Think about it while listening to that song.

Today, like every other day, I took a walk to my office. I saw many people drinking coffee, moving around one old gentleman as if he was invincible.
He sold flowers. Yellow ones that he grew up in his garden. They cost 0.04 cents each.

He was with wet eyes and rough hands. He cried.
Not a single person cared for him. Nobody cared about buying his flowers which he grew with his efforts.

But, people are concerned to sit comfortably at coffee shops drinking a coffee for 4 euro each, or buying a drink from the coffee automates that is popular in Bulgaria, up to 2 euro.

Watching the paradoxical situation, I wondered if should I cry or laugh. It’s a bittersweet situation.
I had only 4 euros in my wallet.

I gave the old gentleman 2 euros to buy as many flowers as possible and he gave me one more than what I requested.

In Bulgaria, there is a tradition of giving an odd number of flowers to the living people, and for the dead persons — an even number of flowers.
The old gentleman spoke with me for about ten minutes. He cried, stressed, pointing out that people have no money to give more than 0.04 cents for his flowers.

The old gentleman spoke with me for about ten minutes. He cried, stressed, pointing out that people have no money to give more than 0.04 cents for his flowers.

Watching people around me, drinking a coffee for more than 0.04 cents, and the work the old gardener had done told me once again, people suck. At least, most of them.
To play dumb and see a working man as invisible? It is out of the question even to comment.

At the same time, many people begged for money. I don’t tolerate that. If someone wants to work, they work.

Where is the human discipline gone?

Probably, it is in the same place where humanity is — in the books and buried deep under the artificial silicone fields in every living area.
However, charity does not cost much — it is a kind word, listening to, or buying something that a man has grown up in his garden. It is the smile you can give to an unknown person or a coffee you can buy up to 2 euros.

People can buy products made by non-profit organizations for animal rights. The list may be endless, but that is another topic.

Until when people will look only before their noses and even wolves will be better creatures?

I wanted to say that. Whoever doesn’t like it may continue living however likes.

For today, I finish my thinking confession, because I am on an important life journey.

Perfect Lies – Poem

It is dedicated to new beginnings that start by overcoming old patterns.

While drinking my wine

In the cheapest of glasses,

I can not deny

My memory’s coming

Back on my mind

To make me remember

How perfectly I lied

My past undevotion

To make up the lines

Of tears that inspire

The pain that arises,

Remember the lovers

Who made me survive

Their most perfect lies

For new of beginning

Going down to revive

The power of believing

Into the past of youth hive

I became more clever

From saving my pride

That gives a reason

To not further forgiving

Down memory line,

I continue reviewing

What should I have undone

To keep me from grieving

Perfection on my own

That indeed is deceiving

In a long time the run

To play unforgiven

And be out of love

The clock stopped ticking

While I listen to Night Jazz

In my rented residence

Dreaming of the future, Alas.

************

In January 2022, I moved to a rented house with my child. At first, it was an empty place with nothing in it. I made it feel like home – not as beautiful as my last living place, but it was a peaceful space for my new life with my daughter.

At first, I bought a few wine glasses, but I broke most of them, and now are four. I put a lot of furniture in my rented home. I am uncertain how much time I will spend there, but as a free soul, blogger, and Zumba lover, I need my home space.

Recently, I have thought about moving on without my old patterns and seeing them fall apart. It’s somehow weird because it’s like a snake skin that is changed. After so many lies I used to tell myself and unconsciously to all the people I have ever loved, I still seek forgiveness for myself. Maybe it’s egotistical or the way my current life should go on. But, I feel with every fiber of my body there is a need for a drastic change in my life.