Hollywood Hills Or The Great Ocean’s Waves?

Hollywood Hills or The Great Ocean's Waves?

Hollywood Hills Or The Great Ocean’s Waves?


About Life Choices.

Recently I listen to one of my favorite songs. It’s “Holywood Hills” by Sunrise Avenue. That song’s lyrics gave me a reason to think and create another confession.

Everybody knows about Hollywood Hills Dream. Not many people understand the price of staying there and that they’re somehow limited in their lives. I have never been a resident of a rich neighborhood and maybe will not be. But, after reading about many famous people, my idea about Hollywood’s life summarizes loneliness. Pure and unknown for ordinary people because in Holywood nobody stays with a person for himself.

The idea of the “Hollywood Hills” song is about choices.

To stay in the rich neighborhood under the radar of everyone and the lack of privacy, or live an ordinary life, doing what the heart desires?

Becoming a famous person has a price and it’s not for everyone. Surely, materialistic and consumer life in every area is interesting.

Will that be forever?

I am not sure about it. The reason for my love for “Holywood Hills” is that I have been on both sides of life – rich and poor.  While living in my hometown years ago, my family was wealthy. And still, it is, but I am not there.

When I moved to Burgas for love toward my ex-boyfriend and the sea fifteen years ago, my knowledge of poverty grew rapidly, looking at the great ocean’s waves of my new life.

It was not the pretty picture my mind painted. The daily fight with bills and life matters, in general, started immediately. I learned to organize better and to create a budget. Many things I didn’t even know while living under the gold parental wing showed up. Everything was unknown to me since I lived in a golden cage.

Listening to the “Hollywood Hills” song gives me chills. It shows the internal fight to continue living as there is no tomorrow with the dirtiness and limitations of a materialistic world or going free when no money is a motivator, but the internal fire to achieve goals.

Heart’s freedom is not an easy choice. Many sacrifices are required to follow a fast heartbeat but that state is the closest to happiness.

The great ocean’s waves are in the context of living alone.

Being alone means freedom to follow individual dreams without brainwashing models of life which can be easily found in places like Holywood Hills. To stay there someone should lose identity and follow the rules of popularity. They are harsh and isolating.

Living a rich life has two cons: falseness and loneliness. The pros are money and pleasure.

When people have enough material things, they start to feel suffocating and bored because they literally can buy everything, including “friends”. But, the companions stay by the person’s side until they are under the spotlight. When they got sick, they have caretakers because there are no close-to-heart people to care for them. They never feel sincere human contact for free.

On the other side, living a free life has sincerity from a small group of people has a positive side, but the negative is sometimes feeling shallow and trapped in the mundane. But that shall pass.

The true expression of feelings through the things people love to do can’t be experienced with no money in the world. It’s a fact wealth is important, but when there is freedom of living, that stays on life’s backseat.

My belief is people should live outside any limitations that society and money put on them forcefully and they choose it for free sometimes. That is why I love the “Holywood Hills” song so much.

Perfumes Have Rock’s Souls

Rock's Souls

Perfumes Have Rock’s Souls


Dedicated to innovative people

I like specific, unique, unpopular, inspiring, and heavy perfumes to wear on myself. The same goes for the people who are involved with me. Rock’s souls are those who dare to keep going against all odds, which builds serious respect in me toward them.

Sitting at my home while I drink coffee before going on a long road to my hometown, I smelled my favorite aromas “Al Ghadeer” by Nabeel Perfumes, and  Arabian’s Secrets “Habibi.”

Wondering which one to choose, I remembered the movie that inspired me to write today – “Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer.”

Perfumes are authentic.

The same goes for some people’s souls, but most humans choose to stay in a crowd because it’s safer.  Safety is a high question, especially when citizens are living alone, counting only on themselves. Waiting for the numerous day to pass, people lose pieces of their souls when doing nothing for their dreams. Not everyone is like that, but it’s rare to see someone going after his goals with full force. The people’s traces are identified in their perfumes, combined with hormones. Authenticity is like the original aroma that someone dares to share.

The “Perfume: The Story of A Murderer” movie is one of the greatest teachers of perfection nowadays. It’s an undeniable fact the film is dark, grotesque, and inhuman. Since I like to dig into reasons someone is doing or not doing anything, I want to understand better the murderer’s psychology. 

Many people search the Perfection in every form. They go mad for finding it and see as they want, stepping over others, and doing terrible things in the name of a perfect thing. That is not understandable by the crowds. The seekers are claimed by society as maniacs, weird, psychopaths, or intimidating. My belief is that trend will not fade away anytime soon, but I dare to say every human today is born as a hunter, looking for its prey. There is a good song that explains naturality today by Imagine Dragons. I do not think that being natural is the same as being original.

Why not the perfumer finds his perfect creation too?

The main character in the movie is a man obsessed with doing his best perfume. That person was thought by his mentor well but wanted to improve, showing the world he is the best perfumer ever. He took a person’s uniqueness by bottling it forever. Once the human body dies, the authenticity is gone because there is no soul and beating heart inside to create it.

Metaphorically speaking, the perfumer made the dead women forever alive, because he took their living essences. The way sure it’s inhuman, but the higher purpose is also there with the reason for the murder.

Many theories explain life after death, but they do not change the fact of inevitability.  But there are reasons why perfumer collects women’s souls since he never been loved truly by someone. The reasons for the killing in the name of perfection are obsession, jealousy, and the amiss of a true person’s affection.


