The Mutual Attraction’s Law Of No Emotionality

Fight for Emotions

The Mutual Attraction’s Law Of No Emotionality

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One Of Today’s Plagues

Nowadays, relationships are more critical than ever. There is a plague between people that is the mutual attraction with no emotionality.

Covid’s situation showed another way of living has its pros and cons. One fo the worse Covid’s sides is that people became unable to show their emotions physically. Before the pandemic, that process started, but after that, it became the worst ever.

People started to introspect themselves so much that they forgot the other humans outside their homes.

That introspection leads to no emotionality. I forgot when was the last time I hugged someone outside my daughter.

Do you remember your last hug outside the family?

When the times are challenging, and no words can help, one hug tells and shows support much more than thousand learned phrases that everyone knows. It shows the person is there for the other one. Of course, platonic relationships are great, but they do not always help enough.

Let’s go back to the topic. Since people looked deep inside themselves because they had nothing else to do, closed at home, the mind and logic overtook the heart and intuition. My belief is when mind and heart conflict, the heart always wins. Emotionality can not suppress forever. One way or another, emotions come out of control. People should be true to themselves and acknowledge they are not logic machines that need to be controlled.

Until that time comes, people are lost in no emotionality and attract the energies of others in the same way.

I call no emotionality a plague that kills humanity because of the basic need for touch and expressing feelings – amputated by choice. Right said I envy the people who live in simplicity as Africa’s tribes, for example. I respect them a lot, and their traditions too. They are the humans that need respect, not well-known people who act inhumanly, putting on pedestals materialistic things which they lose after they die. Someone may ask why I live in the city and not in Africa. My reply is: “I chose that way of living, but it doesn’t make me indifferent toward true human beings”. By the way, I send my support to Africa’s people with clothes or donations as much as I can afford. The same goes for Animal rights organizations. If more people did charity, there would be more equality worldwide.

There is a saying people should leave traces in their lives – a child, kindness, or a book.

Going back to the topic because I am sometimes absent-minded. Emotionality is the uniqueness of people. Reactions to daily life situations build character, and showing feelings is proof of humanity. The important here is to share the feelings with friends, lovers, or parents because shared pain is easier to swallow.

Many people, including me, do not say what they feel because the fear of misunderstanding is bigger than self-confidence.

Recently, I decided to share everything I usually hid inside with my parents and a few close people. That brings back positive vibes and motivation in my life. I also started to say what I feel to love confessions straightforwardly. There is no time to lose in my middle-aged life, and I rejected the love of potential dates because I do not want to lose someone else’s time by giving fake hopes. Hiding emotions behind politeness did not help, and people began to respect me more. It is the best I can do because I believe everyone deserves to be loved truly and mutually.

How come The Mutual Attraction’s Law of no emotionality disconnects people?

When persons show no emotions, their energy attracts others who also show no emotionality. That way, an unhealthy and insincere relationship becomes a fact. When people do not connect in their hearts, souls, and mentality, there is no hope for a building couple and life together. It is simple as that.

Fears to open up toward a new potential love or friend interest are huge. If they are not overcome, they break people’s inner selves more than failure or rejection. Bottling up feelings leads to an explosion with a not-appropriate ending.

The sad thing is when someone shows the flower of their emotions, not many people appreciate and understand what showing emotionality’s price. That disappoints the courageous person and goes back into no emotional pattern, which creates a neverending spiral of unhappiness. The authenticity can’t show, and life stops until the broken human stands up again. Usually, that takes a lot of time that considers wasted at some point.

Is it worth dying when you are alive because of No emotionality?

The learning process is challenging and long-term but is worth it. I say that from my experience, feeling happier now than before despite my living conditions are not the best. I can say today proudly I am grateful for all I have, working for a better life because I show my emotions. Everyone can do it if there is a decision.

Now, let’s dance through life emotionally 🙂

 

 

 

Escaping The Banality Of Communication

Banality

Escaping The Banality Of Communication

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A Serious Challenge For Every Kind Of Relationship

Recently, I found my banality in communication with people. I can feel it with every fiber of my body. If it was me, escaping it looks good.

I decided to think about how can I escape that considerable gap of soul connecting through words. Banality is a silent killer of the thrill that once was between two people who like each other.

In my life, I met many people that made me tremble whenever I wrote to them online.  Time passed, and they stopped replying to me back. I thought they did not care about speaking with me. After careful thought, I understood the reason for that cutting lines was myself. My banal approach when talking to people I care about seems to be suffocating. That makes them go away from me.

I put myself and their shoes and found out I act like a savior, nagging mother, or too demanding communicator. Here come the boundaries people like me should put on their giving attitude and willingness to help the close ones. Not everyone feels good about too much communication, banality, and daily talk. Respect for others’ boundaries comes into play only when the two interlocutors state clearly toward each other.

Banality’s role models are understandable after deep introspection, which is important for better human relationships.

“The Savior” Banality Model

I know best that role model. From a young age, I missed emotional support and care, so I started to give almost everything to people who I felt close to my heart. Playing the savior is not a good way to do things when considering relationships. People start to take the individual for granted, using and lying to the person because they feel safe and free to do whatever they wish. “The Saviour” banality model I used a lot in my first stages in the courtship since I was always the activist of the wooing.  It was a mistake on my side because men do not love back their savior as someone more important.

In short, that model is like solving problems for others, and they do not learn to take their responsibilities as a part of every kind of relationship. I got burned by unrequited love with the use of “The Saviour” model.

Today I will not go after any males, I will give hints, and that is. If they understand, okay, and if they do not, they’re not mine.

“The Mother” Banality Model

That model often is misunderstood as caring for a partner’s needs. Care is one thing, motherly nagging, asking too many questions, and pointing the faults is another.

People do not listen to their mothers, but they can not live without their appreciation. That dependence leads to problems in adult’s life. Some personalities become like mothers to their partners because they repeat what they saw. Other people become rebellious because of their moms’ strictness. Both cases lead to unhealthy communication with friends and lovers.

When speaking to someone new, people should look for a balanced attitude that is not overcoming the child-parents boundaries from the past in the partner’s lives. I believe that “The mother” banality model is worse than “The Savior” because it’s like stepping from one mother to another. That makes a person not whole and responsible.

Relationships should be a dance between two mature adults who can take care of themselves and their steps.

“Center of The Universe” Banality Model

Extroverted people usually think the world is spinning around them. When they speak bout their daily life, individual accomplishments, and only themselves, that is a big turn-off. 

Shared knowledge, results, and improved skills are good, but that should not be the everlasting talk when sending messages. There should be given space to that someone people love or like. Communication should flow between both sides. If only one party speaks, that is a monologue, which bores other people, making them ignore the messages and move on.

There is a quote: “What is yours, it will stay yours,” or something in those lines I have read on Facebook. That made me realize I should leave people roaming in peace. If they want to stay in my life, they will.

I give an example of that banality model: I started to write too much to many people online because I wanted to create transparent communication between us and to show I am always present for them, but they got overwhelmed. Of course, they walked away from me and ignored me because I broke their boundaries. Back then, I did not understand that, but now when I started digging before writing that post, I saw everything. My will to be present in the life of people I care for was suffocating, and I lost the relationships.

In conclusion, banality should avoid at all costs because it is killing relationships. When the conversations become banal it is good to be stopped for a while. It is challenging to apply that in daily relationships but it should do for people to continue staying by each other sides. When something is too much, it should be said straightforwardly.

 

 

 

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