship that there is a matter of time before it goes into ruins.
Cheating, in general, is not a good thing, but there are always reasons for doing something.
People usually do not look at the reasons for doing something but listen to their emotions.
That is not a bad thing because everyone can get hurt, but the important is to understand the motives and forgive in the heart with time. When the cheat is discovered, partners probably will not stay together anymore.
But, if they have deep love between them, they can consider their second, and last chance to change for good, or bad. Many humans say that if once their mate had a love affair, numerous affairs will follow. Probably they have rights, but if they do not change their behavior, knowing the concrete reasons for these actions, things will never change for them. If you ask me, when I have a partner I find cheating, I will leave him right away without a second thought. It is not sure that is the best decision.
Probably, in that situation, people should be logical and rational.
Here comes the thin limit between searching for a cheat that sure will be found, or a hidden affair that happened once, and the partner may never find out about it.
Sometimes things happen accidentally when too much stress or so deep disappointment in the partner.
That is why people should communicate more in every life field, but not with scandals. A high voice tone always leads to bad situations.
Reasons for human behavior are always considered as the beginning of a new life transformation. It is an experience that leads to a new personality dimension, including cheating too.
Before judging the partner, both sides should look for the reasons behind cheating.