Bad Habits Do Not Make People Second-Rate

No Second-Rate People

Bad Habits Do Not Make People Second-Rate

And They Do Better

As a fighter for my justice and defending humans that are not sheep, I stand up once again. That time, for the people with bad habits. We all know someone who is a thief, an alcoholic, a drug dependent, a mafia member, a prisoner, or even a killer.

Usually, humans play dead or are blind, when they hear about life’s grey side in the towns, clubs, human traffic, etc.

In general, society is old-fashioned and claims people out of the ordinary life’s course in its view. I say without a doubt that people living on the dark side are no less perfect than those, who spend their lives on the bright life’s side.

That may sound crazy but I am a devotee of the good side of all people. I know that someone who decides to stay sober, lives an ordinary life after prison, or is in a mafia situation, is also a human who needs respect. I always look behind the reasons for the human attitude and dig so deep that I can see the most unbelievable proof that a person is good despite the things done in his past.

Everything has a reason, and when it comes to humans, I stick to that they make mistakes, learn from them, and become better persons.

I say that because I have been close to people with drug and alcohol dependence and also have worked with people from the mafia, or with suicidal thoughts. As a psychological consultant for group therapy a few years ago, I know some things because some of my closest-to-heart people were also dependent on their bad habits.

That doesn’t make them less human or second-rate people.

If a chance is given for better life, job, or relationship, those involved in the dark side of life may go to great lengths, proving they deserve the best too. The criminal minds are sharper and more schematic or organized than regular people’s brains, which are learned from a book. The criminals only act and practice. They have their reasons that indeed may be more human than the known.

Some people steal or sell drugs to feed their families. It is not appropriate in the eyes of society, but still, if people understand the reasons, they see there is a logical explanation. I am not saying all should do bad things, but they are part of the personality.

If people are sincere with themselves, they will see that they also have bad habits, but probably not enough motivation to do second-rate deeds.

The truth I and everyone know is that all need the motivation to do something, is it not?

Let’s say that the reasons for a concrete behavior started from a young age. Many persons I have met told me that they were beaten at home or verbally abused. They changed from good schoolers to the worst because of their grades.

Is it that education or lack of elementary respect toward a decent human being?

In my opinion, children need to be praised for almost everything they do. Of course, I do not support inappropriate behavior, but there should always be balance.

The equilibrium can be built very well with different methods. Relationships between parents, and children, and their actions may stabilize with talks or psychological consultation if needed.

That would make bad habits less showing.

Most people do whatever to be seen by their closest people, thinking that will bring the attention of a concrete person toward themselves. That may be a father, mother, sibling, or lover’s figure. The problem can be solved before joining criminal life with a simple conversation.

The main reason for bad habits usually is the lack of love at home from parents or siblings. They may put too many responsibilities on the children, robbing them of their only one childhood.

To escape the feeling of dissatisfaction, many humans take a different way to distract themselves from the reality they do not like.

These ways may be drugs, alcohol, or other activity that is claimed as bad. It is easy to judge people and their actions without thinking about their situation. It is like showing your middle finger to attract attention from the police or other people to be noticed. That usually works for a short period, but not for a long-term situation.

The same can be said for going deep into the bad habits, leading to being in places that challenge, or creating illusions you are on the right path. All this is seen as second-rate by society.

After all, that is not the truth about humanity because everyone has their bad habits, but only a few change them or use them to move forward.

As a believer in second chances, I think everyone needs them.
That would make people richer and more forgiving to themselves.

 A prisoner goes out, a drug dealer stops the sales, or an alcoholic becomes sober all the time. That means they went to hell and back. These humans have been wherever no one of the regular people who had good school education, stable financial situation, and weird, but somehow acceptable, family situations, have been.

Those, claimed as second-rate people have the most qualities for success. They learned the hard way to be humanitarian, empaths, and have the will, and power, to change the known world for the best.

These second-rate people with bad habits are far closer to saints because they were once devils. Believe it or not, the so-called second-rate people can manage better. They are more intelligent than lethargic, bored employees who think they have the best work in the famous company, sitting on their buts without changing anything for themselves or others.

The employees have not met any hurdles in their lives, knowing nothing about reality and being human.

The point of my current blog post is that every human counts.

Equality is the bridge that connects hearts, bringing meaningful leadership and better connections between personalities. I don’t say abuse in any form needs to be respected, but just to be thought why it happened twice.

