So That Is – Short Story

So That Is - Short Story

So That Is – Short Story

Is

Dedicated to Virtual Breakups.

“So, that is what the breakup looks like” – Valery said sadly to herself.

“Yes, my dear friend. It always hurt before the new roads,” said Vivian, hanging up the phone – I come to you tonight.

It had been a long way to come to this story’s end.

Some people like Valery have not experienced a breakup for the single reason that they always were rejected.

The memories of his last words before the parting of their ways still echoed in her head.

Six months earlier.

“Hey, pretty, hello, do you want to be my game partner?” – a message popped up

“Well,” -Valery was hit in the head by a surprise – “It would be good.”

“If you do not want it, no problem for me,” smiled the boy on the screen.

“I do, but why?” she was surprised.

“How come why? Because you look pretty in this game!”, the flirt continued.

“You’re bold. I like you!” told the girl to the unknown boy

“Well, it seems you do not want, to see you!” the game character moved away.

“It is not like that, but we have no points for this yet.” Valery tried to explain.

“Are you sure?” a grinning emoji showed up.

At the same time, a message popped up. An anonymous player sent you romance arrows. The points between those two grew up fast.

“Wow, you are amazing!”- said surprised Valery- “But may I know your name?”

“It’s Blue. I want it that way. Everything between us will stay here, in-game,” told the player.

“But then why?” the girl did not know what to say.

“We will talk later, beautiful I need to go now!”, the mysterious person went offline.

That was the beginning of many weird happenings between Valery and Blue.

Starting the day was good, and both gamers played some time together. It was great until she met another player and got attached to him.

 Slowly, Valery forgot Blue.  Their relationship stopped going forward. The boy wasn’t online often and between different periods.

Four months ago.

Both players went on separate game roads. Sometimes they talked about different things. Valery bought up most of the topics. They were connected to her.

Blue always stood calm by her game character. He listened to her without understanding much. The man tried to make Valery smile and succeeded.

Valery fell for him, but she was loyal to her current game partner.

Three months ago.

Time went by. Blue and Valery talked rarely.

One night, he was drunk. Blue joined in the game and they talked together while watching the beautiful graphics.

Slowly, they began to write naughty things that led them to deeper sexual and virtual connections. The tension between them could hardly be explained in words. They couldn’t resist each other.

 After that night, everything changed. Blue ignored Valery.

The girl wondered if she looked like an easy woman or if he was feeling weird and ashamed.

The truth stays uncovered yet.

After some more time, Valery left the game. She felt lonely and her friends did not play anymore.

Blue still did not say a word about what happened between them. She thought he took her for fun. That hurt her, like many other events.

The current and unclear situation made her quit fast at the place where she felt pain.

Two months ago.

After a long break, Valery decided to join the game again.

“New places and meetings,” she thought. The girl was happily playing, with a different player name, when she saw a beautiful male character.

“Hello, do you want us to play together? ” asked the boy.

“Yes, why not? Let’s go!” said happily the girl.

Both players were happy.

One day they joyfully chatted when both players found they knew themselves from the last game they were in.

“Oh, my god! Is that you, Blue?”

The happy coincidence made both game personalities smile.

“Yes, we are good old friends, Valery.” said indifferently Blue.

This time they began a new like a game couple. It was a happy meeting, but Valery began to want more of that relationship.

In her head, many questions appeared, but she did not ask them. Valery did not want to lose Blue again. She started to misunderstand virtual reality and real life because of her pain inside. It was good to live in a game where there are no challenges and broken hearts.

Blue always said that she was a good friend of his. The girl never asked what the night they had before meant to him. She feared losing him forever.

One month ago.

As time went by, Valery wanted more from Blue. She became obsessive and in a stalker-like state. The girl knew that was not good, but her emotion of miss and uncertainty made her look like a crazy woman.

On top of that, Valery became also dramatic.

Blue never said anything other than he understands not well English and started to ignore her. They did not play together anymore.

The girl’s patience went blank. Her emotions toward him suffocated her. The ignorance and coldness she felt from him made her act vile and ignorant.

He did that on purpose to not break her heart and to open her eyes to the truth. Blue never loved Valery and never saw her as anything more than a game buddy.

She did not want to see the truth, but her instincts told her it was like this.

Valery became pathetic and stood in silence by his side.

One week ago.

“Hey, I am leaving the game,” told Blue.

“What? Why?” asked Valery.

“I am bored with this game, but I do not have a problem with you,” said calmly Blue.

“But what about us?” asked the girl.

“You are a good friend, and this is not Goodbye,” answered maturely the man.

 “Well, but you plan to leave?” the question was one-sided.

“Yes, for sure.” the serious tone was detected.

“I want to share something with you since you are leaving.” the courage took place in Valery’s words.

“Okay, you always can tell me,” Blue listened, as always.

“Well, it is that I have had romantic feelings for you for a long time.” told the girl.

“But this is just a game,” Blue maybe grinned.

“I know, and I did not finish with the talk,” insisted Valery.

Inconvenient smiling emoji went into the conversation.

After the prolonged monologue, the girl did, Blue sent a short text that he has no problem with her and everything is in her mind.

“You’re a good friend of mine,” – the boy said carefully – “We weren’t lovers before.”

“Okay then, I understand everything,” – Valery was very aggrieved – “I free you from me. See you!”

“Why?” – zoned out Blue when a message for a break of their in-game marriage popped out.

“To free you from me,” said Valery, sad and uncertain.

