“Why not me?” is always the first question when we see we fall for someone who is cold and distant toward us or gives mixed signals.
Since I have rich experience in overthinking the “Why not me?” question because my unrequited loves are a crowd, I will try to answer it sincerely. It may help all who take the time to read what I have written, and they can find themselves in my words.
The bright side of one-sided love is that every time a person gets rejected, that becomes expected, and it doesn’t hurt too much.
Sometimes it is funny how people that reject you try to play innocent.
Both sentences are hypocritical because why do people flirt with just a friend?
In the case of rejection of a friend in the first stages of falling in love, it is possible to become a strong friendship after some time apart, when the rejected person heals.
The pain of rejection is intoxicating and a wake-up call.
Now, let’s see the “Why not me?” question’s reasons:
Not ready for a relationship;
Not over the ex-lover or loving someone else;
Lack of will to deal with another’s personal feelings;
Not being ready for a relationship;
In today’s life, that situation is the most common reason to not step into a relationship. Many people are obsessed with their work and problems with their parents or siblings. Or they do not want to have a relationship at the current moment in their lives. That is perfectly fine because when people have no peace of mind or clear vision of what they want, a relationship may make them more uncertain. A forced relationship just because to be in a relationship is a bad idea.
Currently, I do not need a relationship too. Many people should first collect themselves from the past wounds and build their new hearts home because the purity of heart is all we have.
For the heart to be pure, people need to build walls first for a while to understand better what they want from themselves, their lives, and their eventual partner.
When people are not ready to jump into a relationship, they should control their lust for doing the jump because if they don’t, their hearts will be more broken than before. I say it from experience.
Last year, I went straight away from one relationship to another, and I ended up so broken on a deep level that I hardly can heal, but time takes care of me. I wish no one my experience, so I gladly share my piece of wisdom. When people are not ready to give something valuable in their eventual relationship, they should stay single until their heads clear up.
A relationship is giving, and inspiring the partner, not whining, and blaming the universe. My case now is similar because I finally found my “Why not me?” question’s answer. I can’t give any man that flirts or speaks with me what he deserves for a love relationship.
The reason is that I have more serious work to make myself a whole than to project my disappointment and drama on other people.
I keep myself emotionally unavailable until the time I find myself. That is why I block almost all communication with potential baes in the beginning. I am not proud of this, but it is the best solution for participants in the flirt game because if things go deep, I can’t jump into a serious relationship now, after so many breakups. I do not want to give empty promises or unrealistic hopes.
Another example I can give of not being ready for a relationship is from one of my male friends. He is quite ambitious about his work, and he sees the eventual relationship as a distraction in his work field. That is the reason why he looks only for physical contact with women, but after some adventures, he said to me he doesn’t want to make women pregnant and stays solo until he is ready to commit.
Many people are like me, and him at the moment. In that situation, my opinion is it’s better to not talk about any prospect of a love relationship, and not even think about it if people are not ready to open themselves to others.
When a person is not ready for a relationship in his heart and mind, it’s a high possibility of heartbreak.
Of course, if someone is too brave and patient to break the heart’s walls, meeting the worst behind them, the love magic can happen. But that is almost an unrealistic tale.
Many people do not go into a relationship because they are not over their ex-partner or love someone else.
Unrequited love sometimes happens because people do not listen to their inner voices but to others. It doesn’t matter if the others are family, friends, or elders. The pain of one-sided love makes people grow up and upgrade their emotional intelligence level.
Only when they are emotionally stable, comprehensible in their heads, and accept their intuition, does a relationship blossom. Even so, fear of the “Why not me?” question is normal these days, and it is a must for a person to mature.
There is a saying that a broken heart gives the best life lessons.
That is the truth because, without these life lessons, people stay like babies that do not know how to take steps, and always will need someone to guide them. For the perfect relationship, a person should be imperfect but whole.
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