To Call It Quits – Poem

To Call It Quits - Poem

To Call It Quits – Poem

dedicated to quitters who didn’t give a chance

There was a time

I wanted to be his silver moon

And he could stay forever my sun

Between phone calls  and messages

Through rare touches and smiles

I felt like a robber

Who stole his precious time

Then I become the business partner

Who should be loyal

Forever to follow

Without a concrete clause

Will we be something together?

Spending the nights on the headphones

Never heard of simply defining

Things as  sincere “I love you”

Not even an action for me

In a way to understand

What I mean for a morrow

Through everything passed

I found a one-night lover

Who smoothly cut the line

Of my illusion for our tomorrow

And with all that pain

I continued to scoop out

The pieces of my enamored soul

That was thrown away

For uncertain reasons

There’s  a popular saying

When a man loves you, he calls

You even at midnight

To show you he’s not blind

Toward the beauty of a woman

He purely adores

And when there are no performances

People start to look like squids

There comes the time to call it quits

Even the pain is unbearable

Throughout neverending sorrow

Time will make heartbeat pass away

But never forget the feelings

Because there was true  love

Which was like usual, unrequited

He was the moon, painting me with his glow

Until the man became continuously bored

By putting his hopes in me like the sun

Whenever is emotionally hot to hold on

And, in the end, I am not someone’s Buffon

Since I deeply honor personal splits

Now they became ugly, and it’s time to call it quits

 There’s no point in one-sided Amor

Especially when the other party is like Thor


When I was a teenager, I loved H.I.M. Ville Valo was my dream man to marry. Today it’s still like that, he has the depth, intelligence, emotionality, and action orientation that works on me like an aphrodisiac.

It was sad for that band to separate, but Ville said they lost the H.I.M. authentic sound, and it was for good to move on in their ways.

However, my attraction to myths, darkness, and psychological metaphors is neverending. Exactly like my curiosity. Everything was written in H.I.M.’s songs. Listening to them, I remember and feel like the lyrics are made for me.

The point of my thinking confession today is to call it quits when you don’t feel appreciated and like in a relationship. It’s a painful and slow process. For me, it takes many months to let go and keep going, but once the wake-up call is a fact, there is no turning love. It doesn’t matter how deep the wounds are. Staying somewhere when the feeling of disturbance prevails over safety and stability is unhealthy.

Right said, I can’t let go of the man I loved after many months yet, but daily, step by step, stanza by stanza, I do it because every fiber of my body screams I am not his person. It’s like emotional suicide. Whenever is no mutual love, people should walk away through tears and bruises.

If people fall hard in love, like me, they will understand better my situation. For those who take it easier, my sincere admiration.




Hiding Away – Poem

Hiding Away - poem

Hiding Away – Poem

is dedicated to uncertain feelings and insecurities

Hiding away

Is temporary decision

Suppressing the pain

That started nervousness

Created by individual fear

Or maybe the insecurities

Sometimes I wonder

Should I walk far away

Continuously hiding

To spare my sentimental mind

And defending my heart

By building high walls

That no one can catch me

It’s the best place to hide

From empty illusions

And vulnerability to cry

I don’t like being a weakling

In my or another’s eyes

I want to hide away

Until I see enlighting

In my emotion tunnel

There’s no one to catch me

To cope with hiding

I feel now’s not the time

Because I see unclearly

My wings can not fly

Becoming like a burden

My freedom divided

Between evolution

Of meet and abide

Heartfelt consciousness

It’s time for a change

But I avoid it

Because of my stubborn pride

I should be courageous

Yet, I prefer hiding away

From uncertain feelings

And the guilt of getting by

So, I wait for a resolution

But it will not happen today


Sometimes I want to hide away in my shell. After many expectations and resolving others’ problems, because I love to help my close-to-heart people, it becomes draining. After quarrels and listening to every situation of people around me,  my mind goes blocked. Then a retreat would help me if I allow it but I don’t do it often. Energy is an important resource. It’s not about a “half glass full” story, but recharging is a must.

Whenever I feel hurt and misunderstood, hiding away is a good option, and that usually costs me an end of a friendship or any other relationship.

At first, I look for the mistakes in my attitude but after a while, my thoughts tell me I am not the only one at fault for failing a bond. If the other side makes me regularly hurt emotionally or betrays me, it’s not good.

Then I become nervous and want to hide away from the painful feelings and uncomfortable truths. As a human, my logic can’t fight everything. It’s better to hear my feelings and accept them to move on.




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