Perfect Lies – Poem

Is

It is dedicated to new beginnings that start by overcoming old patterns.

 

While drinking my wine

In the cheapest of glasses,

I can not deny

My memory’s coming

Back on my mind

To make me remember

How perfectly I lied

My past undevotion

To make up the lines

Of tears that inspire

The pain that arises,

Remember the lovers

Who made me survive

Their most perfect lies

For new of beginning

Going down to revive

The power of believing

Into the past of youth hive

I became more clever

From saving my pride

That gives a reason

To not further forgiving

Down memory line,

I continue reviewing

What should I have undone

To keep me from grieving

Perfection on my own

That indeed is deceiving

In a long time the run

To play unforgiven

And be out of love

The clock stopped ticking

While I listen to Night Jazz

In my rented residence

Dreaming of the future, Alas.

************

In January 2022, I moved to a rented house with my child. At first, it was an empty place with nothing in it. I made it feel like home – not as beautiful as my last living place, but it was a peaceful space for my new life with my daughter.

At first, I bought a few wine glasses, but I broke most of them, and now are four. I put a lot of furniture in my rented home. I am uncertain how much time I will spend there, but as a free soul, blogger, and Zumba lover, I need my home space.

Recently, I have thought about moving on without my old patterns and seeing them fall apart. It’s somehow weird because it’s like a snake skin that is changed. After so many lies I used to tell myself and unconsciously to all the people I have ever loved, I still seek forgiveness for myself. Maybe it’s egotistical or the way my current life should go on. But, I feel with every fiber of my body there is a need for a drastic change in my life.