True Love’s Talk

Do People Know What It Is That Phenomena?

Many people speak about true love. It is the most popular topic all over the world in any industry.

But what is indeed this so often used topic’s talk?


Humans need too much attention. They misunderstand the love interest.


There are a lot of types of interests and feelings.

Some think respecting someone as a writer or as a fighting person is love. But that is not it. It is just deep respect and a feeling of admiration.
Others believe true love is pure lust all the time. Sexual desires are also not true love because they are momentary emotions and a high level of happiness or serotonin hormones.
The third group of humans thinks true love is the everlasting talk of different topics that create so-called platonic love. That is also not the true love we see on the big screen or in books because at some point in the communication between two persons comes a hole of silence. It doesn’t matter if both persons are too knowledgeable talkers, they can’t find new topics if not trying something different.
The fourth group of humans thinks that the auras and zodiac between two personalities with compatible zodiac signs make the perfect soulmates and true love couple for life. But here is the difference between soulmates, twin flames, and karmic relationships that live in some illusional astrology world that washes up their brains. True love is something else. Because often the karmic relationships are toxic and destruct the personality a lot. It takes after this karma for the person to build anew.
The fifth group of people believes that when they are comfortable with someone, this is indeed true love. Still, they have some conditions toward their partner, built from their comfort feelings. These people try to make true love in their minds, creating self-belief that they are indeed in eternal companionship till death.

But being delusional makes people weak and dead inside because they do not stay open up to new people in their lives.


These examples show that many people lack a proper understanding of so-called true love. I am not saying I know it all, but I can speak up with my opinion about this topic. The choice to understand is always in the eye and the mind of the beholder.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

The main words I use to describe true love are:
unconditional; acceptance of the person; chemistry; open mind; common interests; partners to complement each other; endless curiosity.


Unconditional

That Love is something like a mirage. In the relationships are too many conditions. People try their best to make things work, but in the end, the problem stays unsolved. When some states are unmet for a long time, one of the partners begins to quarrel with the other. Sometimes that can’t change based on the skills of another partner in the couple. In this case, there is a possibility to make a compromise for one party. If that can’t happen, probably more time to learn the proper skills is needed. What do I mean? I give you an example. When the man in the couple wants his woman to shave his back, it is hard for him to understand that she can’t do it good and immediately. In this case, the husband should stay patient and give enough time to the wife to do the things. These situations often make the man angry, and he quarrels with the woman. It is a small thing, but anger turns the woman off, and she loses her confidence. Some people are skillful with some things where others are not and need more time to learn.
Conditions lead to disappointment because they are a way of expectations for perfection. But all partners are imperfect.


Acceptance of the person

It’s connected with the conditions. If partners can not accept the flaws of each other, they can never make a healthy relationship with love. Opposite, they will burn their connection with hate. Another example here: when the man sleeps long, and the woman wakes up early, they can’t drink coffee in the morning together, but they can do it in the afternoon. The person should not be irritated by the habit other partner has, but should use it as a method to enrich their own life. The woman could do some personal work until the man wakes up late and not blames him.


Chemistry

It is the dominant aspect that brings people together at first. But only physical chemistry is not enough to build a love relationship. It is a considerable part of the process, but it should be on a deeper emotional level. With years, physical appearance changes, and body attraction fades. If there is no emotional connection between both partners or no communication on different topics, the relationship is doomed. The flame of first-sight love will burn to ashes, and true love can not establish.

Another aspect of this topic’s post is the open mind of both partners in the relationship.

I am not speaking about school degrees or work and life experience here. My main point is that the two people in a relationship should be emotionally intelligent and listen to each other’s opinions without judgment. An open mind means a mind that is open to hearing another point of view without forcing one of the partners to accept another’s opinion. The forcing may happen with quarrel, fear, or showing no care to continue the conversation when opinions differ.

That means there is no open mind to each other’s ways of speaking. When that is amiss, it is a matter of time for both partners to become distant.
As all of us know, the truth comes clear with the equal participation of both interlocutors. That is why arguments in a friendly way are more creative and connect the partners more than any quarrels, and apologies after them. Because when there is quarrel, fear, or force, there is a shattered heart by those things.

Common interests are a must in all kinds of relations.