When people fall in love with someone, they become obsessive without even seeing it. The same goes when humans are enamored with perfection. It’s a sad fact that love and war are no rules which make people mad for achieving something – obtaining their lover’s body or doing things perfectly despite everything, including murdering another person. That obsessive behavior becomes the norm for the person and he goes even deeper in searching his ways to obtain the body or perfection. To judge is good, but only judgment will not save the future display of the same madness over again. Clear reasoning is needed to cut the darkness in every human’s soul roots.

Once the reason is understood and accepted by the person himself. With that knowledge, things start to become better, because it’s the survival law that every problem has a solution. It’s in human nature to resolve a situation – it could be avoided or taken care of. There is no other choice.


I often mistake Jealousy for Envy. The first is felt for loved persons because they share their time with others.  The second is connected to famous people that have a great life. The reactions of ordinary citizens, who didn’t dare to move out of their comfort zone, are usually weird. Both  Jealousy and Envy are destructive, they fuel human aggression.

Romantic jealousy is transforming people into stalkers, and if the object of their affection doesn’t give them what they want, they humiliate or even murder him.  in their heads, the person is doing wrong by not letting them inside their hearts.

Popularity envy makes people look bad and far from themselves by coping with the style of their idols.

Jealousy can be seen as a defense mechanism for people to not stay alone at all costs. It’s another product of today’s carelessness.  The human fears of sadness and loneliness are the main providers of the negative emotion I talked about above. I believe it can be controlled if the person understands that being jealous is not the key to love or fame.

The Amiss Of True Person’s Affection

I believe that is the reason the perfumer started to murder people. That is his proof he is the best of himself, accepting his lack of human attitude. As far as the movie story goes, I can sense the bond he built up with his mentor is the only form of the human attitude he felt ever. When people aren’t loved or showed affection at a young age, they become numb and cut off their relationships. When human interaction is amiss, humans start to do weird things to fill the void of unlived feelings.

The idleness may show itself in various shapes like a fetish for something, trying to breathe life in non-living objects like plush toys, or abuse of different animals or insects. Sometimes, the cruelty of actions points at other human beings, creating false self-affirmation the thing that is done is for good. In that case, the perfumer blurred the line between cruel genius, perfect combination, and human connection.

Many people today do the same, but the tools are changed to cover inhuman activities and you know what I mean.

Rock’s Souls

Under that phrase  I mean two things: rock music lovers and souls that have been shattered so many times that their tears became a healing light.

Both types are similar in that they choose their freedom. It considers others’ opinions, solitude in their lives, following their dreams, and a bit of rebellion to save their hearts. That way is challenging to be living because it’s lonely.

However, rebels are geniuses in disguise and they are the true humanity leaders that show there is another way out of the crowd.

Hate, Envy, Jealousy, and Obsession are their shadows, though.

Rock’s souls have a unique perfume that even the best murderer couldn’t bottle up because rock’s souls leave traces while they’re alive both in mind and body outside the mass. The rock’s soul tracks are engraved in other human hearts, waking up fear of the unknown. Psychologically speaking, that dread is the strongest one.

That week I went to Rock Circus for the first time in my life. It was something I never imagined I will experience in my life. Rock clothes, music, atmosphere, and the unique show made me feel grateful I am alive. My admiration and respect for every single artist in that show is undeniable.

The things that impressed me in the spectacle were the trust between partners in the show and the emotions I could feel when looking at them doing their acts. It’s outside the casual human’s mistrust and using someone’s interest attitude.

As a rock music lover, I enjoyed the show and remembered every second of it. Most of the guests sitting in the circus were there with no open hearts to accept what they saw by their choice. For me, every fiber of my body felt every single move and emotion of the artist. I sang while listening to some of my favorite rock evergreens and truly felt happy I am there. Usually, I am not into singing :).

Artist’s job is to make people feel. It doesn’t matter the creator’s occupation as long as there is a trace left in another person’s heart.

New ideas are mostly unwelcome, but I believe the Rock Circus originators felt supported by their show guests. That made them happy and I saw it in their eyes. It’s hard for me to explain with words the feelings I got from that spectacle even with my good writing skills. The show should be lived and felt. I highly recommend it even if it made me sleepless all night from the euphoria.

Innovative people, in general, are rejected by others or made feel like they are nobody in the name of money or fame. It’s wrong to make someone feel unworthy because of reputation. I believe every human is equal and should be accepted for his uniqueness if they choose to be genuine.

Rock’s souls looked as those who enlight others

I fit in that category well, because in my life before turning forty, it came a time when I do not need anyone by my side to make me feel whole. It’s an uncomfortable feeling because its creation was birthed by many rejections and failures in every life’s areas. My recent rejection was today, romantically. I never expect anything anymore and feel gratitude because now I am one idea freer to live.

Every tear that dropped from my eyes turned to light, and I want to share my experiences in many situations to support emotionally and virtually those, who are at their life’s crossroads.

My saying is that people are not alone as they think because there is always someone out there, in virtual reality, who has gone through the same endeavors.

For today, I finish my confession and want to share a video from the Rock Circus. Visiting it again is another of my goals already.

I love Guns’ and Roses “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” song. When I watched the spectacle and the artist’s act, I cried from happiness and a bit of sadness in that song. It’s not shameful to cry on music, films, or books, remember.  I do it and feel that my heart is still beating.







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