Fitting In – Triolet Poem

Fitting in - Triolet Poem

Fitting In – Triolet Poem

is

Dedicated to relationship uncertainty and status quo.

These fitting-in situations should be cleared as soon as possible.

 

There are shaping forms to fit in.

Where do I fit in your living?

I started my mind cleaning.

There are shaping forms to fit in.

Do I enter into your life or do I leave it?

I  may physically cut it for a mental reason.

There are shaping forms to fit in.

Where do I fit in your living?

 

*****

Triolet poems always give clarity in every situation. But the purpose of “Fitting in” is a wake-up call from a questionable relationship dynamic. Many people do not explain themselves to their new partners.

Actions speak louder than words when it comes to fitting in someone’s life.

Based on my experience, I haven’t felt a part of my questionable partners. My curiosity points to “Are we even a couple without talking it out?” and the reply is a sound “No.”

The human brain always plays tricks when there is a matter of the heart. Questions like “Oh, does he has a lot of work to not call me?” for weeks or “Does he ever think of me?” for a month, and “What are we?” always roam through the mind of the involved person. It’s called the status quo. The interesting here is many people try to lie and use their self-beliefs against themselves. They think that someone is busy with his life and for that reason can’t find time to call or text.

 The situation of fitting into someone’s life gives a clear answer to the status quo.

 It takes time for someone to start liking another person and know where they stand. In most cases, after the first three dates make things clear. There is an old saying that when a man can live without a woman for a day, he can do it for life. Today people are liberated and allow a man or a woman to live without contacting them for weeks, and even months or years, thinking “He loves me but is busy.”

If someone is too busy in the first place, and cannot fit into others’ lives, why they even started to communicate without finishing it?

I believe it’s better to not start anything without the idea of wrapping it. It’s like a martyr’s game. Yes, it’s painful to let go and watch how something beautiful fades away, but it’s better to draw a line if there will be only knowing someone briefly or going deeper with them.

Like an ex-martyr whom I liked to play a lot, now I stand strictly on my two feet. My brokenness was so much I couldn’t even stop thinking about staying single and made delusions for a man who doesn’t even find the time to text or it was uncomfortable to speak on the phone with me in his friend’s presence. They will say he is a man under a slipper.

So What?

Every man becomes under slipper after many years of family life and women become home-wives in one way or another. That shouldn’t look like a claim, it’s a fact. On the other side, many people do not want to commit to not losing their faces or egos.

Fitting in other people’s lives.

In every relationship is good to check signs if both partners are making efforts to fit into each other lives. At first, small steps, then gradually to leaps if they are worth it. Being objective in a relationship dynamic is always a must and there is no need for self-pity or creating a delusional idea for someone. Activities together and conversations about shared futures show that people are involved in each other’s lives and want to be together without avoiding contact.

There is no need for forced fitting into someone’s life. Listen to your hearts.

 

So That Is – Short Story

So That Is - Short Story

So That Is – Short Story

Is

Dedicated to Virtual Breakups.

“So, that is what the breakup looks like” – Valery said sadly to herself.

“Yes, my dear friend. It always hurt before the new roads,” said Vivian, hanging up the phone – I come to you tonight.

It had been a long way to come to this story’s end.

Some people like Valery have not experienced a breakup for the single reason that they always were rejected.

The memories of his last words before the parting of their ways still echoed in her head.

Six months earlier.

“Hey, pretty, hello, do you want to be my game partner?” – a message popped up

“Well,” -Valery was hit in the head by a surprise – “It would be good.”

“If you do not want it, no problem for me,” smiled the boy on the screen.

“I do, but why?” she was surprised.

“How come why? Because you look pretty in this game!”, the flirt continued.

“You’re bold. I like you!” told the girl to the unknown boy

“Well, it seems you do not want, to see you!” the game character moved away.

“It is not like that, but we have no points for this yet.” Valery tried to explain.

“Are you sure?” a grinning emoji showed up.

At the same time, a message popped up. An anonymous player sent you romance arrows. The points between those two grew up fast.

“Wow, you are amazing!”- said surprised Valery- “But may I know your name?”

“It’s Blue. I want it that way. Everything between us will stay here, in-game,” told the player.

“But then why?” the girl did not know what to say.

“We will talk later, beautiful I need to go now!”, the mysterious person went offline.

That was the beginning of many weird happenings between Valery and Blue.

Starting the day was good, and both gamers played some time together. It was great until she met another player and got attached to him.

 Slowly, Valery forgot Blue.  Their relationship stopped going forward. The boy wasn’t online often and between different periods.

Four months ago.

Both players went on separate game roads. Sometimes they talked about different things. Valery bought up most of the topics. They were connected to her.

Blue always stood calm by her game character. He listened to her without understanding much. The man tried to make Valery smile and succeeded.

Valery fell for him, but she was loyal to her current game partner.

Three months ago.

Time went by. Blue and Valery talked rarely.

One night, he was drunk. Blue joined in the game and they talked together while watching the beautiful graphics.

Slowly, they began to write naughty things that led them to deeper sexual and virtual connections. The tension between them could hardly be explained in words. They couldn’t resist each other.

 After that night, everything changed. Blue ignored Valery.

The girl wondered if she looked like an easy woman or if he was feeling weird and ashamed.

The truth stays uncovered yet.

After some more time, Valery left the game. She felt lonely and her friends did not play anymore.

