Memories Of Istanbul Taught Me New Lessons

At the beginning of my trip to Turkey

This post will be a bit different than my last posts. It is because I am not the same person already. Turkey’s trip changed my personality for good.

Oriental culture always amazed me. I love the smell of Turkey’s food and the traders that made me deviate from the price.

The curious thing in Turkey is that the salespersons respect the customers more if they look for a discount on the original item’s price.

Back in September 2021, I took a short trip to Turkey. I needed to clear my head and decide on a major question in my life. I should find my courage and bravery again.

Whenever I am at a life’s crossroads, I travel alone to different places. That makes me focused and determined to solve the problem.

When I am far from the daily routine, I think better.

I had nothing from what I saw in Turkey. It started with the Mutual Retard I felt between people – men, women, workers, bosses, and especially sales persons to customers. It is true that in Turkey “The customer is the King.” The working ethic there is found almost nowhere else I have been before.

Mutual Retard between people is the basis for any relationship. If it is amiss, the relations fade away.

I hopped on the bus in Burgas at 03.00 am because the waiting on Turkey’s border is long. I had downloaded Elif Shafak’s book “The bastard of Istanbul,” and I started to read. Indeed, it is a great book but nothing like the author’s “Love.” It explains very well women’s lives today. Their choices to give birth or not.

By the way, it is interesting to know that many people do not think abortion is murder. I think it is that, but sometimes choices are challenging. After people make them, it is good to go to sacred places and search for forgiveness. I do it all the time when I feel like a sinner.

However, I listened to music, wrote to my lover then online, and fell asleep. It was a quiet experience for me, and I realized my worries started to fade away.

When we arrived in Istanbul, it was 9 am. Sun was shining bright, touching my skin, and I felt alive. Everything in that city makes me feel happy I live.

People forget that it is a gift to be alive and look only for the big picture, underestimating the small things in life. The little things in life make their flavor and bring happiness. Every greeting, virtual emoji by a loved one, or taking a new picture with the phone, alongside reading a good book make life easier and precious.

My former boyfriend back then replied to every message I sent him. It was like we were together on the trip. I felt happy to feel everything that life offered me back then. I remember it today. It was my happy time in 2021.

I never imagined the things that happened to me when I came back to Bulgaria. But, I enjoyed everything in Istanbul, from the beginning till the end, as I did in my past relationships.

I consumed the atmosphere, feelings, and food in Istanbul with sincere joy. After we drove through the traffic and went to the hotel, I prepared for an online meeting with my boyfriend, and we saw us. We were happy. That made me feel more inspired for the evening that came after. It was the most unforgettable evening I had until then.

I and my travel group went on a yacht that night. It was my first time being on a yacht that moved. There was a live performance on it. On the board were people from different nations – black, white, and Asian. It looked like a human’s union.

 The DJ played various songs. It was the music that connected the people back then. 

They forgot the everlasting racist conflicts. That made the evening special and unique. 

Moving Yacht

People danced, had fun, and watched the live performance. On the second floor of the yacht was a creative business idea. Making a picture with old-style clothes, I felt like a queen. Photographs did a great job. They are professionals, and they take family or couple pictures to make the memory last forever


My dream is to be a Bard in the Old Times


One of the best parts of my yacht trip was when there was a live performance with knives. I volunteered to take part in it. 

Many people were afraid to not get killed by knives accidentally. But the performers are professionals, and some accidents can’t happen. 

Observing people even during the live performance made me realize they are cowards. How they act in real life, they do it the same way on the fun side of it.

 I did not die by the last knife that the performers threw next to my heart to show their skills. I gained respect from all the audience on the yacht. Courage is always respected, believing or not. Many women started to approach me to greet me for my bravery. I felt good after I came out alive on this dangerous journey. But I am like this in my real life too. There is no fear, no gain, after all. There are times when people should risk everything they know and not act cowardly.

Another best time of the yacht’s evening was when the DJ played an African song on which everyone stood to dance – black or white. I do not like racism. Humans are unique in their way. Everyone danced to that song, holding each other hands. That made me cry with joy.

 Is it not that Humanity’s dream? 

Everyone is united and not divided by ego’s struggles. People’s energy radiates from every soul.  

After the collective dance finished, all visitors exited the yacht. Foreigners talked with me outside, and I almost lost my group’s traces.

That night I transformed my fear of the known, stable, and secure into Brave walking toward the unknown. Later, in 2021, I would need that.

On the same night, I uploaded my pictures on Instagram. I met a great disappointment in Turkish men. Many of them asked me to sleep with them because I am a foreigner. That is disgusting – married men to ask you to sleep with them.
Turkish women are beautiful and caring, and they love their husbands deeply. I respect them a lot. In general, Balkan and Eastern Europe women are the best wives. I do not want to offend other women, but when in love, these wives are selflessly giving themselves to their men and children. Many husbands do not respect that, looking for some fun in the unknown.
Of course, in my style, I told the ugly truth to the horny men and made them feel bad because they were acting that way toward their women. Justice before all is one of my life’s mottos.

On the next day, we visited the Asian part of Turkey.


Turkish Coffee


On the last day of my Turkey journey, I visited a mosque before Turkish markets and MALL. I am not a religious person, but when I enter sacred places, I cry a lot and pray for forgiveness for my sins. Everyone has a past and should be accepted.