They keep people connected and provide them with new topics to speak on, and do not get bored in each other’s company. In love life in the long term, these interests play a huge role. When there is a real love relationship, things happen without hardships. Common interests are the first and last stepping stone that burns the connection between two person’s hearts. If these interests fade, the relationship is doomed, and this is inevitable in time. The problem is solved if both partners constantly work on themselves, and develop their minds, and that way, they find new sources of talking topics. Two people in a relationship should make some compromises and listen with their hearts to what their significant one is saying.

Most of the time that couples spend together is not like this. They do their things without listening to each other and forget what common interests brought them together. When no new common interests, talk between two people becomes dull and empty, and the connection between the two person’s hearts starts to fade away.
Everyone indeed needs some quality time alone, but most of the time the two lovers are together, it is more important they work on their connection. Finding time for ourselves is not an easy task, but when there is a couple, the good of it should be a priority. Here I should say that managing time and divide it equally between all fields of life.

Another thing to consider about True love’s talk is that the partners should complement each other.

As we all know, no one is perfect. That is why people should complement each other and the weak sides of their partners and make teamwork for the relationship to grow. If only one person fights, compromises, and sacrifices everything for the relationship, that is a doomed dream for true love. If the two people work together, things will be different.
My point is like that: One person is practical, the other is emotional. Partners should not blame each other for their different life approaches.

Opposite, they should see the other point of view and use it when needed in life problems. They should complement each other’s weak sides and calm the significant ones when their control is lost. The couple doesn’t need quarrels.

Life is too stressful anyway.


Both people should complement the missing part for the relationship to grow into something beautiful. That is the way that the couple stays strong and grows old.
A good example is when it comes to children in the family. If the one partner is aggressive or too demanding, he should not help the child with school homework because it will trigger a quarrel. He needs to do other house activities until the calm parent takes care of the kid’s homework.

That way it will be no hurt feelings but a peaceful home atmosphere.
Another experience is when one of the partners doesn’t like to cook but to clean. That way one person will cook, and the other will do the cleaning. The home will be clean, and no one will complain about missing homemade meals.


The last aspect of True love I see is pretty different than most people.

As time goes by, topics go dull, and the relationship becomes boring. When there is nothing to talk about anymore or outside the daily routines, curiosity comes to light. I often say that people should save the child in them and believe in miracles. That happens only when it is endless curiosity.

The curiosity feeds from reading, listening, and overcoming the fears of daily life. It is a fact all people will die someday, that it is inevitable.

But is it not better before they go to another world, to learn as much as they can from the place they are in the present?


The endless curiosity of both partners in a relationship makes their bond stronger because the two parties will discover new things and places together. They live in the moments together. But only if they allow themselves to do it and if the partners want to share their experiences. Both persons in a couple should improve themselves daily. Only that way do they become the best version of themselves, and they keep safe their children’s past that makes them smile and curious.

After I shared my opinion about True love’s talk, the conclusion is that this phenomenon happens probably once or twice in a lifetime, if people are lucky.
Usually, even when people meet their true love, they run away from it for different fears. Some persons misunderstand twinned flames, karmic debts, and soulmates. Most of them look for comfortable love that is far from the true one.
Reasons for missed true love are different:
  • Distant countries
  • Too expensive
  • One person is taken into another relationship and doesn’t want to go out
  • Fears from the unknown
  • Not flexible enough to move on
  • Unsure if one person is the right person for other
  • Blinded by physical appearance
  • Lust misunderstood with love
  • Not enough courage to leave the comfort zone
  • Missing the guts to fight courageously for love
  • Children – I want to add here that children need happy parents

Everyone can see different reasons for themselves. But if people live only for comfort thoughts, they miss love, life, and everything else that makes them alive inside. 

Every person is free to choose to stay the same way of living or try something new, and maybe find the true love that we all know and heard of in movies, books, and songs.
True love may be found rare, but if you ask me, it is better to give it a try and have it than sitting in the corner of your boring or way too comfortable life and thinking: “What if I could meet true love?”
Of course, there will be hardships, but they are worth it if a person lives their life whole-hearted. In the end, nothing is impossible. If only people overcome their fears, they meet true love talk they only heard about from different places.

 

Sources:

“True Love: What Love Is and What It Is Not?”

“What Is True Love?”

“10 Things You Need To Know About True Love.”

“What is True Love?”

“What is True Love? A Deeper Insight.”

 

 

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