New Road – Poem

is dedicated to new destinations

 

I found a new road

Unexpected

When I closed the door

After going heartbroken

One last time

Before I stopped trying

Fulfilling someone’s expectation

Playing theatrical roles

Wearing fake-feeling robes

To gain my man’s attention

But I was never his woman

Bittersweet meaning

I should move on

On the new road, I’m seeing

Despite its thorns

It was funny

Once I  had let go

The painful deception

Of having a lover over the phone

That’s why I quit reading

Every single invitation to connect

Because I don’t want to dream

For someone in a distant log

When I stopped believing

And smiled on the new road

It was funny how immediately

I received way too many phone calls

For face-to-face meetings

That I will try giving it a go

There was a time I was a believer

In the eternal form of true love

But today I am unforgiving

To everyone that makes me like a dot

In his never-ending to-do-list

I am precious to those who want

As a woman and invite me to go

Outside and meet them

Not being a reserved plan

It’s abject

I found a new road

Like the silk route in the Chinese

To follow the threads of a rose

That fate may send me or not

Even so

I found a hobby in coin collecting

And feel cold as a metal

When it comes to second chances

I will not self-bleeding my soul

Becoming illusionary connector

To People who don’t want to love

Physically and without respecting

My personality as a whole

*****

It’s weird how life changes in a moment. Yesterday’s tears become like a  memory when the hand’s palm lets feelings go.  There is a saying: “Let the persons go, if they come back, they’re yours.” However, nobody comes back when they taste the freedom.

It’s true last month I went through an emotional transformation and found my new purpose.

As always, writing saved my soul from shattering, but now it’s a bit different. I want to express myself mostly as a poet, which I have been all of my life but tried to write in other genres. The stanzas make me put better what I feel and heal me.

Recently, my curiosity made me research silver coins and especially their creation stories. That led me to unknown mind angles of myself. It seems people transform even when they don’t understand how.

Today, for the first time, I felt sexy, comfortable, and loveable toward myself.