Blue still did not say a word about what happened between them. She thought he took her for fun. That hurt her, like many other events.

The current and unclear situation made her quit fast at the place where she felt pain.

Two months ago.

After a long break, Valery decided to join the game again.

“New places and meetings,” she thought. The girl was happily playing, with a different player name, when she saw a beautiful male character.

“Hello, do you want us to play together? ” asked the boy.

“Yes, why not? Let’s go!” said happily the girl.

Both players were happy.

One day they joyfully chatted when both players found they knew themselves from the last game they were in.

“Oh, my god! Is that you, Blue?”

The happy coincidence made both game personalities smile.

“Yes, we are good old friends, Valery.” said indifferently Blue.

This time they began a new like a game couple. It was a happy meeting, but Valery began to want more of that relationship.

In her head, many questions appeared, but she did not ask them. Valery did not want to lose Blue again. She started to misunderstand virtual reality and real life because of her pain inside. It was good to live in a game where there are no challenges and broken hearts.

Blue always said that she was a good friend of his. The girl never asked what the night they had before meant to him. She feared losing him forever.

One month ago.

As time went by, Valery wanted more from Blue. She became obsessive and in a stalker-like state. The girl knew that was not good, but her emotion of miss and uncertainty made her look like a crazy woman.

On top of that, Valery became also dramatic.

Blue never said anything other than he understands not well English and started to ignore her. They did not play together anymore.

The girl’s patience went blank. Her emotions toward him suffocated her. The ignorance and coldness she felt from him made her act vile and ignorant.

He did that on purpose to not break her heart and to open her eyes to the truth. Blue never loved Valery and never saw her as anything more than a game buddy.

She did not want to see the truth, but her instincts told her it was like this.

Valery became pathetic and stood in silence by his side.

One week ago.

“Hey, I am leaving the game,” told Blue.

“What? Why?” asked Valery.

“I am bored with this game, but I do not have a problem with you,” said calmly Blue.

“But what about us?” asked the girl.

“You are a good friend, and this is not Goodbye,” answered maturely the man.

 “Well, but you plan to leave?” the question was one-sided.

“Yes, for sure.” the serious tone was detected.

“I want to share something with you since you are leaving.” the courage took place in Valery’s words.

“Okay, you always can tell me,” Blue listened, as always.

“Well, it is that I have had romantic feelings for you for a long time.” told the girl.

“But this is just a game,” Blue maybe grinned.

“I know, and I did not finish with the talk,” insisted Valery.

Inconvenient smiling emoji went into the conversation.

After the prolonged monologue, the girl did, Blue sent a short text that he has no problem with her and everything is in her mind.

“You’re a good friend of mine,” – the boy said carefully – “We weren’t lovers before.”

“Okay then, I understand everything,” – Valery was very aggrieved – “I free you from me. See you!”

“Why?” – zoned out Blue when a message for a break of their in-game marriage popped out.

“To free you from me,” said Valery, sad and uncertain.

“Oh My God!” the boy was pissed off.

“See you!” continued the angry girl.

Logging off. That was the worst thing a girl could do. It was dramatic, unmatured, and pitiful.

It was too late to undo it.

One day ago.

Logging in with a burden in her heart, Valery wanted to apologize to Blue at least. He was online, and their in-game bond – was broken by him.

” Why?” zoned out Valery.

“Take care,” answered Blue

“Why did you do this?” the girl almost cried.

“I am leaving here. No need to say more,” a cold and indifferent answer by him.

“I am happy I met you,” continued Valery.

“No one can make you happy,” a sarcastic smile emoji.

“But I acted awful toward you, I am sorry,” Valery tried to excuse herself.

“I do not want to talk anymore,” – stopped her words Blue -“I thank you for everything.”

“I respect your decision and you too.” said the girl.

Silence. It was clear that a clean breakup happened.

“I always will remember you,” finished Valery.

Logging off.

Since then, she never saw him again.

Valery knew she was at fault for this story’s ending.

If she didn’t have expectations, things would never turn out this way.

Feelings put in something that people can’t see or touch, always fade away between the misunderstandings and the non-acquaintance with other’s people language and lifestyles.

The story could be different if she had her emotions under control and did not miss the part when nothing in a virtual world was real.

Blue did the best he could to make the girl not feel pitiful, and he acted like a man who cared about others’ personal feelings maturely.

He may be loved her in his way. But when there are no expressions of someone’s feelings, things go down.

After all, the truth never will be found out.

Blue probably cared for Valery as a friend. Or maybe he loved her but did not have the guts to move toward her, knowing they both will not work out as a couple for various reasons.

“So that is how the breakup looks.” – thought the girl – “I have never been on the side that people broke up with. I did that first. It was a good and painful lesson that I remember always.”

Vivian came running, ringing the bell.

“Come in,” said the girl with tears – “I’ll tell you a story.”

“Okay,” answered the guest – “I bring wine and handkerchiefs.”

 

*****

In conclusion: Nothing virtual is real. It’s an escape – from friendship to romance. Nobody wants to become seriously committed. That is my reason for not joining online dating sites. People flirt, speak sexually, and ghost others. Even if someone is outstanding, they can not be recognized. The virtual world is like a never-ending ocean filled with more frogs than fish.

However, it’s the future of the dead human hearts. But, until I am alive my try will be to bring back humanity.

%d bloggers like this: