How To Handle Unrequited Love In Style?

It’s written for myself and many other singles out there.

The last days before my anniversary are the most challenging because I thoroughly analyze everything in my life. Questions like how far I went, who was by my side, and what I achieved in the last 365 days are the norm for me.

The topic I feel professional is how to handle unrequited love in style by experience.

Many parts of my psyche died last year to be replaced with new patterns. Without a doubt, unrequited love journeys gave me the best lessons. That reminds me of an interesting quote: “Life’s three best teachers: heartbreaks, empty pockets, failures.”

After many life situations I faced, I agree with that statement and have experience with them all. Heartbreaks taught me to trust no one, empty pockets to treasure food, and the roof I have, and failures motivated me to look for another way to achieve what I want.

Today’s topic will be about heartbreaks because they take a lot of time to overcome and keep going onward. In my case, failures created the Poetry book I want to publish since a young age. The empty pockets transformed me into a good household accountant.

But since I am nostalgic, and The Solar eclipse affecting me, I will write for heartbreaks teacher. Only by handling it in style people can keep going forward.

Unrequited love is popular and for me, recently was maybe 25 rejection I received when, as usual, I told about my feelings to a man. The last time I was called “a special girl, but not in a romantic way.” That is the same old saying for staying friends when men do not want to commit to me.

It was expected and I felt funny to even imagine something may happen between me and a man like him. So, I moved on quite fast,t because I observed the signs the last few months, and my denial wasn’t big.

However, the good in my recent situation is finally I found out why men reject me. The reasons are my oversharing information that is not needed, claiming my will for a serious relationship, being dramatic, and unconsciously acting like a victim. I will not explain those reasons, because I am sure most people know them. But intelligent men can feel these reasons from afar and of course, they will run away from responsibility to a somehow clingy person. I never imagined myself being that way, but my recent self-observation told me otherwise.

But how to handle unrequited love in style?

My experience gave me these solutions: keeping myself busy, wine tasting, and reminding myself sober-headed of my real-life situation as a single mom. It’s a fact most men will not take a woman with a child because, I am a beaten family card, objectively speaking. That is the norm, and I do not expect any more to find romantic love, but choosing to believe in miracles gives me motivation.

Keeping myself busy

It has been a long road I walked since last year for my today’s transformation as a personality. For the first time in my life, I started to love myself and forgave my mistakes. But, there are still old patterns that should be cut off to become a better person.

After every rejection I received, I became motivated to improve myself professionally and personally. I started to learn new skills to keep my mind busy and productive. The last time I got rejected by a man, I drove around 600 km to improve my driving skill.

Last year’s rejection I survived by keeping myself busy walking and getting fit. I went 15 kilograms down and took the challenge to join as many writing contests as possible. It’s about the productive way to overcome the pain and negative feelings of low self-esteem and unworthiness. They will not fade away, but distracting the mind saves people to go into depression. Healing hearts takes time and a lot of physical business.

Wine Tasting

That is my favorite way to handle unrequited love in style. I do not get drunk, but while tasting my wine, I cry a lot, and my writing inspiration goes highly intense until I take care of my emotions. I do not need anybody to take care of my feelings, I should do it alone. Poetry and writing are therapy for me. My best works are the ones I wrote in my worst state. That shall be forever in my case.

Another good point in wine tasting is that I try various wines – from red to rose and white. In our world, there are so many tastes I like to experience, but I think about them mostly when I am hurt. However, it’s a good way to move on through life.

One of the reasons I love wines is that they are made with specific feelings from their creators, and the tastes are various depending on what is put into the making process.

There is a thing I like to say to myself after each rejection: “Cry as much as needed! When you’re done, put on your red lipstick and stilettos. Move on with your best look!”

I put on a smile on my face, and it doesn’t matter how much pain I feel. Sarcasm and laughing are great defenses that not everyone notices, but once a person understands the hiding behind a good mood about me, it’s a friend of mine forever.

Reminding myself sober-headed of my real-life situation as a single mom.

Many men came into my life, but my daughter stood by my side forever. If things in my relationships are bad, I remind myself I should be a sober-headed single mom who gives a good example to her child. My girl will not like seeing a weak mom that cries for a man, who doesn’t treasure her, or a broken adult that can’t manage herself. As I explained before, being a single mom is an organization.

I dare to say dating a single mom is far more rewarding because she does not like wasting time with mind games of empty flirts. It’s like people get what they bargained for. Objectively speaking, a mom with a child is a family, not luggage. Of course, most males do not understand a situation like that, but the problem is not mine.

My real-life situation as a single mom is not the best one but I became a strong woman that will be a supporting rock for her man. Single moms have been in places where the feared-to-let-go something that doesn’t work women do not even imagine.

Unfortunately, most females stay in uncomfortable situations because they lack the courage to step on their two feet. Accepting domestic emotional, verbal, and physical abuse as the norm is not the answer. But everyone has their choices.

Handling unrequited love in style is important in human lives.

People should not allow someone to step over them and the disappointment to kill their living will. Heartbreaks are life’s slices that make the soul complete. Tears are healing, bad experience is building up the own self-esteem, and rejection is another brick on the heart’s wall. There is no other way to keep going through daily challenges than breaking the emotional chains that people put on themselves by choice.

Right said, not even one of my past rejectors cared for my personality. It was funny for six of them to call me on my birthday, sending wishes. It’s hypocritical somehow, but at the same time polite.

However, as a good person, I forgave everything to everyone. Letting go of the negativity in my soul, heart, and mind for those, who didn’t treasure me until I was by their side, it’s a step closer to my individuality and choices freedom.

In the end, what happened, can not be changed, and what will happen, occurs in one way or another. But for me, it’s better to be stylish in everything I go through – it’s my life’s signature.

The Mutual Attraction’s Law Of No Emotionality

One Of Today’s Plagues

Nowadays, relationships are more critical than ever. There is a plague between people that is the mutual attraction with no emotionality.

Covid’s situation showed another way of living has its pros and cons. One fo the worse Covid’s sides is that people became unable to show their emotions physically. Before the pandemic, that process started, but after that, it became the worst ever.

People started to introspect themselves so much that they forgot the other humans outside their homes.

That introspection leads to no emotionality. I forgot when was the last time I hugged someone outside my daughter.

Do you remember your last hug outside the family?

When the times are challenging, and no words can help, one hug tells and shows support much more than thousand learned phrases that everyone knows. It shows the person is there for the other one. Of course, platonic relationships are great, but they do not always help enough.

Let’s go back to the topic. Since people looked deep inside themselves because they had nothing else to do, closed at home, the mind and logic overtook the heart and intuition. My belief is when mind and heart conflict, the heart always wins. Emotionality can not suppress forever. One way or another, emotions come out of control. People should be true to themselves and acknowledge they are not logic machines that need to be controlled.

Until that time comes, people are lost in no emotionality and attract the energies of others in the same way.

I call no emotionality a plague that kills humanity because of the basic need for touch and expressing feelings – amputated by choice. Right said I envy the people who live in simplicity as Africa’s tribes, for example. I respect them a lot, and their traditions too. They are the humans that need respect, not well-known people who act inhumanly, putting on pedestals materialistic things which they lose after they die. Someone may ask why I live in the city and not in Africa. My reply is: “I chose that way of living, but it doesn’t make me indifferent toward true human beings”. By the way, I send my support to Africa’s people with clothes or donations as much as I can afford. The same goes for Animal rights organizations. If more people did charity, there would be more equality worldwide.

There is a saying people should leave traces in their lives – a child, kindness, or a book.

Going back to the topic because I am sometimes absent-minded. Emotionality is the uniqueness of people. Reactions to daily life situations build character, and showing feelings is proof of humanity. The important here is to share the feelings with friends, lovers, or parents because shared pain is easier to swallow.

Many people, including me, do not say what they feel because the fear of misunderstanding is bigger than self-confidence.

Recently, I decided to share everything I usually hid inside with my parents and a few close people. That brings back positive vibes and motivation in my life. I also started to say what I feel to love confessions straightforwardly. There is no time to lose in my middle-aged life, and I rejected the love of potential dates because I do not want to lose someone else’s time by giving fake hopes. Hiding emotions behind politeness did not help, and people began to respect me more. It is the best I can do because I believe everyone deserves to be loved truly and mutually.

How come The Mutual Attraction’s Law of no emotionality disconnects people?

When persons show no emotions, their energy attracts others who also show no emotionality. That way, an unhealthy and insincere relationship becomes a fact. When people do not connect in their hearts, souls, and mentality, there is no hope for a building couple and life together. It is simple as that.

Fears to open up toward a new potential love or friend interest are huge. If they are not overcome, they break people’s inner selves more than failure or rejection. Bottling up feelings leads to an explosion with a not-appropriate ending.

The sad thing is when someone shows the flower of their emotions, not many people appreciate and understand what showing emotionality’s price. That disappoints the courageous person and goes back into no emotional pattern, which creates a neverending spiral of unhappiness. The authenticity can’t show, and life stops until the broken human stands up again. Usually, that takes a lot of time that considers wasted at some point.

Is it worth dying when you are alive because of No emotionality?

The learning process is challenging and long-term but is worth it. I say that from my experience, feeling happier now than before despite my living conditions are not the best. I can say today proudly I am grateful for all I have, working for a better life because I show my emotions. Everyone can do it if there is a decision.