Is Nostalgia Path To Prison?

Dedication to the Past Mind Seasons.

Today I still wonder

Is the nostalgia

Reflection of past

With bittersweet feelings

Regarding the present

That overcame the wrath

Of shattered illusions

In a faraway heart?

While I keep on thinking

I feel happy that were

People that I cherished

To my future memoir

I’ll paint with my fingers

Or words that regard

My happy memories

With every man I loved

It’s a bit of happiness

The experiences I got

Holding my hairsprings

I left it on their beds

Before I got stunned

And went far abroad

When Remembrances flow

Free from the beatings

Of healed scars that were hideous

While holding the feathers

Of nostalgia’s birds

That met between distances

And crossed their roads

It’s somehow the sweetness

That came into my soul

Creating the prison

On my drawing call

Once put on the paper

There is no turning back point

Because the lies went unfold

But I feel grateful

I met my soulmates at some point

And continued living

Alone on my road

Then kept on connecting

Because I have no random Amor

Looking for someone

To name man my own

But I still haven’t found him

Maybe only God knows

Until then I keep moving

With Nostalgia as a companion

Building the Mind’s Prison

Almost no one broke

Because when somebody enters

I may lose my route

If there aren’t both of us

That walk side by side long

*****

Nostalgia is a curious feeling. It creates prison and freedom equally. People feel free. After all, they express themselves in drawing, writing, or another way. At the same time, nostalgic prisoners have given their heart’s keys to other people who lost or broke them. That creates the mind’s prison – a trap in past situations. It takes a lot of time to move on from them. At least, for me.

Even so, memories are the pieces that create an aura and make the soul unique.

It’s a fact that life is worth it if there are more smiles, happy moments, and precious feelings that may not last but happen. That is the reason I am grateful for everything I experienced until now, both in love, family, friendships, and career.

My love for Shakespeare is also not random. I live by his quote: “Do you know why I am happy? I do not expect anything from anyone.”

Driving To The Distant Thoughts – Poem

is Dedicated to my love to drive

I drive again

On the unknown road

To a new place

I only heard of

Escaping the glow

Of a painful story

That ate my soul

As far as I am going

The farthest confusion grows

One hour passed

The second gave me

A new chance

To reconnect me with ways

That I do feel not proud of

Begging for mercy

Pay me attention

When times were challenging

And turned to dust with the flow

Of time spent in illusions

A pragmatic love

With no Individualism

Because it would ruin the comfort

That someone had felt of

And would never abandon

My speed increased

While the mind grows fond of

The feelings I was hiding

Boosting out to the prone

Salty tears when I can take it no more

My car would be crashing

If I didn’t stop when I saw

A single bird flying

Reminding me of my own

An angry heart that showed

The depth of emotions

When I tried to be a raccoon

Hiding out in the crowd

To defend my cocoon

But it happened

And became a success

That made me numb

To the cries in my head

Which I surpressed

They made me go wrong

Direction outside my groan

And brought me back to the driving

Finding a distant road

*****

Many love stories are sad and change the people inside out. They may love each other in different time frames but miss the moment to act.

Some neglect their feelings, and others play dead to not be hurt, but the truth is that when something doesn’t happen at first, it will be that way forever. When two people do not click, it’s a matter of time to drive separate roads.

It’s a fact I love driving and depending on my confusion, I go further to think and re-organize my thoughts. My recent trip was four hours of driving on the same day, but I was happy to visit a new place. It was a small town in Bulgaria where birds were singing and time stopped.

Right said, I envy the people living there. Calmness and sincerity were the atmospheres of that place.

When I move out of my current living city, it will be to a smaller town or even a village. The falseness and insincerity of people in cosmopolitan cities turn me off. That’s why when I drive, my choice of places is based on my intuition or the population’s number.

However, is always lonely to leave someone loved. But seeing no future in the long-term and the different directions, I think it’s better that way. Then I drive to distant roads, running from my thoughts until I find the courage to face them.

Cutting ties with those, who haven’t been by my side and didn’t understand me after a long time of communication, is not easy. If someone’s taken for granted, it’s the most painful experience and leads to a new driving life destination. But everyone survives. It’s a fact not many people will stay by my side forever. It’s like wishy-washy thoughts to make myself feel better. I stand for the sincerity and directness of communication, so there is no place to hide, ignore or play dumb when rejecting someone or I am the one dumped.