Everyone has heard: “You’re a strong man”, “You’re a powerful woman”, etc.
That phrase is not a compliment anymore. It means: “Do it on your own, alone, because I have no time for you, but I will listen when you need me.”
Best friends, lovers, and even family members go away physically or mentally when things that happen to another person are harsh. If they take part, that will ruin their comfort.
At a time like that, strangers always help more by listening. I say it by experience.
Recently I had talks with many people who once upon a time were a part of my life. They all have said to me in different periods: “You are a strong woman,” and yes, they have right. But, I am an alone and powerful woman because the men and women ran away from my life when I cried silently for a listening ear or some moral support.
However, outside my dramatic approach today because of the Solar Eclipse, I will summarize the points of my opinion regarding today’s topic.
People read many books, articles, forums, etc. for self-help. They consume every piece of information and forget that humans are something real and out of paper. The other scenario for this indifference is living in the own head and not going out to reach for another person.
The readers become indifferent because they do not practice face-to-face communication or are afraid to express their support physically with a hug or even a pat on the shoulder. With this way of thinking, there will never be a connection on a level outside reading.
Even the message online could help, but both interlocutors should know each other very well to experience that. Even if they do when the time is challenging, there is a deep, indifferent silence on the other side of the phone or personal computer.
Is that alright for heartfelt communication between close-to-heart people?
Let’s say, all people have somebody they used to know, and who has the hardship to express himself. When they need him to connect with the talk, the answer that is given is cold, polite, and pushes away the seeker for moral support. That shows a clear lack of personal connection between the two persons. If there is any bond between them, the coldness of words makes people connect less. The sincerity seems uncertain.
Many people indeed have problems with expressing their feelings. They should at least try doing it for the sake of the relationship and make the other person feel treasured – romantic or friendly. Coldness in communication only makes communication forced with time, and the one-party leaves it. And the “strong person” talk makes it not work.
Is there a real connection then?
There is a saying that love is not comfortable. I do not mean romantic love only. For a matter of heart,t is the right saying. I mean that friendship should also not be based only on comfort and comfortable choices to run away when time is challenging. Sometimes is enough for the person who goes through a hard time to calm down with simple words such as “Everything will be alright” or “I am here for you.” These words, however, should be sincere and not just because there is a need for something to be said.
Comfort is a good thing, but not when it comes to relationships. It becomes fake with time if people look for each other only when they are comfortable.
Is the contentment a bridge or a sliver?
An interesting situation to call someone “strong” happens when the one who says it, runs away somewhere calm and speaks from afar without putting much care into the words or letters.
When people are far, they begin to know more and do less for the person who needs them in the concrete moment of weakness.
Most humans love to avoid drama and go to safer places where the worse situation cannot reach them. It seems a bit hypocritical. But running away is well known for millions of years into Human evolution.
Right said, today I do not see humanity as the way it was in old times. That goes for any kind of evolution, too. Everyone runs away and stays safe on his own, blaming others for not being by their sides. The bond is a two-way ticket between two hearts and ten steps divided in half for every party to make them.
Choosing to run away from a loved person when he goes through hell, is unserious and false.
Is that showing care for someone?
I said in the paragraph above. I see no evolution in humans today. But the reason for that is simple – laziness.
It is lazy to call someone “strong” without putting an effort to be by his side. In today’s world, there are so many luxuries, and material things, which birth came from insipidness on what to do with money and time, for example, that people have forgotten what evolving means.
Everything can be bought, including fake feelings, time, and pleasure that make people stagnant and impotent to love with their hearts and souls. They become lazy to feel, fight, and keep their loved ones.
Words ran dry as a distant mirage, and the compassionate touch is like a moth burned by the flame of self-help, and I mean self as Lonely. Communication between hearts dies or is not expressive, making it almost the same as demise.
Also, I can say that when the elementary care for a friend is amiss, there is no reason to do charities for the poor to show off, for example.
I think after answering the questions above, people will understand why calling someone “strong” is not a compliment, but most like leaving the person in the dark.
There was a time when “you are powerful” was a compliment, but now the meaning is far behind its original idea.
Many people indeed prefer solving their problems alone, but here the importance is the gesture of showing care. When there is proof someone cares, things become different.
People, in general, are strong, but that is not an excuse to shut off someone who they need gentle and kind support to keep going. Nobody wants to feel lonely and does not deserve it. Humans are love seekers and givers, or they should be.
But, today, I am not sure if there are still humans, so I prefer talking with animals and doing animal charities.
I still believe in the good of humans, but I am always proved wrong. However, I will continue to believe, and maybe someday, I will be wrong.
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