“Oh My God!” the boy was pissed off.

“See you!” continued the angry girl.

Logging off. That was the worst thing a girl could do. It was dramatic, unmatured, and pitiful.

It was too late to undo it.

One day ago.

Logging in with a burden in her heart, Valery wanted to apologize to Blue at least. He was online, and their in-game bond – was broken by him.

” Why?” zoned out Valery.

“Take care,” answered Blue

“Why did you do this?” the girl almost cried.

“I am leaving here. No need to say more,” a cold and indifferent answer by him.

“I am happy I met you,” continued Valery.

“No one can make you happy,” a sarcastic smile emoji.

“But I acted awful toward you, I am sorry,” Valery tried to excuse herself.

“I do not want to talk anymore,” – stopped her words Blue -“I thank you for everything.”

“I respect your decision and you too.” said the girl.

Silence. It was clear that a clean breakup happened.

“I always will remember you,” finished Valery.

Logging off.

Since then, she never saw him again.

Valery knew she was at fault for this story’s ending.

If she didn’t have expectations, things would never turn out this way.

Feelings put in something that people can’t see or touch, always fade away between the misunderstandings and the non-acquaintance with other’s people language and lifestyles.

The story could be different if she had her emotions under control and did not miss the part when nothing in a virtual world was real.

Blue did the best he could to make the girl not feel pitiful, and he acted like a man who cared about others’ personal feelings maturely.

He may be loved her in his way. But when there are no expressions of someone’s feelings, things go down.

After all, the truth never will be found out.

Blue probably cared for Valery as a friend. Or maybe he loved her but did not have the guts to move toward her, knowing they both will not work out as a couple for various reasons.

“So that is how the breakup looks.” – thought the girl – “I have never been on the side that people broke up with. I did that first. It was a good and painful lesson that I remember always.”

Vivian came running, ringing the bell.

“Come in,” said the girl with tears – “I’ll tell you a story.”

“Okay,” answered the guest – “I bring wine and handkerchiefs.”

 

*****

In conclusion: Nothing virtual is real. It’s an escape – from friendship to romance. Nobody wants to become seriously committed. That is my reason for not joining online dating sites. People flirt, speak sexually, and ghost others. Even if someone is outstanding, they can not be recognized. The virtual world is like a never-ending ocean filled with more frogs than fish.

However, it’s the future of the dead human hearts. But, until I am alive my try will be to bring back humanity.

Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly

Rip Out The Wings of A Butterfly?

Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly

And  It will Die

To be Reborn in Something More Beautiful Than Ever Before.

 

Today my mood is a weird combination of rage, fear of the unknown, un unappreciation of my efforts, and disappointment from a loved person.  Not in a negative way through, it’s more like in shaking one for a better life.

When I feel like that, I listen to my favorite HIM song  “Wings Of A Butterfly” which resonates well with my current feeling and it’s my writing motivation. Parts of its lyrics are the basis of my thinking confession today.

Many people live under the motto “Heaven ablaze in our eyes” and “We’re standing still in time in their emotional unavailability to commit. Past disappointments roar and chain the heart to move on. Reasons are various but more likely worse personal experience.

But, tell me, if that experience didn’t exist, would you be the person you are today, with the new wings of a butterfly?

Recently, I got pissed off with a male who treated me hot and cold. One time I was a friend, another- a lover.  In the end that made me rip out the wings of my love’s butterfly soon enough after we started dating. I’m no one’s accessory or a trophy to be brought around, and I want to know where is my place in someone’s life.

Statements like “This Endless mercy line” known as “Situationship” and “We’re crawling side by side”“Toxic Relationship” should not fit in people’s romantic lives. They’re not worth it and kill the personal and couple’s growth. Situationship and toxic relationships are often used as excuses. Many people, who do not want to fully commit and trust others look for a way to avoid responsibility. It’s one of the reasons many singles stay like that forever.

Romantic disappointments lead to philophobia or obsession with someone. Both scenarios bring no good. They make a lot of damage to couples or individuals. However, it’s something uncontrollable sometimes when the love is too strong.

Indifference between partners is the relationship assassin I find in the With Hell Freezing over in our eyes” sentence. 

People are different and they rarely accept others’ faults. A true bond is when someone knows the worst sides of a partner, friend, or team member, and still stays by his side. When they do not see the good sides and try to change the other’s worst sides which are the spice of the human character, there is no future in the relationship. Feelings freeze then, and people separate.

On the other hand, obsession with someone may lead to crimes. They may be from jealousy, envy, or not having enough time between lovers. Every minute and hour is a treasure for those who love each other. Waiting for a call or text message seems endless and creates false thoughts about the partner being uninterested or cheating. That is the basis for jealousy and obsession. If the individual doesn’t control it, the situation goes crazy, leading to unforgivable actions.

Love is like a butterfly, but if its wings start to rip, it’s better to rip them out.

Yes, that way, the feelings will die in pain, darkness, sorrow, and emptiness, but only that way metamorphose comes to the heart. The next butterfly transformation will be a better one.

Letting go of dead emotions without allowing them to transform the heart into steel is better than kissing adamant. I also experienced that in lovemaking with someone. It kills passion and creates a feeling of being a mistake in someone’s life. That taints the soul which is the only asset we have in our human lives.

In the end, the“Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul, my lovephrase is the best lesson people learn when they meet face-to-face with a painful love experience.

Thank you for reading, and start thinking about where you are currently in your romantic life. I will do the same with you virtually.

 

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