When I was in the mosque, I felt closer to Universe, and I felt like a part of something bigger than me. The people there were praying, and I felt safe. The curious thing is that the humans enter barefoot into the Muslim sanctuary. I finally understood why.
There was energy entering the body, connecting it to the earth, where everyone goes after they die.

I was happy when I was in Turkey, and I will go there again. I believe the next time I go there, I will be with someone dear that will not leave me on my own. We will experience everything together because sometimes I got tired of being my solo trip buddy. Until then, I will go on my own.

Istanbul Blue Mosque – Closer to the Universe


Calling Someone “Strong” Is Not A Compliment

Everyone has heard: “You’re a strong man”, “You’re a powerful woman”, etc.

That phrase is not a compliment anymore. It means: “Do it on your own, alone, because I have no time for you, but I will listen when you need me.”

Best friends, lovers, and even family members go away physically or mentally when things that happen to another person are harsh. If they take part, that will ruin their comfort.

At a time like that, strangers always help more by listening. I say it by experience.
Recently I had talks with many people who once upon a time were a part of my life. They all have said to me in different periods: “You are a strong woman,” and yes, they have right. But, I am an alone and powerful woman because the men and women ran away from my life when I cried silently for a listening ear or some moral support.

However, outside my dramatic approach today because of the Solar Eclipse, I will summarize the points of my opinion regarding today’s topic.

People read many books, articles, forums, etc. for self-help. They consume every piece of information and forget that humans are something real and out of paper. The other scenario for this indifference is living in the own head and not going out to reach for another person.

The readers become indifferent because they do not practice face-to-face communication or are afraid to express their support physically with a hug or even a pat on the shoulder. With this way of thinking, there will never be a connection on a level outside reading.

Even the message online could help, but both interlocutors should know each other very well to experience that. Even if they do when the time is challenging, there is a deep, indifferent silence on the other side of the phone or personal computer.

Is that alright for heartfelt communication between close-to-heart people?


Let’s say, all people have somebody they used to know, and who has the hardship to express himself. When they need him to connect with the talk, the answer that is given is cold, polite, and pushes away the seeker for moral support. That shows a clear lack of personal connection between the two persons. If there is any bond between them, the coldness of words makes people connect less. The sincerity seems uncertain.

Many people indeed have problems with expressing their feelings. They should at least try doing it for the sake of the relationship and make the other person feel treasured – romantic or friendly. Coldness in communication only makes communication forced with time, and the one-party leaves it. And the “strong person” talk makes it not work.

Is there a real connection then?

There is a saying that love is not comfortable. I do not mean romantic love only. For a matter of heart,t is the right saying. I mean that friendship should also not be based only on comfort and comfortable choices to run away when time is challenging. Sometimes is enough for the person who goes through a hard time to calm down with simple words such as “Everything will be alright” or “I am here for you.” These words, however, should be sincere and not just because there is a need for something to be said.

Comfort is a good thing, but not when it comes to relationships. It becomes fake with time if people look for each other only when they are comfortable.

Is the contentment a bridge or a sliver?

An interesting situation to call someone “strong” happens when the one who says it, runs away somewhere calm and speaks from afar without putting much care into the words or letters. 

When people are far, they begin to know more and do less for the person who needs them in the concrete moment of weakness. 

Most humans love to avoid drama and go to safer places where the worse situation cannot reach them. It seems a bit hypocritical. But running away is well known for millions of years into Human evolution. 

Right said, today I do not see humanity as the way it was in old times. That goes for any kind of evolution, too. Everyone runs away and stays safe on his own, blaming others for not being by their sides. The bond is a two-way ticket between two hearts and ten steps divided in half for every party to make them.

Choosing to run away from a loved person when he goes through hell, is unserious and false. 

Is that showing care for someone?

I said in the paragraph above. I see no evolution in humans today. But the reason for that is simple – laziness. 

It is lazy to call someone “strong” without putting an effort to be by his side. In today’s world, there are so many luxuries, and material things, which birth came from insipidness on what to do with money and time, for example, that people have forgotten what evolving means. 

Everything can be bought, including fake feelings, time, and pleasure that make people stagnant and impotent to love with their hearts and souls. They become lazy to feel, fight, and keep their loved ones.

Words ran dry as a distant mirage, and the compassionate touch is like a moth burned by the flame of self-help, and I mean self as Lonely. Communication between hearts dies or is not expressive, making it almost the same as demise.

Also, I can say that when the elementary care for a friend is amiss, there is no reason to do charities for the poor to show off, for example.

I think after answering the questions above, people will understand why calling someone “strong” is not a compliment, but most like leaving the person in the dark.

There was a time when “you are powerful” was a compliment, but now the meaning is far behind its original idea.

Many people indeed prefer solving their problems alone, but here the importance is the gesture of showing care. When there is proof someone cares, things become different.

People, in general, are strong, but that is not an excuse to shut off someone who they need gentle and kind support to keep going. Nobody wants to feel lonely and does not deserve it. Humans are love seekers and givers, or they should be.

But, today, I am not sure if there are still humans, so I prefer talking with animals and doing animal charities.
I still believe in the good of humans, but I am always proved wrong. However, I will continue to believe, and maybe someday, I will be wrong.

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